President's Charity 2002 was ok. The Istana is beautiful at night. So very romantic.

I got to know 2 other persons from tonights reception. We arrived at the same time at the gate and took the shuttle bus into the Istana grounds together. A girl and a guy. We hit off very well and were chatting and hanging around each other the whole time. It was fun. What a small small world it was, they were from the same sec school and college (but did not know each other till now). We took photos and I will be waiting for them to email me...

Darling going for the operation tomorrow. I hope stumpy feels better after the op.

Happy Teachers' Day man!!

I was at the bus intercahnge last week and I came across this old lady who was selling packet tissue there. She was sitting on the floor and everytime the crowd watlked over from the MRT station, she would raise her voice and say "tissue paper" in Hokkien.

I thought to myself, why not get some tissue from her and just give her $5? After all, the $5 would not mean much to me but I could be a decent dinner for her.

So I went forward and took $5 from my purse. She was selling the tissues at $1 for a whole strip of 12 packets of tissue. I asked for one and she packed it into a bag for me. I gave her the $5 note and told her to keep the change. She insisted that she gave me my change. I tried to tell her it was ok but she insisted and she fumbled through her little purse to get $4 to return to me. There and then, while trying to insist that she took the money, I came to a realisation.

She is earning a decent living. She does not want pity or charity. She has her pride.

The whole episode made me reflect on my actions. Why had I assumed in the beginning that I would be doing her a service by giving her extra money? True, she did look old and frail and pitiful sitting there but she has her pride too. She was not begging. She was trying to sell tissue paper to people like me who need or want tissue.

I am so sleepy.

We met Delwen at Bugis Junction today. She was on her way to meet her friends. We always meet her huh? hehe ....we're fated to meet....

I bought some farewell gifts for my trainee teacher and a checkered shirt from Arthur Yen for myself.

So sleepy now.

We actually learned the Fun Dance today during contact time. Imagine, 70 teachers standing up from their seats in the theatrette, watching a video of instructions on the steps for Fun Dance. It's for Aces Day, which is some major workout session with the entire school after teacher's day celebration on Friday. I was standing at the back laughing at those in front who were making mistakes, going the wrong direction and looking absobloominglutely ridiculous. Of course, I did not subject myself to that level of stupidity to join in the steps. And of course, I logged the 25 minutes into my training for this year. Cool.

I'm in a CRAZED mood. Fishing CRAZED.

Kill me. Just kill me.

Apparently my super long-ago homepage at pacnet is still visited by people once in a blue moon! Some guy emailed me saying that he was surfing around the icq sites and came across my homepage. Then he emailed me, hoping that we could be friends or something. He gave me his homepage, which I will share with darling -- apparently this guy is the founder of some famous blues band in Singapore and he's a Blues fanatic. Want to befriend some musicians?

We were at Jazz@Southbridge last night with M and AW. It was a great night as the music was fantastic. I think we are building up our contacts with the people at Jazz. Listening to them last night was great fun. You should have seen the way Louis works at the drumset. Pretty strenous for an old man his age...

Just wrote a very long email to Wanteng telling her about the latest events in school. Wrote a shorter email to Audrey before that, conplaining about almost the same things.

I still have one stack of marking here next to me. I can just die now.

Watched "Practical Magic" on TV just now. Was watching the first part of it at his place, and then rushed home during the commercial break (because the show ends at 12am and I didn't want to be walking home at that time) I like that show. I loved watching all the women's long hair. Its long, almost till their waist. I want to have long hair like that. It'll take ma another year I think, to get hair that long, but I will wait! I think we must try out such things once in our lives. If I don't have such long hair now, I will not have the chance next time. I don't think a woman in her 30s or 40s should have such long hair...unless it suits her. Otherwise, people are going to say you're a ghost or a wannabe-young.

What shall I wear to school tomorrow? I hate to think about this. I have to wear something that is "approved". Shit. Not that I want to be a racist, but hey you want me to wear a head scarf or not huh? Dammit...

Back to marking first....darn....Monday blues...

21 August was my dad's birthday. We used to celebrate it together when were young. We would buy a cake, make some tea, put on some good oldies on the cassette and my father would set his video camera on the stand and let it run and film down our little celebration at the dining table at home. We would sing him his birthday song and then he would blow the candles and cut the cake. Then we would give him our presents and kiss him on the cheek too. Then he would open the presents one by one. My mum would cut the cake and we would eat the cake and drink tea together. Of course, during all these, we (esp my brother) would be busy playing around and doing "things" (cant remember what though).

I have the recorded tapes somewhere....but I think they're mouldy....

What a long day! I have so much to say...

To begin with, the day started off bad. I was urgently called into the boss's office in the morning at about 7:45am.
Boss (as if scolding a primary school kid): I told you that morning assembly is very important! Were you there just now? I did not see you.
Me : I was there. I was standing next to 2E1. One of my girls was ill and I took her aside after pledge-taking.
Boss : You were there?
Me : Yes
Boss (realising that I had done nothing wrong) : Ok. I want to speak to you about a few things. Firstly, let me tell you very frankly, your attire is not appropriate. What you're wearing today is not appropriate. Now I'm telling you on a one-to-one frank manner and I hope you will do something about it. There is nothing wrong with your work but its these things that will affect your ranking later. Do you understand?
Me : (knodded)
Boss : The next thing is, why haven't you spoken to me about KC?
Me : (surprised)
Boss : You have not come to me to tell me if he is performing well as a conductor. Have you accessed him and do you want him to continue being the conductor of your band? If so, you need to discuss about his contract and how much you want to pay him, by hour or bu month. This contract has to be drawn up before the year-end.
Me : (knodded) (the contract was done the end of last year and it lasts till end of 2003. What the fish is he talking about?)

I don't feel like blogging that conversation anymore. So negative.

Anyway, I am feeling better now. Had a great dinner with Jen, Min and Qing. Dim Sum on a conveyour belt. Sounds interesting huh? Yeah. Do try it. It's not very good foor, but try it anyway. Just for fun. It's at Bugis Junction.

I still have TONS of marking. Just kill me. Please?

I can't find the instrument register 2002 that I created a month ago! ARGH! All the hard work! I don't know where it is. Can just die...

Have a meeting with some other teachers from Swiss Cottage Sec tomorrow afternoon. I have absolutely no idea what is involved. I foresee that the meeting will take quite long. Its for some cluster competition on innovative lessons that tap on the multiple intelligences......what again???

Everyone in school's going "Mohhhle....Moley Moley....mmmmmmmoooooohhhhhhhLLLLLeee" Austin Powers. Very Shagadelic baby....

We had a great time last night. It has been some time since I drank till I was high. The feeling is just great. Things were extra funny and everyone had so much fun together. Elgin made arrangements for some of us to send those who were more drunk home. We had to send Benson home.

Had strange dreams last night.

School tomorrow. YUCK. I still have a great deal of marking yet to be completed!

Just kill me, will ya? Just kill me...

I am dead fat.

I cleared the fridge of some expired material just now. There was an entire bag of goodies from Lush that my sister got a long time ago. All the interesting soaps anf scrubs that are made from fresh ingredients that had to be kept in the fridge. I threw away those that were expired and kept the rest...

I cannot send emails out. Something's wrong with my computer.

Enough rest. I need enough rest. I also need to exercise. The school gym is just there but its such a hassle to have to walk all the way to the toilet to change, and then go to the office to get the key, and then exercise, and then return the key, and then walk all the way to the toilet to change again. I mean, it sounds simple but it really is a hassle. I won't bother to explain why it really is a hassle. It just is.

I'm trying to stop feeding myself. It's hard when your stomach is growling and on the verge of lapsing into serious gastric. You just can't ignore it, can you? But I'm not about to allow myself to balloon back to that roly-poly figure I used to possess. Not that I am slim now or what, but hey, those who've known me for some time, you would know the kind of achievements I have made.

I was just thinking, what if I don't have any, or if I lose all the commitment that I have at work? What if I can't motivate myself to do anything anymore? That would be sad wouldn't it? I mean, the obvious answer would be to quit the job and search for something else to do but that in itself is another problem. What can I do with one cheap Arts degree?

i feel better after i focused on doing other things. (like reading other more recent blogs)

Aren't I silly?

Better go sleep now. I have a STRONG urge to go on MC tomorrow because I have some duty on in the noon that I dread. Argh....the battle of good and evil in my mind. But hey, if I take MC, I can focus and complete all my marking and even complete the CD covers for my students. Besides, I'm only teaching 2 periods tomorrow. But then, I'm observing her lesson tomorrow.

shucks....honestly, I don't feel too good. I had the urge to step into the clinic when I was walking home in the evening. I was having a bad headache and I wanted to complain about my work to the doctor. I don't know how else to let her know that I am stressed at work. My brain is close to explosion.

ok bedtime. night.

I got jealous while reading his old blogs. "It's illogical", my logical mind told me. Jealous of who? Of what? I know its incoherent and silly, even pointless. But still, that's how I felt. Insanely jealous.

I can't believe myself.

But still, arghhhhhhhh...............*super green*

I recieved an invitation for a tribute reception for volunteers with President SR Nathan on 29 August at the Istana. I was nominated by AWWA TeachMe Services. Was quite surprised to recieve the invitation. I suppose it sounds grand, to be invited for a reception with Mr President himself. But I think it's going to be just a simple social fuction where you go and smile at a whole bunch of strangers, take some finger food and then fade into the background after 5 minutes.

Nevertheless, I'm going for it!

The last time I went to the Istana was when I was about 3 or 4 years old. My dad took the whole family there for a picnic when the grounds were opened for a day at that time. He took many slides of us. Yes, slides. I have a slide projector at home. Maybe I should take it out to dust it and then put on the whole slideshow for him to watch.
Err...him as in my boyfriend. Not my father.

Anyway, the Istana...yeah....it will bring back memories....

I have not been eating more than usual, but I I've been feeling very bloated lately.

We met at Al Azhar for a late dinner after his lesson. Coincidently, Eric, Elgin and his girlfriend turned up at Al Azhar too. Had some food together and arranged to go drinking on Saturday night. It's been some time since I drank till I was high. I like that feeling.

I over-ate today. I feel terrible.

Forgot to mention, he bought Earthworm Jim for me!! I was so amused and so happy that I couldn't stop laughing and giggling when I saw the game. I'm surprised he remembered...hehe....

I have managed to play till Stage 3 : What The Heck? It's not easy ok...

I have succesfully scanned in about a 1000+ photographs of my band. Completed the bulk of it today. I am trying to digitize all the photographs as an archive that the band can keep. I'm going to burn them onto CDs for the graduating members.

I am having cramps. I am in pain.

We are going to catch Austin Powers at 7:30pm later at west mall. Groovy Baby Yeah!!!!!!!

I kinda like this new look here...

I put the archives back in because I want to read them and I don't know how else to get access except through here. It's good to look back upon the past and refresh your memory on what you did, and to reflect and literally see how much you've grown and maybe even changed.

I'm in the mood to reminisce....(correct spelling?)

We went to Clifford Pier to catch the fireworks tonight. Got quite a sensational view from where we were but the duration of the fireworks was a disappointment. I got reminded of the flares that we saw on New Year's Day at East Coast Park. Amidst the smell of our BBQ food, the distant music from other picnickers, the cool breeze from the sea, the sound of the waves and the blaring of the foghorns, the bright red flares were a sight to behold. We will do it again on 31 Dec 2002!

He's going for that surgery to remove that bleeding "blister" on Stumpy. (That's the name we've given to his stump). I hope I will be able to be there on that day. I might have to work. But I will try by hook or by crook!

Lets not waste our time talking about the past. It's past anyway. I want to look ahead, be progressive and not regressive.

At 2:30am this morning, I recieved this rom Wanteng :
Thank you for your friendship! I am very glad our paths have crossed. All of you are my first colleagues since I started work and you have made it memorable! Bye and take care!

I only read the message this morning when I woke up. Then it dawned on me that she was probably getting ready to go to the airport at that time. It made me even sadder. I can't even come close to describing why I feel this sadness in me. I don't even realise it myself that of all my friends, WT has one of the most beautiful hearts. She's someone I can share my problems with and she listens with an open heart and and open mind. She has given me advice on how I can handle my work better and all that. She was also there when my previous relationship was on the rocks. I just hope that she will be happy over in Texas and that she will cope well.

I was at work till 8:45pm today. I was the last teacher to leave the school. It was kind of spooky in the staffroom, so I turned on the radio loud wnough to drown the silence. Managed to get quite a few things done. Tomorrow is another battle. I have to do lots of printing...of exam and common test papers.

I'm so tired. M and S both got MCs for stress. How do I approach the docter to tell him I'm stressed at work?