It's quality, not quantity.
It's togetherness, yet individualistic.
It's opening, not bottling.
Friday, July 18, 2003
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
I had a great time tonight.
We went back to his place after work so that he could take a shower. Devoured 2 durians before we went out for dinner. Had a hard time searching through the Makan Sutra that we bought and deciding where to eat. Finally, we chucked the Sutra aside and decided to go to Cafe211 at Holland V for dinner. Too bad we could not sit in the al fresco area as the sky was threatening to rain. But we managed to get a seat in the sheltered area outside for my coffee after dinner. I learnt that it takes this certain fixed amount of seconds, after you see lightning flash across the sky, for the thunder to be heard. It comes in "sixes", as in, 6 seconds, 16 seconds, 26 seconds, etc. We sat there and counted the seconds till we heard the thunder roll after the lightning. IT was almost accurate! Now that's cool man...
After dinner we went downstairs and he bought his usual magazine. We went for a drive and drove all the way to MacRitchie reservior where we saw one of the most beautiful full moons against a picturesque foreground of trees. It was romantic...but we did not saty long cos we were parked in a one-way lane and had to go off after one car drove in as well. Nevertheless, it was beautiful.
We drove into Caldecott Hill after that. Actually, we were just driving around the private estate there and we were looking at the huge bungalows there. There was this one particular one that really made my jaw drop. It was someone's house but it looked more like some country club. The high roman pillars and the driveway, the balcony and those ceiling fans, the carefully maintained garden with the articifial waterfall and pond...it was really breathtaking. We just sat in our car and stared in awe at the majesty of the house. My god ,what do these people do for a living to earn that kind of money to afford that kind of house?? Not that we're envious or jealous or what...we're realistic and we know what we can and cannot afford. But it's just quite nice to daydream and fantasize about these houses. Hehe...
I was so sleepy after that and he told me to take a nap while he drove me home. Then I woke up and we were on the top of Bt Batok Hill (decided to name that place that). He just sat there and let me nap...it was very sweet of him and I felt very comfy and safe. Then at about 11pm, he drove me home...
I had such a great time tonight...
We went back to his place after work so that he could take a shower. Devoured 2 durians before we went out for dinner. Had a hard time searching through the Makan Sutra that we bought and deciding where to eat. Finally, we chucked the Sutra aside and decided to go to Cafe211 at Holland V for dinner. Too bad we could not sit in the al fresco area as the sky was threatening to rain. But we managed to get a seat in the sheltered area outside for my coffee after dinner. I learnt that it takes this certain fixed amount of seconds, after you see lightning flash across the sky, for the thunder to be heard. It comes in "sixes", as in, 6 seconds, 16 seconds, 26 seconds, etc. We sat there and counted the seconds till we heard the thunder roll after the lightning. IT was almost accurate! Now that's cool man...
After dinner we went downstairs and he bought his usual magazine. We went for a drive and drove all the way to MacRitchie reservior where we saw one of the most beautiful full moons against a picturesque foreground of trees. It was romantic...but we did not saty long cos we were parked in a one-way lane and had to go off after one car drove in as well. Nevertheless, it was beautiful.
We drove into Caldecott Hill after that. Actually, we were just driving around the private estate there and we were looking at the huge bungalows there. There was this one particular one that really made my jaw drop. It was someone's house but it looked more like some country club. The high roman pillars and the driveway, the balcony and those ceiling fans, the carefully maintained garden with the articifial waterfall and pond...it was really breathtaking. We just sat in our car and stared in awe at the majesty of the house. My god ,what do these people do for a living to earn that kind of money to afford that kind of house?? Not that we're envious or jealous or what...we're realistic and we know what we can and cannot afford. But it's just quite nice to daydream and fantasize about these houses. Hehe...
I was so sleepy after that and he told me to take a nap while he drove me home. Then I woke up and we were on the top of Bt Batok Hill (decided to name that place that). He just sat there and let me nap...it was very sweet of him and I felt very comfy and safe. Then at about 11pm, he drove me home...
I had such a great time tonight...
Friday, July 11, 2003
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Bad things are happening in school now. Bad bad things regarding the staff. I feel very sad. It's an emotionally draining day...mentally draining too... I spoke to 2 parents and 3 students separately and there was just so much counselling to do. So much listening and so much counselling. And I am at the same time rather affected by what I learnt about some of my students. I see some of them in need to guidance and assistance and they are so lost in their growing up that its coming out all wrong for them. I believe I can help if I get to talk to her but right this moment, she's not even coming to school, not going home. I just feel so sad that such a bright girl is so affected by her problems that she is doing this to herself. She really has no one to turn to.
I don't claim myself to be the teacher with the biggest ears or the widest embrace, but whenever my students need help, I try my best to make sure I am there. I feel sad when I see them so lost.
It will be a hectic day tomorrow. Really hectic. I don't look forward to school...
I spent $70 buying coloured pens and chocolates for my form class. I pepped talk them today about their results, which were not good at all. They were rather affected. I guess they needed to see how serious it was and how badly they performed as a class to realise that they needed to pull up their socks this semester. Anyway, will be giving out the pen together with the report book tomorrow. The top 10 in class will get the chocolates. After the scolding...must give some encouragement. I thought I writing a little note for them, drawing a little card or something...but I think I don't have that kind of energy tonight...so, just the pens will do...
I don't claim myself to be the teacher with the biggest ears or the widest embrace, but whenever my students need help, I try my best to make sure I am there. I feel sad when I see them so lost.
It will be a hectic day tomorrow. Really hectic. I don't look forward to school...
I spent $70 buying coloured pens and chocolates for my form class. I pepped talk them today about their results, which were not good at all. They were rather affected. I guess they needed to see how serious it was and how badly they performed as a class to realise that they needed to pull up their socks this semester. Anyway, will be giving out the pen together with the report book tomorrow. The top 10 in class will get the chocolates. After the scolding...must give some encouragement. I thought I writing a little note for them, drawing a little card or something...but I think I don't have that kind of energy tonight...so, just the pens will do...
We saw T3 today. Not impressive. Nothing new nor different from the past 2 episodes. The machines "die" in almost the same ways! Would have liked to see a battle between man and machines or something, but it was still the same plot. Mercury Woman (not man, cos T2 was Mercury Man) runs after John Conner to kill him, Arnie the corny machine saves the day although he is (as always) the 286 compared to the Mercury's Pentium4.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
We overslept last night! We were supposed to take that quick nap, and then wake up at 11:30pm so that I could go home. When he woke me up in the middle of the night, it was already 2:45am. Nevertheless, he sent me home because it's a school day today (how we wished it was still the hols).
The rehearsal at VCH just now was good. I think the morale of the band has gone up because they sounded good in the concert hall. The rehearsal at NYP was no where near how we played today. The money (for booking the hall for 2 hours, which is about $536) was well-spent! Not only did we gain the experience of playing at the hall, our confidence was boosted and everyone went home happy. Now we're all praying hard and keeping our fingers crossed real tightly for the SYF. Honestly, I think the band is a bronze. If we're lucky and play exceptionally well on the competition day, we could even hit a silver! But I'm not counting the chickens till they hatch....not going to stress the band up just for the award and stuff.
It's normal school day tomorrow, although we only dismissed the kids at about 10:45pm from the school gate. I had to sit and wait till the last students' parents came to fetch her home. And that was about 11:00pm. Surprisingly, I don't feel so tired now. Not even the least bit sleepy! But I think I will go to bed early cos he will be coming to pick me up to go to work tomorrow morning.
He finished his last hyperbaric treatment at the NDU today. The little ulcer/blister/sinus actually responded to the treatment and it healed! The strangest thing was, about 2 weeks ago, a small black piece of surgery thread actually came out of that sinus! It was amazing! It must have been this little dislodged thread that was causing all the pus and making it impossible for the wound to heal. Well, now that it is out, the wound actually closed up and right now, there isn't any more open blister at all! The skin has grown over the wound and it's healing well, though its still quite tender. This is SO wonderful!! No more putting of the gauze on the wound, no more worries about whether it's safe to swim or not, no more worries about whether it will get any worse, or whether it was a more serious infection or whatever. It's healed!
The rehearsal at VCH just now was good. I think the morale of the band has gone up because they sounded good in the concert hall. The rehearsal at NYP was no where near how we played today. The money (for booking the hall for 2 hours, which is about $536) was well-spent! Not only did we gain the experience of playing at the hall, our confidence was boosted and everyone went home happy. Now we're all praying hard and keeping our fingers crossed real tightly for the SYF. Honestly, I think the band is a bronze. If we're lucky and play exceptionally well on the competition day, we could even hit a silver! But I'm not counting the chickens till they hatch....not going to stress the band up just for the award and stuff.
It's normal school day tomorrow, although we only dismissed the kids at about 10:45pm from the school gate. I had to sit and wait till the last students' parents came to fetch her home. And that was about 11:00pm. Surprisingly, I don't feel so tired now. Not even the least bit sleepy! But I think I will go to bed early cos he will be coming to pick me up to go to work tomorrow morning.
He finished his last hyperbaric treatment at the NDU today. The little ulcer/blister/sinus actually responded to the treatment and it healed! The strangest thing was, about 2 weeks ago, a small black piece of surgery thread actually came out of that sinus! It was amazing! It must have been this little dislodged thread that was causing all the pus and making it impossible for the wound to heal. Well, now that it is out, the wound actually closed up and right now, there isn't any more open blister at all! The skin has grown over the wound and it's healing well, though its still quite tender. This is SO wonderful!! No more putting of the gauze on the wound, no more worries about whether it's safe to swim or not, no more worries about whether it will get any worse, or whether it was a more serious infection or whatever. It's healed!
Monday, July 07, 2003
It's Youth Day today and its supposed to be a school holiday. But I am still going to school because I have band practice from 8am till 10am. The SYF competition is coming and we simply cannot afford to miss any practice anymore.
I can't believe I am working on a holiday! But then again, I will be able to do alot of the things that I did not get to do over the holidays...
I can't believe I am working on a holiday! But then again, I will be able to do alot of the things that I did not get to do over the holidays...
Life comes to a standstill when you do not have any certainty about the future. Do we feel more comfortable knowing what's going to happen tomorrow? Or will life be more exciting if we lived it just for today and not bother about tomorrow? Plans. I think we can live life on the edge and not be bothered about what will happen tomorrow, but we cannot do without making plans. You can't just decide to spend every single cent today in the name of "living for the day" and not care nor plan about what you will need for tomorrow, can you? The uncertainty lies in the unexpected twist of things happening. It doesn't lie in not making any plans on purpose.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
I have so much to say but I don't know where to begin. Will it be a good thing to record it all down here or should we just let time help our memory of it fade away? After all, it wasn't something pleasant that I want to remember about. I guess I'll just talk about my feelings here.
It's an uneasy feeling and definitely one that does not feel good. I hate to feel this way. There are so many things I do not understand. Is it a "Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars" issue? I tried to control myself but I could not do so last night. I couldn't be natural if I was bothered. I can't act and go against my true feelings. At times like these, I suddenly find that whatever I say comes out wrong and words can be mistaken easily. It was difficult trying to search for the correct phrases to truely convey my thoughts, because all the wild questions and "petty thoughts" were going through my mind like crazy. It was almost a feat to be able to control my mind and let it be calm.
We talked about things for hours last night. We both got emotional about it too. He promised that he will remember everything that we talked about last night. We agreed that what we had was special and neither one of us want to let it go at all. A small matter like this won't tear us apart. Basically because it's still a small matter at the current stage. I think, on one hand I may be oversensitive about it all, but on the other hand, if things continued the way they were going, the issue would become one that will be so great that we, our relationship, would be terribly wounded from it. Was it the right thing to do to nip it in the bud? I certainly think so.
I'm not prepared to go through the whole thing about "Let it go and if it comes back it's truely yours" That's bullshit. I've been there before and I know its all bullshit. You let it go and it runs wild. Who's hurt? You. Who's waiting? You. Who's remaining faithful and hopeful? You. Who really cares about the relationship? You. And then there will be a point on time you will realise that while the other party is out in the field having a ball, you're still sitting in your little nest waiting hopefully for him to fly back. You will realise, "Why wait when you have wings to fly too?". This little story stretched over one year for me in 2000. Now that I know how the story should end, I'll probably just go straight to the end if it ever has to happen. Isn't that the most logical thing to do, anyway?
I was touched last night. We realised how important we are to each other.
It's an uneasy feeling and definitely one that does not feel good. I hate to feel this way. There are so many things I do not understand. Is it a "Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars" issue? I tried to control myself but I could not do so last night. I couldn't be natural if I was bothered. I can't act and go against my true feelings. At times like these, I suddenly find that whatever I say comes out wrong and words can be mistaken easily. It was difficult trying to search for the correct phrases to truely convey my thoughts, because all the wild questions and "petty thoughts" were going through my mind like crazy. It was almost a feat to be able to control my mind and let it be calm.
We talked about things for hours last night. We both got emotional about it too. He promised that he will remember everything that we talked about last night. We agreed that what we had was special and neither one of us want to let it go at all. A small matter like this won't tear us apart. Basically because it's still a small matter at the current stage. I think, on one hand I may be oversensitive about it all, but on the other hand, if things continued the way they were going, the issue would become one that will be so great that we, our relationship, would be terribly wounded from it. Was it the right thing to do to nip it in the bud? I certainly think so.
I'm not prepared to go through the whole thing about "Let it go and if it comes back it's truely yours" That's bullshit. I've been there before and I know its all bullshit. You let it go and it runs wild. Who's hurt? You. Who's waiting? You. Who's remaining faithful and hopeful? You. Who really cares about the relationship? You. And then there will be a point on time you will realise that while the other party is out in the field having a ball, you're still sitting in your little nest waiting hopefully for him to fly back. You will realise, "Why wait when you have wings to fly too?". This little story stretched over one year for me in 2000. Now that I know how the story should end, I'll probably just go straight to the end if it ever has to happen. Isn't that the most logical thing to do, anyway?
I was touched last night. We realised how important we are to each other.
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