I'm on MC today. Have been ill for the past week and have not fully recovered.
I don't respect No.1 anymore. I don't see how I can continue working in this place if I don't respect No.1. I suppose I could survive as long as I have minimum contact or dealings with him. My primary job is still to teach and I think I will do just that and focus on my students. It will be difficult becuase it will be inevitable to have to work with him or do what he wants me to do because he is No.1. We'll see how it goes.
There seems to be alot that I need to do for HFC. I will do it and I will not allow HFC to digress. Anne and Ian keeps saying that we're very different from other volunteers. Honestly, I don't really SEE the difference. Maybe I do not work with other volunteers and I do not know what other volunteers for AWWA or for other associations really do, but according to Anne, we're special cos we're very organized. Ian said that we're the kind who will ask "Why so little to do" when given a task and that makes us different from the rest. I think the new comers into TeachMe ought to realise this. We're not ordinary. I mean, we're more than just the attached volunteer to the child who will go through the entire camp with the child as if we're a participant too. We're so much more. Excuse me, but we were the ones who started this whole idea of the camp! Without HFC today, the TeachMe kids won't even have the opportunity of ever having an outdoor camp experience!
HFC is special. I do not know how I can bring up the number of new volunteers in future, but we'll see how things go.
The retreat was a success. Tired as I was and as we all were, it was a success. He did alot for this retreat too. Had it not been for him, I would have overslept on Sunday. Had it not been for his reminders on time, the whole thing would have dragged on and on. He did alot of planning, purchasing and emailing to the rest. Dear, thanks. I don't think I could have pulled it off without you or without your support.
Monday, March 24, 2003
Saturday, March 08, 2003
Went to the chinese bone physician today (2nd time). My spine is severely crooked and that's why I have been having bad backaches for as long as I can remember. My right shoulder has also been problematic and she discovered that my right shoulder blade has collapsed a little. It was an excrutiating massage as she pressed and tortured my veins (made my whole arm numb and ache with pain while she did that). She also pressed, rubbed and pushed my spine and the muscles around it. It was painful but good. I am on medication now and will have to see her again for a few more sessions to cure these problems.
He's also sick today. Bad sore throat and fever. He accompanied us (his mum and me) to the physician and waited while we both had our therapy done. I saw him dozing off while waiting outside the therapy room. He need not come along but he did and I love him for that.
The taxi ride back to his house was bumpy and jerky. In addition, the rain, the cold air-con, my splitting headache and the lunch I just had made me feel even worse. I was controlling myself from throwing up in the cab. When we got out of the cab, we had to run a distance in the heavy rain to the void deck and then walk over to his block. I was feeling really shitty by then. Felt like I could collapse and faint any time. We made it home and I went straight to the toilet. Emptied my stomach's contents in three major retches. Also took a dump. Felt better after that, and then we took a nap.
We were deciding whether or not to go out tonight. I still had my headache till about 1 hour ago when I took panadol extra. Headache is gone but I feel weak and sickly. Am still having my fever. He is also feverish. We decided that it was pointless to stagger out of the house tonight just for the sake of going out. Besides, we don't know where to go nor what to do. So I guess we'll stay in tonight.
What a way to spend Saturday. I don't get many saturday offs and I have to be ill.
By the way, he made breakfast for us this morning. Egg, sausages, bacon, baked beans and coffee. It was so good! We were supposed to prepare breakfast together but he got up earlier and starting the preparation before me. When I got up, everything was mostly done....all I did was make coffee.....I feel so lucky to have him in my life....
He's also sick today. Bad sore throat and fever. He accompanied us (his mum and me) to the physician and waited while we both had our therapy done. I saw him dozing off while waiting outside the therapy room. He need not come along but he did and I love him for that.
The taxi ride back to his house was bumpy and jerky. In addition, the rain, the cold air-con, my splitting headache and the lunch I just had made me feel even worse. I was controlling myself from throwing up in the cab. When we got out of the cab, we had to run a distance in the heavy rain to the void deck and then walk over to his block. I was feeling really shitty by then. Felt like I could collapse and faint any time. We made it home and I went straight to the toilet. Emptied my stomach's contents in three major retches. Also took a dump. Felt better after that, and then we took a nap.
We were deciding whether or not to go out tonight. I still had my headache till about 1 hour ago when I took panadol extra. Headache is gone but I feel weak and sickly. Am still having my fever. He is also feverish. We decided that it was pointless to stagger out of the house tonight just for the sake of going out. Besides, we don't know where to go nor what to do. So I guess we'll stay in tonight.
What a way to spend Saturday. I don't get many saturday offs and I have to be ill.
By the way, he made breakfast for us this morning. Egg, sausages, bacon, baked beans and coffee. It was so good! We were supposed to prepare breakfast together but he got up earlier and starting the preparation before me. When I got up, everything was mostly done....all I did was make coffee.....I feel so lucky to have him in my life....
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
I'm so tired...
WHY DO I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS MUCH THINGS TO DO AT WORK?!?!?!
I saw a doctor for stress. I was given medication dor goddy spells.
You see the problem is this...when you break down, people are just going to say that "she just couldn't cope" and I'm not going to allow that to happen because I believe I can do it. I believe that I can do a good job out of any task given and I am capable of it. I will not tolerate being someone who crumbles under stress.
WHY DO I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THIS MUCH THINGS TO DO AT WORK?!?!?!
I saw a doctor for stress. I was given medication dor goddy spells.
You see the problem is this...when you break down, people are just going to say that "she just couldn't cope" and I'm not going to allow that to happen because I believe I can do it. I believe that I can do a good job out of any task given and I am capable of it. I will not tolerate being someone who crumbles under stress.
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