Tuesday, January 29, 2002
arghhh...I cannot believe I am still in school at this time!
Going to Scotts Picnic to have dinner with Jen, Min and Qing, followed by dessert at Grounds. Brought a camera along...going to take some pictures!...yeah, with my tired face, dark rings and droopy lids...I'll look fantastic.
In school now and in no time the Auntie will come and chase me off. A couple of my colleagues still around. Workaholics!!
Miss my baby so much....we're going swimming tomorrow! We missed it last night as he was not well. HWA and our local medical services are terrible. To think Singapore is supposed to strive for world-class standards! It costs so much for medical treatment here and we get peanuts in return. Long queues and long waits. Promises of recovery and continual treatment but disappearing acts after the patient is well enough to be discharged. Endless paperwork just to get something simple that is supposed to convenience us. Worse still that the paperwork has to be done in different locations that are all over Singapore!
I could go on complaining...but we got to take action, ok baby? love u...
Going to Scotts Picnic to have dinner with Jen, Min and Qing, followed by dessert at Grounds. Brought a camera along...going to take some pictures!...yeah, with my tired face, dark rings and droopy lids...I'll look fantastic.
In school now and in no time the Auntie will come and chase me off. A couple of my colleagues still around. Workaholics!!
Miss my baby so much....we're going swimming tomorrow! We missed it last night as he was not well. HWA and our local medical services are terrible. To think Singapore is supposed to strive for world-class standards! It costs so much for medical treatment here and we get peanuts in return. Long queues and long waits. Promises of recovery and continual treatment but disappearing acts after the patient is well enough to be discharged. Endless paperwork just to get something simple that is supposed to convenience us. Worse still that the paperwork has to be done in different locations that are all over Singapore!
I could go on complaining...but we got to take action, ok baby? love u...
Monday, January 28, 2002
We went to Chinatown with his mother tonight to see the chinese physician there. He used a blunt metal pin to poke at her acupoints around her ears and it apparently gave her instant relief for her migraine. Thereafter there was a follow-up of a black concoction of medicine to take. Chinese medicine is always so simple. I remember those times when I was young and I had asthmatic coughs. My mother would take me to the chinese physician at the medical hall near my place. He would feel my pulse, stare intensely at his table, and conclude that I was having a bad fever, runny nose, lots of phlegm and difficulty breathing. Then he would scribble some chinese characters on the slip of paper and pass it to his assistant outside who will mix the medication for me.
One thing I always remember about this chinese physician is that he always had this little pillow on his table. Its really tiny. Meant for us to rest our wrist on while he took our pulse...
oops...overtime again...supposed to log out and go to bed at 1115pm...I actually fell asleep in front of the PC....goodnight diary...
One thing I always remember about this chinese physician is that he always had this little pillow on his table. Its really tiny. Meant for us to rest our wrist on while he took our pulse...
oops...overtime again...supposed to log out and go to bed at 1115pm...I actually fell asleep in front of the PC....goodnight diary...
You like my new layout? It took me a moment of inspiration and a stroke of genius (yeah) to fiddle around with templates last night to get this result. I'm pretty proud of myself. heh..
I suppose I can take computing? Since I have the flare?
Work today was bad. I have lost my drive. I can sit at my table and stare at my to-do list and not feel that zeal I once had to do the to-do's on the list. I did get some of the stuff done though, but the drive came from wanting to prevent further stress in the next few days and weeks to come. I dread work.
I suppose I can take computing? Since I have the flare?
Work today was bad. I have lost my drive. I can sit at my table and stare at my to-do list and not feel that zeal I once had to do the to-do's on the list. I did get some of the stuff done though, but the drive came from wanting to prevent further stress in the next few days and weeks to come. I dread work.
Saturday, January 26, 2002
Friday, January 25, 2002
Got email from Audrey today. She told me who Ken was with now. Just a passing comment. She said Kim (his new gf) is a nice and decent girl. Well, I'm happy for him. Despite the pains I went through, despite having to take as long as one whole year (slightly less actually) to get over the hurts, despite the fact that I am still paying for expenses incured by him in the past, I ask myself honestly and my answer is yes, I want him to be happy too. Why not? There's no need for me to be bitchy about things. Gone are the days where I would break down whenever I listen to any sappy sentimental love song, where I would start tearing on the bus when I think about the things that happened between us, where I would break down when he calls to ask about those financial stuff between us. Its amazing how I can stand and look back calmly and recognise everything as history, a buried past, an experience, and a lesson learnt.
A lesson learnt? yeah. I learnt not to let myself be manipulated in anyway at all. I learnt to spend money that you have and not money that you WILL have NEXT month. I am paying my credit cards through my nose now. I have decided not to go into the nitty gritty details to dig out all the transactions that were incurred by him. Because credit card bills were not the only ones. What about the cash that was borrowed and not returned? When we were together, I did not keep any records (maybe I should have but you don't do such things when you are a couple, right? You don't get "calculative" with each other...) I cannot remember how much I have taken out for him anyway.
Many people tell me I was really stupid and all that. I know. That is why I call it a lesson learnt. It's not my nature to go to his place with broomsticks to demand for my money back. He once said before (during that period of time when we were trying to get back together) that he will return me the money one day. The context at that time was this : we were having problems and he was deciding to not see me anymore, so he said things like,"Don't worry about the money, I will pay you back." At that moment, all I could reply was "The money's not the issue here" and I would be crying and all that. Pretty dramatic huh? Well, let's see if he will return the money. I am not having high hopes, though.
So I've learnt my lesson. Life goes on for all of us. For those of us who have been through a difficult relationshop, a painful break-up, I think you'll share the same feeling I have -- to be able to stand up and walk now. We've been through those times where we were left lying in the ground, trampled and crumbled, those times where the people around us try hard to counsel and talk to us and all we could do was hear and not listen to what they were saying, those times where we slowly realised that we just have to move on because there were other important things to do, other responsibilities waiting for us, those times where all you could manage was a leopard crawl, then you slowly get on your fours and crawl, then you stand up slowly and then walk, and then eventually the spring in your step returns and you can run, and eventually you are able to turn around and look at the path you have taken.
We've come a long way, baby...
A lesson learnt? yeah. I learnt not to let myself be manipulated in anyway at all. I learnt to spend money that you have and not money that you WILL have NEXT month. I am paying my credit cards through my nose now. I have decided not to go into the nitty gritty details to dig out all the transactions that were incurred by him. Because credit card bills were not the only ones. What about the cash that was borrowed and not returned? When we were together, I did not keep any records (maybe I should have but you don't do such things when you are a couple, right? You don't get "calculative" with each other...) I cannot remember how much I have taken out for him anyway.
Many people tell me I was really stupid and all that. I know. That is why I call it a lesson learnt. It's not my nature to go to his place with broomsticks to demand for my money back. He once said before (during that period of time when we were trying to get back together) that he will return me the money one day. The context at that time was this : we were having problems and he was deciding to not see me anymore, so he said things like,"Don't worry about the money, I will pay you back." At that moment, all I could reply was "The money's not the issue here" and I would be crying and all that. Pretty dramatic huh? Well, let's see if he will return the money. I am not having high hopes, though.
So I've learnt my lesson. Life goes on for all of us. For those of us who have been through a difficult relationshop, a painful break-up, I think you'll share the same feeling I have -- to be able to stand up and walk now. We've been through those times where we were left lying in the ground, trampled and crumbled, those times where the people around us try hard to counsel and talk to us and all we could do was hear and not listen to what they were saying, those times where we slowly realised that we just have to move on because there were other important things to do, other responsibilities waiting for us, those times where all you could manage was a leopard crawl, then you slowly get on your fours and crawl, then you stand up slowly and then walk, and then eventually the spring in your step returns and you can run, and eventually you are able to turn around and look at the path you have taken.
We've come a long way, baby...
Sometimes I really feel that the Band will be lost without me. I'm not trying to put myself on the pedestal or what. Ok, maybe I should re-phrase that statement...the Band would lose its direction without someone pushing them from behind. I'm that someone now. I have to make far-sighted plans for them and carry out the current actitivities with those goals in mind. I have to assign and delegate duties and stipulate out everything that I want the leaders to do so that the activities will run smoothly. Though I have been given a third teacher-in-charge to help out, she cannot do any of these for me because she doesn't know much about the band. It took me some time and plenty of commitment and effort to know what I know today about the band. The other 2 teachers can only help by being around during the days where they have band duty. The person to do the planning is ultimately me. Worse now, I have to consult both of them and check against their schedules before making any decisions for the band. Work gets tedious when you have to go through so many levels of clearance before getting anything done. But I guess, from the "helicopter" view, these are necessary.
I wanted to leave early (at 3pm) today. I ended up leaving at about 4:45pm. Spent all my time with the band members, briefing the leaders on what to do on Saturday and also taking care of the Cadets. I told everyone I will not be coming to school on Saturday. Like what Dear said, I have to give them (students and new teacher-in-charge) time to learn and to make mistakes. I cannot be there always to oversee everything. I have to see when is the time where I can afford to leave them on their own to find their own way around so that they will learn and they will not be too dependent on me. So this Saturday will be the day. I must learn to let go! Always think, if I were to quit teaching, the band will still go on, they will still survive. So stop stressing myself up on these trivialities (again).
I wanted to leave early (at 3pm) today. I ended up leaving at about 4:45pm. Spent all my time with the band members, briefing the leaders on what to do on Saturday and also taking care of the Cadets. I told everyone I will not be coming to school on Saturday. Like what Dear said, I have to give them (students and new teacher-in-charge) time to learn and to make mistakes. I cannot be there always to oversee everything. I have to see when is the time where I can afford to leave them on their own to find their own way around so that they will learn and they will not be too dependent on me. So this Saturday will be the day. I must learn to let go! Always think, if I were to quit teaching, the band will still go on, they will still survive. So stop stressing myself up on these trivialities (again).
Its a cool night tonight. Rained the most of today, in fact. We forgone the plans to go to Chinatown to collect our Bintan tickets after dinner as It was raining. Much nicer to snuggle in bed and watch tv...him, not me. I slept like a log.
Blogged a whole lot of things last night but forgot to save everything. Couldn't get it posted and lost the entire blog just like that. Vanished into thin air! Was so pissed at myself. It was so frustrating!
Blogged a whole lot of things last night but forgot to save everything. Couldn't get it posted and lost the entire blog just like that. Vanished into thin air! Was so pissed at myself. It was so frustrating!
Thursday, January 24, 2002
We booked for a trip to Bintan this weekend. Its his birthday!
Have not had the time to sit down and blog for the past week. I think its been longer that that! Past 2 weeks maybe? My days are filled with work and spending time with him. Work is a commitment and he is my top priority. I'm so tired after I reach home everyday that I basically have just about enough energy to do minimal work at home like packing my room and all that, and then I just faint into bed. Tonight is an exception because we had a long nap in the evening and my batteries are charged up a little.
Even as I am typing this, I am wondering whether I should sleep now so that I have enough energy tomorrow, or should I just rest in the afternoon and make sure I leave school as early as possible. Can't believe I am stressing my brain with these trivialities in life!
The Jamiroquai concert was good. Its the second concert I've attended. The first was West Life in 2000. I'm not a West Life fan but I do listen to their songs over the radio and the tunes are just catchy. Even have the CD cos my sis used to get all these CDs free for her magazine. Anyway, West Life concert was bad and very boring. No entertainment, mediocre dance moves (my grandma can do better), thin voices that sometimes go out-of-tune, poor capture of audience atmosphere...good thing the tickets were not that expensive.
Jamiroquai was great. Jay Kay is very cute. He's actually pretty small sized and skinny. Smooth dance moves and super flexible hips! I love his hats. Good thing we did not actually don funny hats for this concert or we would have stuck out like sore thumbs. (yes, we talked about wearing big hats to the concert.)
Have not had the time to sit down and blog for the past week. I think its been longer that that! Past 2 weeks maybe? My days are filled with work and spending time with him. Work is a commitment and he is my top priority. I'm so tired after I reach home everyday that I basically have just about enough energy to do minimal work at home like packing my room and all that, and then I just faint into bed. Tonight is an exception because we had a long nap in the evening and my batteries are charged up a little.
Even as I am typing this, I am wondering whether I should sleep now so that I have enough energy tomorrow, or should I just rest in the afternoon and make sure I leave school as early as possible. Can't believe I am stressing my brain with these trivialities in life!
The Jamiroquai concert was good. Its the second concert I've attended. The first was West Life in 2000. I'm not a West Life fan but I do listen to their songs over the radio and the tunes are just catchy. Even have the CD cos my sis used to get all these CDs free for her magazine. Anyway, West Life concert was bad and very boring. No entertainment, mediocre dance moves (my grandma can do better), thin voices that sometimes go out-of-tune, poor capture of audience atmosphere...good thing the tickets were not that expensive.
Jamiroquai was great. Jay Kay is very cute. He's actually pretty small sized and skinny. Smooth dance moves and super flexible hips! I love his hats. Good thing we did not actually don funny hats for this concert or we would have stuck out like sore thumbs. (yes, we talked about wearing big hats to the concert.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2002
Monday, January 21, 2002
Saturday, January 19, 2002
Tiring day. Was in school at 7am in the morning and basically ran the activities all the way till 1:40pm. Only had a 15 minute break for a coffee in between.
She's very demoralized by the school environment and she is really thinking of quiting. I can see why. It is a dead end for you if you are already be judged before you do anything. You will only be fighting as losing battle. This is demoralizing.
She's very demoralized by the school environment and she is really thinking of quiting. I can see why. It is a dead end for you if you are already be judged before you do anything. You will only be fighting as losing battle. This is demoralizing.
Been a long time since I came in here to write. Something like...five days? Been busy. Been Tired. Been bitching. Been going out. Been so happy. Been loved by him. Been ....laden? (haha, ok. corny joke)
Went to the gym today. After being MIA for about a month. Muscles certainly needed the torture. Thanks dear for pushing me to go, otherwise I would have just gone straight to meet you instead.
Would like to get some kind of routine going for exercise. We will go swimming every wednesday from now at SSC. The training is provided by the SSCD. So for me to jum into the pool as well, I have to pretend to be hearing-impaired(!) I might need to pick up some basic sign language...
I am very proud of you. Remember the "little goals along the way to get to the biggest goal" thing? You just cleared and crossed one of those hurdles and achieved one of the small goals! *wave pom poms frantically*
sleepy. goodnight.
Went to the gym today. After being MIA for about a month. Muscles certainly needed the torture. Thanks dear for pushing me to go, otherwise I would have just gone straight to meet you instead.
Would like to get some kind of routine going for exercise. We will go swimming every wednesday from now at SSC. The training is provided by the SSCD. So for me to jum into the pool as well, I have to pretend to be hearing-impaired(!) I might need to pick up some basic sign language...
I am very proud of you. Remember the "little goals along the way to get to the biggest goal" thing? You just cleared and crossed one of those hurdles and achieved one of the small goals! *wave pom poms frantically*
sleepy. goodnight.
Monday, January 14, 2002
The working environment just isn't the same anymore. We have to be guarded against so many people and against so many things. The real meaning of "it's a jungle out there, the survival of the fittest" is only beginning to really seep in at this point. We all learn from experiences. I hope that she will learn soon, that there are some people in the office whom you cannot trust. No point us giving caution and waving "Danger" signboards at her. Some things you just got to go through...to learn it the hard way.
How to keep that fire burning and that passion alive when your direct superiors are always ready to blow out your fire and burst your bubble?
I still love teaching. I always have. But I truly understand why some dedicated teachers still choose to leave the profession.
How to keep that fire burning and that passion alive when your direct superiors are always ready to blow out your fire and burst your bubble?
I still love teaching. I always have. But I truly understand why some dedicated teachers still choose to leave the profession.
Sunday, January 13, 2002
No Sign Board Seafood. Butter cereal prawns. The best. But super expensive!
Geylang sights and sounds. Feels like the 70's - 80's times. Nostalgic. Getting scrutinsed by the men. Not too comfortable but ok cos I know I am safe. Sitting at little coffeeshops tucked away at the corners, wondering about the life of the old man sharing our table. What did he do with his life? What was he like? Does he have children? Does he have a wife? Did he enjoy his yuppy days like how we are enjoying ours? What tears have he shed? And over whom/what? A ponderous moment over a cigeratte could speak a thousand words. What's going on in his mind? Maybe nothing at all........
Geylang sights and sounds. Feels like the 70's - 80's times. Nostalgic. Getting scrutinsed by the men. Not too comfortable but ok cos I know I am safe. Sitting at little coffeeshops tucked away at the corners, wondering about the life of the old man sharing our table. What did he do with his life? What was he like? Does he have children? Does he have a wife? Did he enjoy his yuppy days like how we are enjoying ours? What tears have he shed? And over whom/what? A ponderous moment over a cigeratte could speak a thousand words. What's going on in his mind? Maybe nothing at all........
Saturday, January 12, 2002
Why should I work so hard when in the end I get such disgusting comments? I spent 80% of my time in this place working my ass off. Don't matter if no one sees it. Don't matter if no one appreciates it. Don't matter if no one knows about it. But don't say that I have not been working when you don't know the real picture.
J, don't waste your tears on these people. I know it really hurts because I feel it too when I put myself in your shoes. Its so hard to go on when you know how people see you and what kind of comments and opinions they have about you. But you have to remember, we are not here for them. Not even for ourselves. We are here for our students. THAT is the only reason that keeps us here. We love you J. I love you very much. And I believe in you. We will go through this shit together.
J, don't waste your tears on these people. I know it really hurts because I feel it too when I put myself in your shoes. Its so hard to go on when you know how people see you and what kind of comments and opinions they have about you. But you have to remember, we are not here for them. Not even for ourselves. We are here for our students. THAT is the only reason that keeps us here. We love you J. I love you very much. And I believe in you. We will go through this shit together.
I am so angry. At the same time I feel so sorry for J. I am lucky that I have been given assignments that I feel strongly for and I work hard for them because I enjoy them. And my efforts are visible because in the first place my CCA is one that performs on stage! She has put in so much more than I have into her work, into her students. Does anyone see it? Only one person with the authority sees it and he has tried so hard to fight for her, only to be put down by the rest, saying that he fights for her because they are good friends. Fuck them. He did not fight for R when R got bad reviews last year and he is closer to R than to J. So stop trying to find excuses for him supporting her. Why don't you fucking open your god damn eyes and see for yourself why the fuck this Head of Department of yours sees in this officer to believe in her so much and to fight so hard for her?
Its not like we work to be recognised, to be promoted or to be given high grades. We don't give a damn about all that. But one thing we certainly do NOT appreciate is to be misjudged and to not have our work duely recognised and appreciated for. What do you take us for?
Its not like we work to be recognised, to be promoted or to be given high grades. We don't give a damn about all that. But one thing we certainly do NOT appreciate is to be misjudged and to not have our work duely recognised and appreciated for. What do you take us for?
I am sick and tired of all this shit. I am sick and tired of having people appreciate you for only the things that they can see. I am sick and tired of people who refuse to open their minds and be colour-blind. I am sick and tired of working for people who say one thing and behave another way. I am sick and tired of you telling us to voice out our grievances and then slapping a label on us just because we dare to voice out things that are negative.
We are here in this place now because of our passion. We are in this profession NOT because of MOE or for the money or for you. We are here because this is our calling and this is what we want to do. If I happen to do a good job out of it, its because of my own passions and drive about it. NOT because I want to be graded better by you. NOT because I want to show you what I have done. I don't have to prove anything to you. I don't have to prove how capable I am to you. I know for myself, in myself, how good I am and how far I can go. I know my limits and I know my abilities. NOT you. You DO NOT judge me. I DO NOT work for YOU. I work for my students. I teach THEM. I touch THEIR lives. NOT yours. So don't give me this shit about me not having done enough to deserve a better grade than what you intend to give me. I don't give a flying fuck. By what standards do you decide how well I have done? Lay it all out if you dare. Come on. Be transparent if you dare.
We are here in this place now because of our passion. We are in this profession NOT because of MOE or for the money or for you. We are here because this is our calling and this is what we want to do. If I happen to do a good job out of it, its because of my own passions and drive about it. NOT because I want to be graded better by you. NOT because I want to show you what I have done. I don't have to prove anything to you. I don't have to prove how capable I am to you. I know for myself, in myself, how good I am and how far I can go. I know my limits and I know my abilities. NOT you. You DO NOT judge me. I DO NOT work for YOU. I work for my students. I teach THEM. I touch THEIR lives. NOT yours. So don't give me this shit about me not having done enough to deserve a better grade than what you intend to give me. I don't give a flying fuck. By what standards do you decide how well I have done? Lay it all out if you dare. Come on. Be transparent if you dare.
How does it feel when you do so much at work and you put in so much effort and passion and others think you are not working just because they do not physically see what you have done? Does anyone ever stop to wonder how things flow smoothly around here? Does anyone stop to wonder who did all the background work? Does anyone stop to think that this idea was ever mentioned but brushed aside, only to be "stolen" and glorified by another? Why is it that we get judged just because of our colour? I am sick and tired of these people who just don't appreciate and recognise hard work and effort and results. Were your bloody ears closed when your top student last year mentioned only ONE name of the person whom he feels so grateful to for helping him in his studies and his English in school? Did you listen? Didn't you listen? WHO was he thanking in front of all the graduands, in front of the parents, in front of the entire school? WHO did he acrue his achievements to? He did not forget the person who contributed to his success. How could you, as a school management board, forget and dismiss the key person who contributed to your student's success? Instead you glorify the others who are simply hypocrites who would have forced this student to quit if he did not show any improvement, just so that their good record would not be broken.
Friday, January 11, 2002
Do you like New Age music? Try 89.3FM. I know its the TV mobile channel *groan*. But listen to it after 10pm (or 11pm?), after it ceases transmission on the buses. Pretty good stuff. But I also realised that they play the same stuff every night, so I already know all the pieces so well that I can hum them. This is what I have been sleeping to almost every night.....soothing....
goodnight everyone....TGIF....*yawn*
goodnight everyone....TGIF....*yawn*
It isn't difficult to be non-judgemental. Just be. But sometimes we do fall into the evil and we decide a person before we really get to know him/her. But the difference between us and them is that we are AWARE that we are judging when we judge. And we are ready to let go of the judgements once we have the opportunity to get to know that person better.
I won't give a shit if I was judged. It would only make me pity you because you are the one with the closed mind. No, I won't "judge you back" and conclude anything about you. But knowing that I was judge by you only makes me see you better. And there is no need for me to try to change your idea of me, to try to prove myself to you. In the first place, I am tired of people trying to show each other who they think they are, not who they really are. Be truthful to yourself. How can one be sincere to another without being sincere to oneself?
I won't give a shit if I was judged. It would only make me pity you because you are the one with the closed mind. No, I won't "judge you back" and conclude anything about you. But knowing that I was judge by you only makes me see you better. And there is no need for me to try to change your idea of me, to try to prove myself to you. In the first place, I am tired of people trying to show each other who they think they are, not who they really are. Be truthful to yourself. How can one be sincere to another without being sincere to oneself?
This is where I spent ten years of my life. I happened to be the last batch to do my O levels at the old building, that means I'm the last batch to have spent all ten years there.... still love the school for all the wonderful experiences and the beautiful souls there who inspired me to become what I am today. Some are still there, touching the lives of the younger ones.
Suddenly I am filled with thoughts of my Chinese Language teacher in Sec one. Mdm LiLing...she was a grand lady. Yes. Grand! In that one year that she taught us, she NEVER wore the same outfit twice. And all her dresses have matching shoes and bags that are specially tailored to the specific style and colour. She used to tell us that she has four wardrobes at home, all filled with her clothes and shoes. Amazing thing is, she was already like that when she taught my mum. (yeah, she was my mum's teacher too). She's such a fun and funny teacher. We had Chinese lessons in English. Knowing us (girls from my school have a reputation for being totally hopeless in our Mandarin), mdm Liling would translate all the "jie-shi" of all the difficult words into English so we could understand them better. She would pepper her lessons with hilarious jokes, sometimes crude, and have us splitting our sides and banging our tables in laughter. Her favourite word : fana (short for fanatic). She would scream, " Look at those fana girls!!" and point at a bunch of girls in the field doing burpees. There and then it was so funny (because they looked really dumb) the entire class burst into uncontrollable laughter!
Mdm Liling passed away years back. Jen called me when she saw the obituary in the papers. Well, she's alive in my memory and in many others as well, I'm sure. She was one of the beautiful people who inspired me to do what I am doing today.
Suddenly I am filled with thoughts of my Chinese Language teacher in Sec one. Mdm LiLing...she was a grand lady. Yes. Grand! In that one year that she taught us, she NEVER wore the same outfit twice. And all her dresses have matching shoes and bags that are specially tailored to the specific style and colour. She used to tell us that she has four wardrobes at home, all filled with her clothes and shoes. Amazing thing is, she was already like that when she taught my mum. (yeah, she was my mum's teacher too). She's such a fun and funny teacher. We had Chinese lessons in English. Knowing us (girls from my school have a reputation for being totally hopeless in our Mandarin), mdm Liling would translate all the "jie-shi" of all the difficult words into English so we could understand them better. She would pepper her lessons with hilarious jokes, sometimes crude, and have us splitting our sides and banging our tables in laughter. Her favourite word : fana (short for fanatic). She would scream, " Look at those fana girls!!" and point at a bunch of girls in the field doing burpees. There and then it was so funny (because they looked really dumb) the entire class burst into uncontrollable laughter!
Mdm Liling passed away years back. Jen called me when she saw the obituary in the papers. Well, she's alive in my memory and in many others as well, I'm sure. She was one of the beautiful people who inspired me to do what I am doing today.
I'm cured!
Anyone has contacts or knows any information about concert halls in Singapore that are suitable for a concert band performance? Need the hall to have good sound acoustics, no thick curtains, no thick carpets, no thick cushioned-seats....I need info such as all that, plus seating capacity, availability and last but not least, rental rates. Intending to launch a full-fletched concert band performance in Dec 2002. My biggest project this year. If you have attended concerts before, could you just let me know the name of the hall? So at least I can have something to begin research with...
What I already know : Victoria Concert Hall, Jubilee Hall Theatre Playhouse, The Substation, BB ITE, SP Auditorium, NP Auditorium.
Where I would really love to have my band perform : The Esplanade (it opens in October 2002). But itsbloody extremely expensive.
In the midst of surfing the web today, I came across this Singapore website...kind of like a search engine with lots of information about Singapore...pretty comprehensive, I thought....and what's more, I can use it for my lessons.....
Anyone has contacts or knows any information about concert halls in Singapore that are suitable for a concert band performance? Need the hall to have good sound acoustics, no thick curtains, no thick carpets, no thick cushioned-seats....I need info such as all that, plus seating capacity, availability and last but not least, rental rates. Intending to launch a full-fletched concert band performance in Dec 2002. My biggest project this year. If you have attended concerts before, could you just let me know the name of the hall? So at least I can have something to begin research with...
What I already know : Victoria Concert Hall, Jubilee Hall Theatre Playhouse, The Substation, BB ITE, SP Auditorium, NP Auditorium.
Where I would really love to have my band perform : The Esplanade (it opens in October 2002). But its
In the midst of surfing the web today, I came across this Singapore website...kind of like a search engine with lots of information about Singapore...pretty comprehensive, I thought....and what's more, I can use it for my lessons.....
Wednesday, January 09, 2002
Just spent some time at the office reading blogs...hmm...it feels good to not-do-work-when-at-work....
Have you woken up yet? Did you sleep well last night? Make sure you eat a proper lunch before you go for your physio ok...can work out without energy...wish I was still having my holidays so I can meet up with you for breakfast or something....hmm, now its my turn to be jealous that I have to wake up at 5:30am while you can sleep till much later! :-) Have a beautiful day darling.
wah so many links...
Have you woken up yet? Did you sleep well last night? Make sure you eat a proper lunch before you go for your physio ok...can work out without energy...wish I was still having my holidays so I can meet up with you for breakfast or something....hmm, now its my turn to be jealous that I have to wake up at 5:30am while you can sleep till much later! :-) Have a beautiful day darling.
wah so many links...
Tuesday, January 08, 2002
I am in school!
Tired eyes. Tired eyes. Tired eyes. Just finished keying in 3 classes of telephone numbers into the Pupil Monitoring System (PMS, indeed). No big deal? 40 students per class makes it 120 home telehpone numbers. Add father and mother's handphone numbers? That makes 360 numbers. Add father and mother's office numbers? That makes about another 240 numbers, ok say 150, as not every parent is working...so a total of 510 telephone numbers keyed in today. I have another 6 classes to go....*rub eyes*
Confusion during English lesson today. What was not so good was that there was an NIE trainee teacher observing my lesson today. Well, you cannot be delivering 100% fantastic lessons every single day, so I think I gave her a realistic idea of what an everyday norm would be. Honestly, I wasn't 100% prepared for the lesson. Then again, how many of us are? We don't even have the luxury of time to prepare our lessons. Give me time and I can promise you I am able to come up with beautiful charts and challenging worksheets, Internet and usage of computers, fun group activities and game lesson-triggers, you name it, I can do it.
Too bad we have but 24 hours a day..
Listening to my sentimental rock CD now as I do my work. I cannot hear when my name is being called. But I don't care....work is much easier when done with music.
What happens when you don't get enough sleep? One sign : an unhealthy scalp. At least for me. It seems as if my hair needs sleep as well in order to look fresh and "lively". Suddenly I feel like that creature in Monsters Inc. You know, the one who has little snakes for hair and the snakes perk up when she's happy, look lifeless when she isn't and cringes in fear when she mentions about a haircut or a perm? Medussa? Not that one! That's scary....
Tired eyes. Tired eyes. Tired eyes. Just finished keying in 3 classes of telephone numbers into the Pupil Monitoring System (PMS, indeed). No big deal? 40 students per class makes it 120 home telehpone numbers. Add father and mother's handphone numbers? That makes 360 numbers. Add father and mother's office numbers? That makes about another 240 numbers, ok say 150, as not every parent is working...so a total of 510 telephone numbers keyed in today. I have another 6 classes to go....*rub eyes*
Confusion during English lesson today. What was not so good was that there was an NIE trainee teacher observing my lesson today. Well, you cannot be delivering 100% fantastic lessons every single day, so I think I gave her a realistic idea of what an everyday norm would be. Honestly, I wasn't 100% prepared for the lesson. Then again, how many of us are? We don't even have the luxury of time to prepare our lessons. Give me time and I can promise you I am able to come up with beautiful charts and challenging worksheets, Internet and usage of computers, fun group activities and game lesson-triggers, you name it, I can do it.
Too bad we have but 24 hours a day..
Listening to my sentimental rock CD now as I do my work. I cannot hear when my name is being called. But I don't care....work is much easier when done with music.
What happens when you don't get enough sleep? One sign : an unhealthy scalp. At least for me. It seems as if my hair needs sleep as well in order to look fresh and "lively". Suddenly I feel like that creature in Monsters Inc. You know, the one who has little snakes for hair and the snakes perk up when she's happy, look lifeless when she isn't and cringes in fear when she mentions about a haircut or a perm? Medussa? Not that one! That's scary....
Supposed to sleep at 12:30am but was up reading his old blogs.
Supposed to sleep half an hour ago but was up because everything I typed before that disappeared into thin air after I accidently clicked on something I shouldn't have. What a punishment! I didn't think that click would have been so sever, otherwise I would have saved the blog somewhere else first. It was gone just like that!
Don't think I will elaborate about the cockroach episode anymore. I killed it and that's all that matters. Realise that I unconciously scan the bathroom before I undress for my shower now. Talk about being paranoid! I detest cockraoches. Especially flying ones. What possible purpose could they serve on earth? To think that they are so darn resilient that they have seen the dinosaurs and have survived the ice ages. I just don't see the point in their existence. I can somehow come up with a reason for almost every creature on earth to have a place here for some purpose...but cockroaches?
We burnt a sentimental rock cd just now! Ok, he burnt it, I selected the songs....I love the design of the cd dear...its so cool!
School drains my energy. Ok I should stop complaining I suppose...its the same everywhere. One person doing the job of two. Recession. Pay cuts. Retrenchment. I should count my blessings that I will never experience retrenchment. But hey, everyone has their difficulties at work. I can be so bitchy at work. I don't bite heads off and bark at people, but I do feel this blood-boil feeling in me when irritated. Come on...don't interrupt my discussion with my trainee attachment student just to ask me something that I have already answered on the noticeboard in the office downstairs. Go read it. Don't come to me while I am working at the computer tobootlick tell me how good I am with the band members and how much rapport I have and how far the band has come becuase of me. I don't appreciate it. Leave me alone to get my work done. You're just saying all these because you feel bad about leaving the school early on Saturday. You don't have to. I honestly don't mind if you had to go off.
Need to sleep. If not I will be grumpy tomorrow...
Supposed to sleep half an hour ago but was up because everything I typed before that disappeared into thin air after I accidently clicked on something I shouldn't have. What a punishment! I didn't think that click would have been so sever, otherwise I would have saved the blog somewhere else first. It was gone just like that!
Don't think I will elaborate about the cockroach episode anymore. I killed it and that's all that matters. Realise that I unconciously scan the bathroom before I undress for my shower now. Talk about being paranoid! I detest cockraoches. Especially flying ones. What possible purpose could they serve on earth? To think that they are so darn resilient that they have seen the dinosaurs and have survived the ice ages. I just don't see the point in their existence. I can somehow come up with a reason for almost every creature on earth to have a place here for some purpose...but cockroaches?
We burnt a sentimental rock cd just now! Ok, he burnt it, I selected the songs....I love the design of the cd dear...its so cool!
School drains my energy. Ok I should stop complaining I suppose...its the same everywhere. One person doing the job of two. Recession. Pay cuts. Retrenchment. I should count my blessings that I will never experience retrenchment. But hey, everyone has their difficulties at work. I can be so bitchy at work. I don't bite heads off and bark at people, but I do feel this blood-boil feeling in me when irritated. Come on...don't interrupt my discussion with my trainee attachment student just to ask me something that I have already answered on the noticeboard in the office downstairs. Go read it. Don't come to me while I am working at the computer to
Need to sleep. If not I will be grumpy tomorrow...
Monday, January 07, 2002
I know I should be sleeping at this time but I absolutely have to blog this down before I go to bed tonight or I will not sleep in peace.
I just had one of the most horrendous experiences in the bathroom! I wanted to take a shower before I went to bed. So I took all my stuff to the bathroom and happily hung them up on the railings in the bathroom. I was sitting on the toilet seat when I spotted a HUGE cockroach on the wall at the other corner of the bathroom near the door. Can you imagine that?!? There I was sitting, stark naked, not able to continue my pee, with my eyes totally fixed on the vermin, my mouth gaped and my breath shallow. I was trapped!! I was so trapped! My instant reaction was to scream and run out of the bathroom but my instincts stopped me before the screams could reach my throat. I could wake the neighbours! Besides, where could I run to? The creature was guarding the door.
Without letting the disgusting insect out of my sight, I quickly finished my pee and got up. I inched my way against the basin and on the wall opposite the door trying to get as close to the door as possible so that I could open it. Cockroach seemed to be asleep. Only its two long feelers were moving. (gross, right?) And then, that was the moment when it started to MOVE!! It crawled towards the doorknob as if aware of my intentions. I really whimpered and almost had an asthma attack. All I had to do was to open the door, run out and grab the Baygon to battle it.
I am too tired to continue. Flet alseep a couple of times blogging this.....
I just had one of the most horrendous experiences in the bathroom! I wanted to take a shower before I went to bed. So I took all my stuff to the bathroom and happily hung them up on the railings in the bathroom. I was sitting on the toilet seat when I spotted a HUGE cockroach on the wall at the other corner of the bathroom near the door. Can you imagine that?!? There I was sitting, stark naked, not able to continue my pee, with my eyes totally fixed on the vermin, my mouth gaped and my breath shallow. I was trapped!! I was so trapped! My instant reaction was to scream and run out of the bathroom but my instincts stopped me before the screams could reach my throat. I could wake the neighbours! Besides, where could I run to? The creature was guarding the door.
Without letting the disgusting insect out of my sight, I quickly finished my pee and got up. I inched my way against the basin and on the wall opposite the door trying to get as close to the door as possible so that I could open it. Cockroach seemed to be asleep. Only its two long feelers were moving. (gross, right?) And then, that was the moment when it started to MOVE!! It crawled towards the doorknob as if aware of my intentions. I really whimpered and almost had an asthma attack. All I had to do was to open the door, run out and grab the Baygon to battle it.
I am too tired to continue. Flet alseep a couple of times blogging this.....
Ever watched the movie Sliding Doors? Sometimes I do wonder about how life has turned out the way it has so far due to circumstance and due to the things we have done for ourselves. How different would it have been if we had not done certain things? Something as simple as having taken the MRT instead of the bus would have led to something totally different. Or if you had said something instead of shut your mouth up or vice versa, wht could have happened differently? If two people who have met had done something else differently on the first time they met, would they still have met? What if I had just gone home to sleep that Saturday night, instead of having "a cup of coffee"? What if I had gone for the movie with my friends instead? What if he never messaged me and what if I never responded?
But like the girl in the song by Pulp....stop asking questions that don't matter anyway. Just kiss and celebrate here today. We will never know the "What if this/that did/did not happen". But one thing we all know is whether we are happy where we are now. And I know I am. If you ask me whether I believe in fate, I'd say I don't know for sure. But I think somehow things happen to us for us in certain ways and there is a great plan somewhere for us and its up to us to discover, to know and to experience it. In all action, if we choose the one that makes us the happiest, without having to harm another in the process, I think we will all be happy. And if every path we take is the happiest path, we will not regret anything in future because we know that we have always been choosing the happiest paths...
I'm getting a little philioshopically confusing, am I?
Just a thought-flowing process....
But like the girl in the song by Pulp....stop asking questions that don't matter anyway. Just kiss and celebrate here today. We will never know the "What if this/that did/did not happen". But one thing we all know is whether we are happy where we are now. And I know I am. If you ask me whether I believe in fate, I'd say I don't know for sure. But I think somehow things happen to us for us in certain ways and there is a great plan somewhere for us and its up to us to discover, to know and to experience it. In all action, if we choose the one that makes us the happiest, without having to harm another in the process, I think we will all be happy. And if every path we take is the happiest path, we will not regret anything in future because we know that we have always been choosing the happiest paths...
I'm getting a little philioshopically confusing, am I?
Just a thought-flowing process....
Sunday, January 06, 2002
Something Changed - Pulp
I wrote this song two hours before we met
I didn't know your name or what you looked like yet
I could have stayed at home and gone to bed.
I could have gone to see a film instead.
You might have changed your mind and seen a friend
Life could have been every different but then something changed
Do you believe that there's someone up above?
And does he have a time-table directing acts of love?
Why did I write this song on that one day?
Why did you touch my hand and softly say
"Stop asking questions that don't matter anyway.
Just give us a kiss to celebrate here today - something changed"
When we woke up that morning,
we had no way of knowing that in a matter of hours
we'd changed the way we were going.
Where would I be now if we never met?
Would I be singing this song to someone else instead?
I dunno but like you just said - something changed.
I wrote this song two hours before we met
I didn't know your name or what you looked like yet
I could have stayed at home and gone to bed.
I could have gone to see a film instead.
You might have changed your mind and seen a friend
Life could have been every different but then something changed
Do you believe that there's someone up above?
And does he have a time-table directing acts of love?
Why did I write this song on that one day?
Why did you touch my hand and softly say
"Stop asking questions that don't matter anyway.
Just give us a kiss to celebrate here today - something changed"
When we woke up that morning,
we had no way of knowing that in a matter of hours
we'd changed the way we were going.
Where would I be now if we never met?
Would I be singing this song to someone else instead?
I dunno but like you just said - something changed.
Saturday, January 05, 2002
Intestinal movement detected today! Swift action taken to tackle the problem. Clearance. Celebration!
My lessons on Monday and Tuesday are packed. So I have to stay back on Fridays to prepare for them. Darn.
Want to enlarge your photos? Try colour-photycopy enlarging! Can enlarge up to A3 size. Then you can laminate the print-out. It looks as clear as a photograph and it so huge! Much more worth it than doing a large re-print from your negatives. Cost is $6 for colour-photocopying and enlarging. $4.50 for laminating. Pretty cool...
CCA Orientation tomorrow. Will be in school until 6pm or by the time we all pack up and go home, 7pm?! First Saturday of the year...burnt!
We are going vegetarian for one week, next week!
My lessons on Monday and Tuesday are packed. So I have to stay back on Fridays to prepare for them. Darn.
Want to enlarge your photos? Try colour-photycopy enlarging! Can enlarge up to A3 size. Then you can laminate the print-out. It looks as clear as a photograph and it so huge! Much more worth it than doing a large re-print from your negatives. Cost is $6 for colour-photocopying and enlarging. $4.50 for laminating. Pretty cool...
CCA Orientation tomorrow. Will be in school until 6pm or by the time we all pack up and go home, 7pm?! First Saturday of the year...burnt!
We are going vegetarian for one week, next week!
Thursday, January 03, 2002
Gave a free-writing exercise to the class yesterday. MT titled hers "Regret" and she talked about the things she regretted to have done last year. She and her Sec 4 boyfriend got into trouble with the school authorities and also the police last year regarding their relationship. Told me that they are not together anymore. What shocked me was that she said she is now seeing this ex-student of mine. He is of questionable character and is involved in gangs. I am very worried for her. I wanted to write her a letter in reply and I knew that it would be a long long letter because I certainly have alot to say to her. I did not get the chance to sit down and write to her. Will try to do so tomorrow. Am toying with the idea of having a chat with her instead, but then again, where to find the time to talk?
Most girls are searching for their identity when they are at the age of 14, thereabouts. At this point in time, its either they choose the correct group of friends and the correct attitude, or they just step n the wrong path and they begin to go downhill as they move up to sec 3 and 4. I've been thinking about the girls in 2E3 and 2E4. Even though I am not their form teacher, I have been with them enough periods a week in the whole of last year to know them pretty well. Can see who are the OK ones and who are on the brink of making that wrong decision. Thought of having a chat with all the girls after school in the 2E3 classroom regarding this. Must catch hold of them!
hmm....since school started, I have
(1) had at least 2 coffees in a day
(2) not eaten anything in school
(3) been working non-stop
(4) had sore throat ( I think it is becoming permanent)
(5) been constipating (!)
wonder why for the last one....intestines resting...?
Most girls are searching for their identity when they are at the age of 14, thereabouts. At this point in time, its either they choose the correct group of friends and the correct attitude, or they just step n the wrong path and they begin to go downhill as they move up to sec 3 and 4. I've been thinking about the girls in 2E3 and 2E4. Even though I am not their form teacher, I have been with them enough periods a week in the whole of last year to know them pretty well. Can see who are the OK ones and who are on the brink of making that wrong decision. Thought of having a chat with all the girls after school in the 2E3 classroom regarding this. Must catch hold of them!
hmm....since school started, I have
(1) had at least 2 coffees in a day
(2) not eaten anything in school
(3) been working non-stop
(4) had sore throat ( I think it is becoming permanent)
(5) been constipating (!)
wonder why for the last one....intestines resting...?
Wednesday, January 02, 2002
Tuesday, January 01, 2002
Witnessed the beautiful lights of red signal flashes against the night sky and the sound of the foghorns from shops far out at east coast on the first minute of 2002 today....it was soooo enchanting and so beautiful...a sight I never seen before and a sight never to be missed in future.
School tomorrow....*sigh*....got mixed feelings. One one hand I feel happy and energised and enthusiastic to begin school, but on the other hand, that feeling of having to work and waking up at 5:30am is not exactly very appealing....
Whats worse, I won't get to see him tomorrow.
ok school! Here I come!!
School tomorrow....*sigh*....got mixed feelings. One one hand I feel happy and energised and enthusiastic to begin school, but on the other hand, that feeling of having to work and waking up at 5:30am is not exactly very appealing....
Whats worse, I won't get to see him tomorrow.
ok school! Here I come!!
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