I am not sure what I am pissed about now. Upon some reflection, I think he must have thought I would be supportive of the idea, since I love cats. But I have always felt that our house was not suitable for cats. I think I am mad because he simply went ahead with the decision to take in the kitten without consulting Mum and I. Well, he did consult me - through email, and I replied just a while ago. Then when he came home just now, voila!, the kitten was in the box.

This isn't the first time he has done something without consideration for the other beings who live in this same house. I am sick and tired of it.

He doesn't have the money to support a cat. It's a 6 to 10 year commitment (probably even more) when it comes to cats! I am sure it did not cross his mind at all when he brought the kitten home. By the way, its an ordinary stray kitten. The grey-with-black-stripes type that you can find everywhere. Though this kitten has got quite a remarkable background which I decline to explain any further in here.

I was so mad with him just now. Then when I walked past the dining area, I saw his shirt draped over the chair carelessly and that really made me even more angry. I went up, picked up the stinking sweaty shirt with my thumb and forefinger, and I swiftly dropped it onto the floor. I dont' give a shit.

Our living room furniture is already stained with hints of his odour (after he spent many nights "camping" out on the couch instead of sleeping in his room) and mind you, we've washed those cushion covers regularly. It's just that he will always wrap himself around the whole couch, whether or not he has bathed, and fall asleep on it. Urgh!!

Mum saw me dropping the shirt onto the floor. I just did it and I walked back into my room and closed the door. I felt guilty for doing it because I know that it must have upset her a little, but I really could not be bothered to pick up the shirt for that fellow. I hardly show my unhappiness at home in such hostile ways and tonight is one of those very rare times that she got to witness how hostile I can be. For that, I feel guilty.

But I'm still mad at him! For not considering mum and I and for simply insisting on his ways. For that, I can't bring myself to be friendly and cuddly to the kitten. It's not the kitten's fault, I know, but I also know that the minute I show affection to it, the minute he would think that he will be able to keep the cat. And the minute I show attention to the kitten, the minute I will fall in love with it and I will also find it hard to let go.

I must stay away. I will have to close my room door before I go out tomorrow. I have to protect my hamsters from being terrorized by the kitten.

He bought me so many gifts for Christmas! I got a Diesel Watch, a necklace, earrings and a bracelet from Perlini's from him. Was so excited when I opened each gift last night.

All I got him was a bottle of Armani Mania.

It's so easy to get gifts for girls isn't it? I have to crack my brains over what gifts to buy for him.

I found out that I will not be following 3e3 up to 4e3 next year to be their form teacher. I will be transferred over to 4e4 instead - for admin-constraints reasons. My students are going to be really upset. Personally, I don't really see any big dealm in the sense, I will see them the same amount of time. But I will not be handling their parents or their reports anymore. That's about it. But what I will really miss will be the things we will do together as a class. *sigh* I will miss them. The energy in 4e4 is so different from 4e3. Seriously, I will definitely prefer to follow my class up and be with them for 2 years. But it seems things are not possible. They will probably not like the 2 teachers put in for them. But they will get used to it, I believe. Audrey was lamenting away about the class t-shirt that they wanted to make and that they wanted to have my name on it and all that stuff. It's very sweet of them, but to be objective, it does not matter.

Still, I will miss them greatly.

It's Christmas and we're at home sleeping away. I tried to book for some movie tickets online but it seems like there are hundreds of others who are doing the same thing. What a chore...what a bore...

Decided not to book any tickets. We probably will not be allocated to the better seats anyway. I think we'll try to make our way down to the cinemas to try our luck instead.

Man, I'm so bored.

Mum has been going to this Traditional Javanese Massage Hut for massages to improve her shoulder. It seems to be working, though slowly. At least she gets a relaxing time there. I'm thinking of going for it myself, but I always seems to procrastinate when it comes to pampering myself. It's not cheap anyway.

Our new year resolution : to watch our diet and to exercise more. We've been eating anything we fancy and we don't count the calories nor the carbo content of what we consume. The result of it, big tummies. Both him and I. Furthermore, we don;'t exercise regularly. So for 2004, we resolve to take care of this aspect of our lives. Not to mention, to start saving money and not over-spend on the unnecessary.

I will be getting me "Connect Plan" payout at the end of next year. Its the money that they reward teachers for staying in the profession for a certain period of time. I have been teaching for 6 years now. It's amazing how much I've learnt in these 6 years and how quickly time flies. Well, I believe this Connect Plan promises something >$5K? Can't wait. I depend on these little bonuses to speed up my savings.

It's so difficult to save money. What I mean is, the rate at which your savings grows is really slow. Even if you diligently put aside a thousand a month. It's slow man.

We were in Bintan from 19 Dec to 22 Dec. It rained from 19th to 21st! I was so disappointed as I was looking forward to getting a tan from this trip. Anyway, there was a little bit of sun on Monday and I took the opportunity to sit out on the deck chairs to bake myself. I fell asleep in the cool sea breeze and I forgot to turn around. Now I am "half-cooked". Front of me is all burnt, my back is perfectly fine.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the trip because of the beautiful beach and the buggy drives that I did.

I'm so bored I could just sit here and blog away the entire afternoon!

It was almost as if somebody had died. They were just so quiet that I really wondered if they were listening to me at all. Juliana was crying away, so was Dee. Ben looked sullen and Nicholas looked pissed. The rest...I can't explain.

I'm at my wits end. I am not sure what sort of strategy would work on these bunch of kids anymore. I've tried both hard and soft approach. I pep talked them, scolded them, threatened them, tried to made them understand...almost everything. It just does not seem to be working. They have their own cliques among themselves, to begin with, and that makes it difficult for the section to gel together. They have a ring leader, but this ring leader has an attitude problem.

I am lost. The leaders were at a lost too. I had to tell them to perservere on and not to give up. I had to tell them that they were already doing a great job and that they were not lousy leaders just based on one section of the band. The whole band looked so sullen and gloomy when I dismissed them just now. Then Libin and Andrew nearly got into a fight and they were shouting at each other. I had to talk to Libin and then I talked the Andrew. Then I talked to the percussion section.

I did so much talking tonight! I scolded, advised, encouraged, chided, pleaded...everything.

I'm so exhuasted. Physically and mentally. They drain heaps of my energy.

We brought the kids all the way to Kota Rainforest Resort to have the camp and it was a smashing success!! I am glad we did it. I am glad we took the option of taking them across that shaking bridge to have the campfire over at the campfire pit. Using the carpark would have been so very different. I lost my voice after the campfire due to the singing. Despite the loudhailer, I still had to raise my volume and I think I strained my voice too much. But it's worth it.

My brother just informed me that he managed to find a buyer for his car. I am very happy for him and I hope he will really sell it off. Expenses are just too high with this car. Hope that he will manged his finances better this time round and that he will not think of buying another car. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Kelvin just passed away this morning at 9:30am. I just found out. I feel very sad. Although I do not know him very well, the few times that we met up togther were enough for me to know him abit better.

He was so enthusiatic about volunteering for our camps. He wanted to do so much. He was enthusiastic about setting up the Amputee Club. He was enthusiastic about climbing mountains.

I don't know if he finally managed to complete that trekking trip that he talked about. I can't remember the last time we met him. We're not close friends. Maybe just acquaintances. But our acquaintance was sincere.

I hope he did not suffer too much. I pray and hope that he left with little pain.

Kelvin, Rest In Peace. We will always remember you.