zzzzzz.....so sleepy....
We bought a filter for the yabby's tank and had dinner at 279. Went home, showered, and we were so tired we took a nap. I set the alarm on my handphone to go off but apparently I set it a 9:45am. Blur me...luckily we woke up at about 11pm. As usual, he had to "force" me to get up and to go home. At times like these, my mind and body don't cooperate together.
Observed interesting yabby behaviour today. It was trying to gather all the little pebbles in the tank and it pushed all the pebbles in front of the tin can. I guess it was building a fence for its home. It's like watching discovery channel "live".
By the way, for those not well-versed in the faculty of aquatic life, a yabby is a fresh water cray fish. It looks like a mini lobster, just nice to fit on your palm. Its a omivorous but we try to feed it with food that is tinted red or orange (like carrots or tomatoes) so that its shell colour will be beautiful. I learnt all that from him :-)
Was pretty bitchy at work today. Students pissed me off. I think its PMS. I could tell myself that I was bitchy and that I am normally not like that. I think its PMS. Damn...
O Level results out today. Glad that all my students did ok for it. At least they all are able to continue their studies in some tertiary institution or in some college. These are my first batch of graduated students. I taught them when they were in Sec 2. Man....I've been teaching that long?!?
Mayshyen's last day today. I was telling Jay...I wonder what the feeling is like to leave this place and NOT have to come back anymore.....
hey baby...I'm missing you...even though I was with you only about an hour ago...
Thursday, February 28, 2002
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
Back from camp. I'm surprisingly not tired at the moment...going to unpack and then take a quick shower and then have a nap...
The camp? I tell you, I absolutely cannot stand those pampered lot of campers. Maybe they're still Sec 2, still young. They're so bloody childish!! Really gets on my nerves. They come running to me, "Ms N, Ms N, can I go and change? My T-shirt is muddy", "Eek! I don't want to go there because very scary.." One boy asked for his handphones (which were all kept with me) as he wanted to call his mother. I lent him mine to call. He spoke to his mother and he wanted her bring him a plastic mug because he forgot to do so. I couldn't believe my ears! Another "resourceful" girl got her mother to send her sleeping bag down to the camp without us knowing. Imagine our surprise when we saw her parents driving into the campsite. That quickly turned into shock and disbelief when we saw her mother passing her the sleeping bag through the car window. Can you imagine?!?!? urgh....not to mention the "fear of mud" and the "fear of getting hot and sweaty." I have never seen campers this childish and this pampered before. Even my Happy Friends' Club kids are better campers than these!
ok...going to do my stuff now...I missed him so much during the camp....meeting him later!! yay!!!
The camp? I tell you, I absolutely cannot stand those pampered lot of campers. Maybe they're still Sec 2, still young. They're so bloody childish!! Really gets on my nerves. They come running to me, "Ms N, Ms N, can I go and change? My T-shirt is muddy", "Eek! I don't want to go there because very scary.." One boy asked for his handphones (which were all kept with me) as he wanted to call his mother. I lent him mine to call. He spoke to his mother and he wanted her bring him a plastic mug because he forgot to do so. I couldn't believe my ears! Another "resourceful" girl got her mother to send her sleeping bag down to the camp without us knowing. Imagine our surprise when we saw her parents driving into the campsite. That quickly turned into shock and disbelief when we saw her mother passing her the sleeping bag through the car window. Can you imagine?!?!? urgh....not to mention the "fear of mud" and the "fear of getting hot and sweaty." I have never seen campers this childish and this pampered before. Even my Happy Friends' Club kids are better campers than these!
ok...going to do my stuff now...I missed him so much during the camp....meeting him later!! yay!!!
Monday, February 25, 2002
Sunday, February 24, 2002
Got to go pack my bags for camping tomorrow. Bringing my students out for a concert tonight and I'm meeting them at the school gate at 5:30pm.
Jen, Min, Qing, when are we meeting up at Qing's place? I've got camp till Wednesday. Email and I'll check my mails on Wednesday night...if not, message me ok?
Here's how I do my packing for camps. I sit down and write out a list of things to bring and I think from head to toe about the things that I will need from Day 1 to last day. My list is very detailed. From number of pieces of underwear to contact lens solution and all that. Then I go about getting all these things and place them on the couch in my room. Then I take out my bag and pack those items in.
Pretty anal huh? I'm a systematic freako.
Got to go....till wednesday....adios.
Jen, Min, Qing, when are we meeting up at Qing's place? I've got camp till Wednesday. Email and I'll check my mails on Wednesday night...if not, message me ok?
Here's how I do my packing for camps. I sit down and write out a list of things to bring and I think from head to toe about the things that I will need from Day 1 to last day. My list is very detailed. From number of pieces of underwear to contact lens solution and all that. Then I go about getting all these things and place them on the couch in my room. Then I take out my bag and pack those items in.
Pretty anal huh? I'm a systematic freako.
Got to go....till wednesday....adios.
Friday, February 22, 2002
I'm having the problem again. Its been recurring. I don't know why. I thought I was cured. What's going on? What's the trigger? I'm so worried. On the verge of taking MC tomorrow. But when I think of the things that I have to get done in school tomorrow, I know that I cannot be on MC tomorrow. It's a hectic day. Too many things to do that cannot be done on Monday because I will be away at camp. I will not have peace of mind. I'm constantly bothered by it. I don't know what to do in the meantime. I feel so stressed up by so many things. Only feel stress when I think of those things but the worry is killing me. I'm scared. Very scared.
Feeling blue now. Not sure why. Couple of reasons I guess. Work stress is one thing. I think about the work I was supposed to have done that will have to be shelved till tomorrow, plus the work that has to be done tomorrow, really sends shivers down my spine. I can imagine tomorrow to be a hectic run-around-all the-time day. What's more, I'm the organizer for Mayshyen's farewell party in school tomorrow. We are ordering Pizza and we're going to don party hats and really celebrate for her.
Then comes the little money ordeal I had earlier this evening with him over the phone. The uncertainty of the entire situation and my not being able to control it is getting to me. I like to be in full control of all my personal matters. I am not right now and I feel very off-balanced. Just when I was almsot ready to stand up on my own again, this has to come along to disturb my balance. *sigh*
I'm worried about my health.
I will see Dr. Tay tomorrow. Get a peace of mind. Get my throat cured. It's my ricebowl. No voice = no teach = no job = no money = no life.
Then comes the little money ordeal I had earlier this evening with him over the phone. The uncertainty of the entire situation and my not being able to control it is getting to me. I like to be in full control of all my personal matters. I am not right now and I feel very off-balanced. Just when I was almsot ready to stand up on my own again, this has to come along to disturb my balance. *sigh*
I'm worried about my health.
I will see Dr. Tay tomorrow. Get a peace of mind. Get my throat cured. It's my ricebowl. No voice = no teach = no job = no money = no life.
It's 1am. I was supposed to get some work done at home but I ended up not doing anything. Surfed the websites that Sam forwarded to us regarding some health issues. I need to learn more about my body. I guess you come to a time in your life you are suddenly aware that your body needs to be taken care of. Health is not just about not falling ill.
I bought a gifts for Siti and for Mayshyen. Siti's (my trainee teacher) last day is Friday (today in fact). I bought her a mug and a cheerful flower that I'm going to put into it. got her a little card as well. Mayshyen will be leaving the teaching profession on 28 February 2002. We both got into this school together with Kuna. She's the first among the 3 of us to leave. She's going to further her studies in Australia. I'm happy for her. I wish I had the financial ability to leave this job and also to study abroad and get an experience. It's not impossible but the longer you stay in this line, the harder it is to leave because of several reasons. Getting another job that pays as well is one of the reasons. I'm not saying that teachers are paid very well. Our pay is mediocre as compared to our peers in the private or business sector. But if we were to leave the profession, it will not be easy to find a job that will match your current pay, given the kind of work experience you had. Teaching isn't considered as relevant experience for many jobs.
Anyhow, I'm happy for Mayshyen. Happy that she is pursueing her dreams, fulfiling it.
I am losing my voice. It cracked today as I was teaching Maths in class halfway. From then on, it has been rather hoarse. I can tell the symptoms. I am losing my voice. On average, I lose my voice abour twice a year (for the past 2 years) Occupational hazard. Definitely.
I bought a gifts for Siti and for Mayshyen. Siti's (my trainee teacher) last day is Friday (today in fact). I bought her a mug and a cheerful flower that I'm going to put into it. got her a little card as well. Mayshyen will be leaving the teaching profession on 28 February 2002. We both got into this school together with Kuna. She's the first among the 3 of us to leave. She's going to further her studies in Australia. I'm happy for her. I wish I had the financial ability to leave this job and also to study abroad and get an experience. It's not impossible but the longer you stay in this line, the harder it is to leave because of several reasons. Getting another job that pays as well is one of the reasons. I'm not saying that teachers are paid very well. Our pay is mediocre as compared to our peers in the private or business sector. But if we were to leave the profession, it will not be easy to find a job that will match your current pay, given the kind of work experience you had. Teaching isn't considered as relevant experience for many jobs.
Anyhow, I'm happy for Mayshyen. Happy that she is pursueing her dreams, fulfiling it.
I am losing my voice. It cracked today as I was teaching Maths in class halfway. From then on, it has been rather hoarse. I can tell the symptoms. I am losing my voice. On average, I lose my voice abour twice a year (for the past 2 years) Occupational hazard. Definitely.
Thursday, February 21, 2002
What an ass I am. I don't pity him anymore. I have learnt my lesson. I want my money back. But I am afraid that if I were to give any deadlines to him, there will not be any way that he can pay either. Unless of course I approach his mother or his family member. The way things were going over the phone just now, I sense that he was pissed off and I was pissed off too and I know that I get confused and lost when I'm pissed. I lose rationality. Honestly, I want to make the settlement as amicable as possible but he short-fused for nothing and I got angry at him for giving himself the right to be angry.
I hate to have to ask for money. I really hate it. Even if its my money and I have every right. I hate it. Why is it so difficult? Why can't I be like other girls who can just easily call up their ex-bf's mother to ask for the money back?
I cannot wait to settle the whole thing. I want to wash him out of my life completely. Here I am desperately trying to clear my bills and there he is not treating this as top priority. Min, Jen and Qing, you were so right. Its not his priority to pay back these loans. I called one of the banks to clarify certain issues and found out that there was no transactions made in the entire of 2001. But the outstanding balance is still very near to the credit limit. He has only be paying off the interest! He emailed saying that he tried to get loans to pay off these 2 accounts but were not successful, and that he will keep trying so that he can pay me back. He's still using those old methods! Leopard never changes its spots! He still has not learnt his "lesson"? Loan after loan after loan....a whole life of debt...he can lead his life anyway he wants but I want to be free. I don't want to have anything to do with him or with debts anymore...
Had the strong urge to throw away everything that he gave me. They're all stashed away in the top-shelf of my cupboard, behind my clothes. I figured it would be too troublesome and I would be wasting my time.
I hate to have to ask for money. I really hate it. Even if its my money and I have every right. I hate it. Why is it so difficult? Why can't I be like other girls who can just easily call up their ex-bf's mother to ask for the money back?
I cannot wait to settle the whole thing. I want to wash him out of my life completely. Here I am desperately trying to clear my bills and there he is not treating this as top priority. Min, Jen and Qing, you were so right. Its not his priority to pay back these loans. I called one of the banks to clarify certain issues and found out that there was no transactions made in the entire of 2001. But the outstanding balance is still very near to the credit limit. He has only be paying off the interest! He emailed saying that he tried to get loans to pay off these 2 accounts but were not successful, and that he will keep trying so that he can pay me back. He's still using those old methods! Leopard never changes its spots! He still has not learnt his "lesson"? Loan after loan after loan....a whole life of debt...he can lead his life anyway he wants but I want to be free. I don't want to have anything to do with him or with debts anymore...
Had the strong urge to throw away everything that he gave me. They're all stashed away in the top-shelf of my cupboard, behind my clothes. I figured it would be too troublesome and I would be wasting my time.
Kok Yan got into trouble again. I was told today that he is barred from coming back to school and to the band for any purposes at all. Apparently he stole again. I was so disappointed when Mr Neo, our Operations Manager, told me about this. So disappointed I almost felt like I could cry. For the first time in my entire teaching career, I really felt so disappointed at my student. I felt as if he was my son or my brother or whatever, and that all my efforts in counselling him, teaching him and helping him had gone down the drain.
Damn urinary tract infection. This time, I'm glad I nipped the bud and managed to take care of it by gushing my system with water. Good thing it worked as it was only in the very initial stages when I discovered it. I guess all teachers face a higher risk of problems like this and also problems like constipation. Yeah. You'll be surprised how these little procedures we all take for granted are actually heavily neglected by the general teaching population. Take me for example, lessons begin at 7:30am and they stretch all the way till 12:35pm with only a half-hour break in between. This half hour break isn't even enough for me to put my things down, drink water, handle problem students, prepare materials for lessons after the break, steal colleague's cookies, etc etc. If I have any pee at all, if its not a pressing problem, I would ignore it and continue with the more important things to handle. The toilet is across the corridor (at least 50m away) and the next nearest is in the next block. That doesn't help the problem at all.
So you see, I do have constipation problems and this urinary tract infection problem sometimes. Occupational hazard, I suppose?
So you see, I do have constipation problems and this urinary tract infection problem sometimes. Occupational hazard, I suppose?
Wednesday, February 20, 2002
Just finished one whole pack of Ribena in one breathe. The packet with the screw-cap top. Did you know that if you do that (drink it in one breathe) you can actually suck it throughout like a straw? If you don't do it in one breathe, you'll have to tilt it over and let gravity help you for subsequent sips. Yup. A piece of useless information for you.
So we passed the 20:02 20/02 2002 bit just now. Didn't even notice it. Well, its no big deal to me. Only "regret" is that I forgot to tell my Normal Tech. maths students...I guess it'll be interesting to them? Come to think of it, why is that particular moment so special? I mean, people talk about it as if its something special....did it occur to you that every single moment of our lives is something that will never be repeated again in our lifetime as well? It just occurred to me.
So we passed the 20:02 20/02 2002 bit just now. Didn't even notice it. Well, its no big deal to me. Only "regret" is that I forgot to tell my Normal Tech. maths students...I guess it'll be interesting to them? Come to think of it, why is that particular moment so special? I mean, people talk about it as if its something special....did it occur to you that every single moment of our lives is something that will never be repeated again in our lifetime as well? It just occurred to me.
Tuesday, February 19, 2002
Spent the whole day at work today. I did so many things. Feel very accomplished.
I'm going for the sec 2 leadership camp next week from Monday to Wednesday. It's going to be Jalan Bahtera (next to Camp Christine). There's so much to prepare before the camp! I will be missing lessons and so I have to plan extra worksheets for all my classes so the the relief teacher knows what to do with the students.
Ok enough about school stuff. Find it boring? Imagine I have to actually go through it...you guys are just reading it...
I'm going for the sec 2 leadership camp next week from Monday to Wednesday. It's going to be Jalan Bahtera (next to Camp Christine). There's so much to prepare before the camp! I will be missing lessons and so I have to plan extra worksheets for all my classes so the the relief teacher knows what to do with the students.
Ok enough about school stuff. Find it boring? Imagine I have to actually go through it...you guys are just reading it...
Ivlong called me today and we caught up a little with each other. Found out from him that my gym membership is transferable! I can legally pass it on to someone else! I suppose I will have to make my way down to the gym with the person to transfer the membership. Not too sure about the procedures but knowing California, there will surely be a "handling fee" etc etc involved. I don't care man...as long as I can get it off me!
I did some basic calculations. If a new member were to join the gym now for 32 months (until 14 Oct 2004), he/she would have to pay $4012. Usually the gym would give a half price to them and so they'd be able to get it at $2006. I can transfer mine to him/her at only $1782. Negotiable of course.
Wow my blog has turned into an advertisement! Anyway, Ivlong might be interested in getting it from me but no promises because he's not so sure if he will be in Singapore till 2004. So if there's anyone who's interested in getting gym membership, do help me get in touch with that person, or if YOU, my dear reader, are interested, email me!!
I did some basic calculations. If a new member were to join the gym now for 32 months (until 14 Oct 2004), he/she would have to pay $4012. Usually the gym would give a half price to them and so they'd be able to get it at $2006. I can transfer mine to him/her at only $1782. Negotiable of course.
Wow my blog has turned into an advertisement! Anyway, Ivlong might be interested in getting it from me but no promises because he's not so sure if he will be in Singapore till 2004. So if there's anyone who's interested in getting gym membership, do help me get in touch with that person, or if YOU, my dear reader, are interested, email me!!
Monday, February 18, 2002
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When you're close to me, I can feel your heatbeat, I can hear you breathing in my ear.
Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Anytime you want to, you can turn me on to anything you want to, anytime time at all. When I kiss your lips i start to shiver, can't control the quivering inside. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When I'm in your arms nothing seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Anytime you want to, you can turn me on to anything you want to, anytime time at all. When I kiss your lips i start to shiver, can't control the quivering inside. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When I'm in your arms nothing seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When you're close to me, I can feel your heatbeat, I can hear you breathing in my ear.
Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Anytime you want to, you can turn me on to anything you want to, anytime time at all. When I kiss your lips i start to shiver, can't control the quivering inside. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When I'm in your arms nothing seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
Anytime you want to, you can turn me on to anything you want to, anytime time at all. When I kiss your lips i start to shiver, can't control the quivering inside. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do is take a look at you then I'm not so blue. When I'm in your arms nothing seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care. Wouldn't you agree baby you and me got a groovy kind of love.
I'm not asleep yet. It's going to 4am and I'm not asleep yet. I've got work tomorow and I'm not asleep yet.
Just showered to freshen up. Sometimes coffee has absolutely no effect on me but sometimes it keeps me up for hours. Tonight's one of those nights. I am amazingly wide awake.
We're going to return his ex-gf's things to her on Tuesday. I'm going to help him carry one of the two bags of stuff to her place but I'm going to stay out of sight when he's returning them to her. I hate to face such sitations. It's one of those times where I just feel this totally uncomfortable feeling in me. Basically its jealousy and insecurity. I don't want to see her because right now, all I have is a faceless figure in my mind whenever I think about her or whenever we talk about her. I don't want that faceless image to take form because it will stay imprinted in my mind forever. (Just like how I can still remember how Ken's ex-gf looks like)
Sometimes I cannot believe how terribly insecure I can feel about myself. I hate to do it but I do compare and I know that she's physically better than I am. Yes, I know that if I want to compare, I should also explore the areas where I am "better" but its not that easy.
Then I started to suspect if the reason why he doesn't want her to see me was because I'm as attractive as her and he didn't want to be embarrassed. I know. I know its my insecurities and I know how ridiculous it sounds but that thought did come across my mind.
What happen to the confidence that I built in myself over the past year? Being with Ken did little for my self-confidence when I found out about him (although I never saw those girls) When I was on my own in the past 1 to 2 years, I suppose I slowly built up the confidence in me. It helped when there were guys who showed interest, though I wasn't interested in those guys.
So Ms N, you do have your own line of admirers, so what are you still so insecure about?
Stop being so imaginative. Just think, 1 year down the road, will this still bother you as much? It will be nothing at all, isn't it? I got to learn to let go of my fears. Help me darling.
Just showered to freshen up. Sometimes coffee has absolutely no effect on me but sometimes it keeps me up for hours. Tonight's one of those nights. I am amazingly wide awake.
We're going to return his ex-gf's things to her on Tuesday. I'm going to help him carry one of the two bags of stuff to her place but I'm going to stay out of sight when he's returning them to her. I hate to face such sitations. It's one of those times where I just feel this totally uncomfortable feeling in me. Basically its jealousy and insecurity. I don't want to see her because right now, all I have is a faceless figure in my mind whenever I think about her or whenever we talk about her. I don't want that faceless image to take form because it will stay imprinted in my mind forever. (Just like how I can still remember how Ken's ex-gf looks like)
Sometimes I cannot believe how terribly insecure I can feel about myself. I hate to do it but I do compare and I know that she's physically better than I am. Yes, I know that if I want to compare, I should also explore the areas where I am "better" but its not that easy.
Then I started to suspect if the reason why he doesn't want her to see me was because I'm as attractive as her and he didn't want to be embarrassed. I know. I know its my insecurities and I know how ridiculous it sounds but that thought did come across my mind.
What happen to the confidence that I built in myself over the past year? Being with Ken did little for my self-confidence when I found out about him (although I never saw those girls) When I was on my own in the past 1 to 2 years, I suppose I slowly built up the confidence in me. It helped when there were guys who showed interest, though I wasn't interested in those guys.
So Ms N, you do have your own line of admirers, so what are you still so insecure about?
Stop being so imaginative. Just think, 1 year down the road, will this still bother you as much? It will be nothing at all, isn't it? I got to learn to let go of my fears. Help me darling.
Sheesh...tried to be an early (and kiasu) bird by doing my e-filing early, only to realise that e-filing is only available from Feb 22 onwards. So much for being early huh? I used to do my e-filing super last minute -- I would do a frantic phone-file on the exact deadline. So I'm trying to be a better citizen this year. Qing, what kind of cash prizes can I win by filing early? I hope I get tax rebates...?! hehe
So many days passed and I actually have lots to blog just that I have not had the energy. So I'm online now and hoping that I can blog whatever I want to blog before going for my shower and then hopefully I will have some extra energy from my refreshing shower to do some marking.
Valentine's Day. Our first one together. We had a real simple "celebration". Just sipped on a bottle of good white wine at his place. We bought the wine from Cold Storage at Holland Village a few days before and we bought our wine glasses from Tom & Stephanie at West Mall. Gifts? We did not get any for each other. He gave me a card with a very sweet message in it. The kind that will melt your heart. The kind that will make you go "Awwww....." if you were to be watching the whole thing at the movies. To me, everyday has been Valentine's Day.
So many days passed and I actually have lots to blog just that I have not had the energy. So I'm online now and hoping that I can blog whatever I want to blog before going for my shower and then hopefully I will have some extra energy from my refreshing shower to do some marking.
Valentine's Day. Our first one together. We had a real simple "celebration". Just sipped on a bottle of good white wine at his place. We bought the wine from Cold Storage at Holland Village a few days before and we bought our wine glasses from Tom & Stephanie at West Mall. Gifts? We did not get any for each other. He gave me a card with a very sweet message in it. The kind that will melt your heart. The kind that will make you go "Awwww....." if you were to be watching the whole thing at the movies. To me, everyday has been Valentine's Day.
Friday, February 15, 2002
I just edited my spreadsheet of the monthly credit card bills that I have to pay. In a way its fun because I feel empowered and in control of my financial expenditures in that sense. I have a clear idea of what to expect in the months to come and how much I will be putting into payment for these cards. In fact, I have to edit this spreadsheet monthly whenever I recieve my bills as the interest charged has to be reflected accurately in my spreadsheet. At the moment, its all on a forecasted basis. I am intending to use my bonuses this year to clear the bills as far as possible. I'm excited about the performance bonus that I should be getting in April. Then there's also the July quarter-month bonus and also the year-end bonus. All calculated on a humble one-month bonus only. I'm also excited about my yearly pay increment that should be due this July. All these means I will have more cash flowing in and it also means I can pay off my bills earlier.
I have to thank him for helping me to be so disciplined by encouraging me to clear the bills asap and to save money as far as possible. From the looks of it now, taking into consideration the bonuses that I expect to get this year, I should be able to clear my credit card bills by January 2003. That is SO much better than the forecast that I did about 4 months ago.
I have learnt my lesson about over-spending. Sometimes, I wonder what exactly is the lesson I have learnt. Whether is it over-spending or being too "lenient" in using my cards to help pay for another person. Whatever the case, I'm definitely more careful with my expenditures now. I don't mind not having any luxuries for a year. No tours, no trips, no new clothes, no new shoes...just simplicity in life.
I just don't want to have anymore debts. That's all.
I have to thank him for helping me to be so disciplined by encouraging me to clear the bills asap and to save money as far as possible. From the looks of it now, taking into consideration the bonuses that I expect to get this year, I should be able to clear my credit card bills by January 2003. That is SO much better than the forecast that I did about 4 months ago.
I have learnt my lesson about over-spending. Sometimes, I wonder what exactly is the lesson I have learnt. Whether is it over-spending or being too "lenient" in using my cards to help pay for another person. Whatever the case, I'm definitely more careful with my expenditures now. I don't mind not having any luxuries for a year. No tours, no trips, no new clothes, no new shoes...just simplicity in life.
I just don't want to have anymore debts. That's all.
Thursday, February 14, 2002
He was supposed to come to my place for Chinese New year today but plans were changed instead. Still, I'm looking forward to the day he comes over to my place.
Chinese New Year becomes mundane when we pass a certain age. I already have relatives telling me things like "Don't need to give you any angpow next year, huh?" And all I can do is to smile and say "Nope! I will still be collecting from you whatever the case!" What?! You expect me to get married in one year's time?! That'll have to be a shot-gun style if I have to get married in one year's time ok, thank you very much! Anyway, its the time of the year where we get to see relatives that we only see once in a year and we "wow" at how tall their children have grown and how cute their kids are and how are they doing and how much weight they have put on and so on. But still, I do feel that certain bonding that we have as relatives. (Actually I'm talking about this bunch of cousins that I have that are all much older than me and they all have their own families now.)
I woke up at 1pm today. And I'm actually sleepy now. Am I really tired or am I just plain lazy?! Listening to Emma Shaplin now. Opera music in a totally foriegn language but nevertheless, still good.
Tomoroow is Valentine's Day. I have nothing planned! Oops....but this doesn't mean that I don't love him and he' not important to me. Its the opposite, in fact. He's so important to me and I love him so much. We have already bought our wine and we intend to have a romantic evening together at home.
Chinese New Year becomes mundane when we pass a certain age. I already have relatives telling me things like "Don't need to give you any angpow next year, huh?" And all I can do is to smile and say "Nope! I will still be collecting from you whatever the case!" What?! You expect me to get married in one year's time?! That'll have to be a shot-gun style if I have to get married in one year's time ok, thank you very much! Anyway, its the time of the year where we get to see relatives that we only see once in a year and we "wow" at how tall their children have grown and how cute their kids are and how are they doing and how much weight they have put on and so on. But still, I do feel that certain bonding that we have as relatives. (Actually I'm talking about this bunch of cousins that I have that are all much older than me and they all have their own families now.)
I woke up at 1pm today. And I'm actually sleepy now. Am I really tired or am I just plain lazy?! Listening to Emma Shaplin now. Opera music in a totally foriegn language but nevertheless, still good.
Tomoroow is Valentine's Day. I have nothing planned! Oops....but this doesn't mean that I don't love him and he' not important to me. Its the opposite, in fact. He's so important to me and I love him so much. We have already bought our wine and we intend to have a romantic evening together at home.
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
We went to Zouk last night! I was getting bored at my aunt's place after a few unlucky rounds of mahjong that caused me to lose $7 (*heart pain*). What was worse was that my brother said his friends were coming over to my place to gamble. I wasn't looking forward to having my privacy invaded at home by a bunch of smoking, drinking and gambling guys so I messaged dear to ask if he wanted to meet up. So I met him and Jeffrey at Zouk!
It's been some time since I went clubbing and last night was indeed quite fun. I didn't used to appreciate Zouk music but I I like it now. I think we all go through phases like that. Liking a certain type of music at a certain point of time in our lives. I used to only go to pubs that played retro. Now I'm tired of those few retro songs.
Danced with dear last night. It's been a year since he went to zouk. One of our few encounters before we got together was at zouk. At that time, I was upset about my previous relationship and had gulped down a few glasses of red wine. I sat outside zouk and was feeling very high when he messaged me. After a few messages, I realised he was actually sitting next to me. He sent me home in a cab that night but had to take that same cab back to zouk cos he forgot to take his bag from the baggage counter.
Those are one of the memories that we share....
It's been some time since I went clubbing and last night was indeed quite fun. I didn't used to appreciate Zouk music but I I like it now. I think we all go through phases like that. Liking a certain type of music at a certain point of time in our lives. I used to only go to pubs that played retro. Now I'm tired of those few retro songs.
Danced with dear last night. It's been a year since he went to zouk. One of our few encounters before we got together was at zouk. At that time, I was upset about my previous relationship and had gulped down a few glasses of red wine. I sat outside zouk and was feeling very high when he messaged me. After a few messages, I realised he was actually sitting next to me. He sent me home in a cab that night but had to take that same cab back to zouk cos he forgot to take his bag from the baggage counter.
Those are one of the memories that we share....
Monday, February 11, 2002
We went for coffee and karaoke with his secondary school friends last night. It was very fun. I think its always fun when you have one big group of guys together. No offense to females but I think that group gatherings are always more fun when there are more guys around. Let's put it this way, one big girl-group outing is fun in its own way. In the sense where you can sit and chat for hours about anything at all over cups of coffee. But that's the nature of girls I guess. We are less rowdy, we don't do crazy silly things etc. I suppose girls have this thing about upholding their "image" when in public (or even in the privacy of a ktv room?) But guys are different. Sometimes I think guys are more able to just let go and be silly and have fun wthout worrying about how others see them.
That group of my friends that we went to Altivo with together are a good example. They prefer to sit and talk about life and bitch about people in the office. Most are too concious of themselves to really let go and have fun the super crazy way. Honestly, not very spontaneous people.
I'm not saying one is better than the other. I like a balance of both in my life and I think I'm a lucky girl.
I remember a big group of guys we used to hang out with in college. About 11 of them I think. Namely Leslie and Alvin (twins) Sherwan, Choon Hong and Choon Hiong (twins), Melvin, YaoKun, Eric, Able, Chris and Tian Lun. With us 4 girls, we were a pretty large group. We'd go to Leslie and Alvin's house after school and some would play mahjong and the rest would just chill out. I cannot really remember what we would do together but I remember it was fun because the guys were funny and very crazy. Not too sure of what happened exactly to cause the group to split because I cannot remember the events clearly.
That group of my friends that we went to Altivo with together are a good example. They prefer to sit and talk about life and bitch about people in the office. Most are too concious of themselves to really let go and have fun the super crazy way. Honestly, not very spontaneous people.
I'm not saying one is better than the other. I like a balance of both in my life and I think I'm a lucky girl.
I remember a big group of guys we used to hang out with in college. About 11 of them I think. Namely Leslie and Alvin (twins) Sherwan, Choon Hong and Choon Hiong (twins), Melvin, YaoKun, Eric, Able, Chris and Tian Lun. With us 4 girls, we were a pretty large group. We'd go to Leslie and Alvin's house after school and some would play mahjong and the rest would just chill out. I cannot really remember what we would do together but I remember it was fun because the guys were funny and very crazy. Not too sure of what happened exactly to cause the group to split because I cannot remember the events clearly.
I'm so sleepy now but I will still blog for awhile.
Spent most of my energy reading up about html editing and I managed to draw a line across each blog so that its more reader-friendly. Though I think there aren't many readers, but hey, I'm taking care of you guys who bother to read my blogs. My way of saying thanks I guess. :-) Changed the colours too.
I used to be able to remember the things that I have blogged the day before but now I realise that I cannot remember. Wonder why.
Spent most of my energy reading up about html editing and I managed to draw a line across each blog so that its more reader-friendly. Though I think there aren't many readers, but hey, I'm taking care of you guys who bother to read my blogs. My way of saying thanks I guess. :-) Changed the colours too.
I used to be able to remember the things that I have blogged the day before but now I realise that I cannot remember. Wonder why.
Friday, February 08, 2002
We went back to my old place for dinner tonight. It was so impromptu! We were actually on our way to Ikea to buy our wine bucket and wine glasses but when we got off the train at Commonwealth, we decided to walk in to the hawker centre at Commonwealth Drive for the claypot rice. It was a nostalgic walk along the way. Everything there seemed to be in minature now because I was only a little girl when I lived there and the roads seemed to be so wide and the corridors so spacious then.
Tried to usher in the New Year and boost the New-Year spirit by doing some spring cleaning for the past 2 days. I washed the cushion covers for the 2 couches in the living room. Nearly fell out of the window while hanging them out to dry because the bamboo pole had rot and it was really too heavy for me to take it into the house again. I was frozen at that spot. Had to hang on to the pole for fear that it might snap and send the killer litter downstairs. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was going to die because of my height. Heh...anyway, I huffed and puffed and managed to bring the whole damn thing in in one breathe!
got 'em aching shoulders now....owww.....
Tried to usher in the New Year and boost the New-Year spirit by doing some spring cleaning for the past 2 days. I washed the cushion covers for the 2 couches in the living room. Nearly fell out of the window while hanging them out to dry because the bamboo pole had rot and it was really too heavy for me to take it into the house again. I was frozen at that spot. Had to hang on to the pole for fear that it might snap and send the killer litter downstairs. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was going to die because of my height. Heh...anyway, I huffed and puffed and managed to bring the whole damn thing in in one breathe!
got 'em aching shoulders now....owww.....
Thursday, February 07, 2002
I woke up this morning with puffy eyes. Absolutely swollen! Applied some lotion on my hands last night and I was rubbing both my eyes with both my hands before I went to bed. That's why I had the swollen eyes I guess. Had the evil urge to just get an MC and rest at home but I guess responsiblity drove me to work. Yeah. I can't believe myself sometimes.
Anyway, puffy eyes didn't disappear until evening time. They're back to normal now but my eyelids still feel tight.
Went to SSC with him today but did not swim because of puffy eyes. Accomplished quite alot though...I managed to set 80% of the Maths Common Test (meant to be handed in last monday..!!
Anyway, puffy eyes didn't disappear until evening time. They're back to normal now but my eyelids still feel tight.
Went to SSC with him today but did not swim because of puffy eyes. Accomplished quite alot though...I managed to set 80% of the Maths Common Test (meant to be handed in last monday..!!
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
It's been 2 months and 4 days! It's been an incredible 2 months and 4 days!!
Our life....
blissful. fun. loving. stars. happy. laughter. love. hair gel. blogs. oakleys. dancing. strolls. beads of perspiration. g-shock. swimming. HWA. medication. informatics. further studies. saving money. black pepper crab. butter cereal prawns. durian. joecartoon. jamiroquai. bon jovi. X-Japan. bbq. straw mat. turf city. taxis. east coast park. packing drawers. long chats. walking home. hands. massage. taiwan sausages. stereo pillow. new handphone. "si-you hor fun". photos. neoprint. bintan. coconut trees. wind. sun. sand. sea. waves. mayang sari. mana mana. bintang bir. kelong. tequila shots. orion. giordano shirts. tears. hugs. hush puppies. tan tock seng. novena square. coffee. movie marathon. lord of the rings. raspberry tartlets. hobbit. strength. determination. smiles. kisses. love. blisters. shaving. phantom foot. headache. soy products. doctor. breadtalk. chinatown. lights. christmas. west mall. band concert.
I could go on...but I'm sleepy now....goodnight...
Our life....
blissful. fun. loving. stars. happy. laughter. love. hair gel. blogs. oakleys. dancing. strolls. beads of perspiration. g-shock. swimming. HWA. medication. informatics. further studies. saving money. black pepper crab. butter cereal prawns. durian. joecartoon. jamiroquai. bon jovi. X-Japan. bbq. straw mat. turf city. taxis. east coast park. packing drawers. long chats. walking home. hands. massage. taiwan sausages. stereo pillow. new handphone. "si-you hor fun". photos. neoprint. bintan. coconut trees. wind. sun. sand. sea. waves. mayang sari. mana mana. bintang bir. kelong. tequila shots. orion. giordano shirts. tears. hugs. hush puppies. tan tock seng. novena square. coffee. movie marathon. lord of the rings. raspberry tartlets. hobbit. strength. determination. smiles. kisses. love. blisters. shaving. phantom foot. headache. soy products. doctor. breadtalk. chinatown. lights. christmas. west mall. band concert.
I could go on...but I'm sleepy now....goodnight...
Tuesday, February 05, 2002
Mummy was angry at me last night. The usual complains of me getting home late and not having enough sleep and devastating my own health etc. I was a little apprehensive when I got home last night. She did not look at nor speak to me. I went on doing my usual unpacking and then I approached her in a more subdued manner ( I was feeling a little angry at her myself, initially)
Through these years of so-called growing up (from teenage-hood to adult-hood) I have learnt how to handle my mum. I mean, I've learnt more about her and her temperaments. She's like a string of fireworks. Once she sparks off, she will send herself into a whole series of angry thoughts and she will fire her anger and pump it up more and more. I learnt that I must not deal her anger with my own anger. And worse, I must not deal her anger with submissive silence (which I used to...because my mum can be really scary when she's angry!)
I sat down on her bed with her and the first thing I said was "Ma...don't be so angry lah..." in a calming (and loving) tone. That softened her up, I could tell. We discussed what she was unhappy about and I explained things to her. I told her that my life was dynamic and I was in control. I understood her concern for my lack of sleep and so on but I reminded her that I have not fallen ill due to fatigue in the past years. Basically I told her I was in control and I do take noon naps to compensate for lack of sleep, as and when I do really feel tired.
Will not go into the full detail of the conversation but I do feel good after it. I knew she was still a little angry but I knew that she takes time to cool down. I feel that I have handled it well. In the past, I would really be the submissively quiet one who will creep around the house if I knew she was angry. I suppose sometimes I must push myself to think one step further, as in, hey, I AM and adult and I'm not a totally ignorant person. I have to handle situations as such like an adult and not let her continue thinking that I do not have a mind of my own.
My relationship with her is improving slowly. I feel it. We are closer in a not-everyday-talk-and-chat kind of way but in the sense of communication level. I am opening up to her and showing her who I am in my own way.
Through these years of so-called growing up (from teenage-hood to adult-hood) I have learnt how to handle my mum. I mean, I've learnt more about her and her temperaments. She's like a string of fireworks. Once she sparks off, she will send herself into a whole series of angry thoughts and she will fire her anger and pump it up more and more. I learnt that I must not deal her anger with my own anger. And worse, I must not deal her anger with submissive silence (which I used to...because my mum can be really scary when she's angry!)
I sat down on her bed with her and the first thing I said was "Ma...don't be so angry lah..." in a calming (and loving) tone. That softened her up, I could tell. We discussed what she was unhappy about and I explained things to her. I told her that my life was dynamic and I was in control. I understood her concern for my lack of sleep and so on but I reminded her that I have not fallen ill due to fatigue in the past years. Basically I told her I was in control and I do take noon naps to compensate for lack of sleep, as and when I do really feel tired.
Will not go into the full detail of the conversation but I do feel good after it. I knew she was still a little angry but I knew that she takes time to cool down. I feel that I have handled it well. In the past, I would really be the submissively quiet one who will creep around the house if I knew she was angry. I suppose sometimes I must push myself to think one step further, as in, hey, I AM and adult and I'm not a totally ignorant person. I have to handle situations as such like an adult and not let her continue thinking that I do not have a mind of my own.
My relationship with her is improving slowly. I feel it. We are closer in a not-everyday-talk-and-chat kind of way but in the sense of communication level. I am opening up to her and showing her who I am in my own way.
Hey! I just blogged a whole lot of stuff after the spring cleaning on Sunday night but I must have been too tired then cos I lost it all! It wasn't even posted, not to mention published! I must have been extremely tired (or blur?). I cannot even remember what was it that I blogged.
Dear had his first diving session on Sunday at Outram Secondary School. It was just an exploratory session held specially for disabled people. He's a natural at it! I'm looking forward to our dive trips together with his brother, who has promised to teach him how to dive once he returns from Taiwan. I have yet to meet his brother.
I was observing the dive masters at the pool yesterday. I do not know if they were paid to be there on Sunday or not, but what they did for the participants there was wonderful. I guess many others who dive would have dismissed the idea of ever taking a disabled person for a dive trip. I was pleasantly surprised when I spoke to one of the guys on wheelchairs that he had gone to the open sea for a dive with these dive masters. There are so many more precautions to take when diving with these people, on top of the many safety precautions we already have to take as a diver. These dive masters gave the participants something that they would never have experienced had they (the dive masters) not taken that step to believe in the motive and take action. So many others would have said its impossible.
One thing I learnt that day is this : One of the most important aspects of diving is to be able to communicate with your dive master and your buddy underwater. This is done via certain standard hand signals to indicate "OK", "I'm out of air", "Let's surface", Let's descend" and etc. I learnt on Sunday that even these basic hand signals that we all take for granted is actually a problem for some of the disabled people. New signals have to be improvised to suit the mobility of their hands and fingers.
I learnt not to take things for granted. I suppose it is in these ways that my eyes are being opened wider to my surroundings and I learn to be more sensitive.
Dear had his first diving session on Sunday at Outram Secondary School. It was just an exploratory session held specially for disabled people. He's a natural at it! I'm looking forward to our dive trips together with his brother, who has promised to teach him how to dive once he returns from Taiwan. I have yet to meet his brother.
I was observing the dive masters at the pool yesterday. I do not know if they were paid to be there on Sunday or not, but what they did for the participants there was wonderful. I guess many others who dive would have dismissed the idea of ever taking a disabled person for a dive trip. I was pleasantly surprised when I spoke to one of the guys on wheelchairs that he had gone to the open sea for a dive with these dive masters. There are so many more precautions to take when diving with these people, on top of the many safety precautions we already have to take as a diver. These dive masters gave the participants something that they would never have experienced had they (the dive masters) not taken that step to believe in the motive and take action. So many others would have said its impossible.
One thing I learnt that day is this : One of the most important aspects of diving is to be able to communicate with your dive master and your buddy underwater. This is done via certain standard hand signals to indicate "OK", "I'm out of air", "Let's surface", Let's descend" and etc. I learnt on Sunday that even these basic hand signals that we all take for granted is actually a problem for some of the disabled people. New signals have to be improvised to suit the mobility of their hands and fingers.
I learnt not to take things for granted. I suppose it is in these ways that my eyes are being opened wider to my surroundings and I learn to be more sensitive.
Sunday, February 03, 2002
Just read through the previous blogs. Not so emotionally charged now. So not interested in giving anymore details about the incident. The case is still pending though, but I will take it one step at a time.
Thanks dear for not allowing me to dwell in negativity by not allowing me to talk about work at all. It works!
My fingers are extremely tired now from cleaning up some areas of the house. Threw away at least 20 empty shoes boxes that were lying in the hallway and also got rid of many old and mouldy shoes. Now there's more space to buy more shoes!! heehee....
tired....maybe I will blog later....got to get back to packing and dusting my room...
Thanks dear for not allowing me to dwell in negativity by not allowing me to talk about work at all. It works!
My fingers are extremely tired now from cleaning up some areas of the house. Threw away at least 20 empty shoes boxes that were lying in the hallway and also got rid of many old and mouldy shoes. Now there's more space to buy more shoes!! heehee....
tired....maybe I will blog later....got to get back to packing and dusting my room...
Friday, February 01, 2002
I got it bad yesterday too. From L. A few weeks ago, some of my band students came up to me in desperation as they were being harrassed by their English teacher, L, to join Drama Club. I told the students they need not worry and all they needed to say was that I would not allow them to be transferred over.
I thought that was the end of the story.
Over lunch yesterday, Y told me that L was going to give me a treat. I asked why. Then L said "You have alot of talents in your band..." My first reply was a "My answer is no, I will not release these students." I explained thewhole situation to him and he knodded his head as if he understood. Then he said that he would then go and tell the principal that he cannot get talents and so he cannot set up an item for competition next year. I told him that that was the best and the correct thing to do. I mean, if you are unable to take part in the competition, then you jolly well don't. Stop absconding students from other CCAs and pushing these students into a corner!
I thought that was the end of it.
During band practice, a couple of these students came to me to tell me that they were told that they had no choice and that their names would be submitted to the Principal for them to join the Drama club. I was SO furious!! When I went back to the staffroom, Sam told me that that was exactly what L said he would do during the Drama meeting they had earlier. HOW dishonest can one get?! And to think, this person is a TEACHER. Someone whom the school intends to promote to be an HOD!! Fucking no manners!!!!
So I went to see my Principal to see what his opinion of the entire thing was.
got to blog later....going for contact time now.
Mood : pissed.
I thought that was the end of the story.
Over lunch yesterday, Y told me that L was going to give me a treat. I asked why. Then L said "You have alot of talents in your band..." My first reply was a "My answer is no, I will not release these students." I explained thewhole situation to him and he knodded his head as if he understood. Then he said that he would then go and tell the principal that he cannot get talents and so he cannot set up an item for competition next year. I told him that that was the best and the correct thing to do. I mean, if you are unable to take part in the competition, then you jolly well don't. Stop absconding students from other CCAs and pushing these students into a corner!
I thought that was the end of it.
During band practice, a couple of these students came to me to tell me that they were told that they had no choice and that their names would be submitted to the Principal for them to join the Drama club. I was SO furious!! When I went back to the staffroom, Sam told me that that was exactly what L said he would do during the Drama meeting they had earlier. HOW dishonest can one get?! And to think, this person is a TEACHER. Someone whom the school intends to promote to be an HOD!! Fucking no manners!!!!
So I went to see my Principal to see what his opinion of the entire thing was.
got to blog later....going for contact time now.
Mood : pissed.
Just came back from lunch with Sam, Lin and Cons. Y was very rude to J just now during assembly. I'm so angry for her! He spoke to her in such a loud, rude tone that all the teachers sitting around and all the students sitting nearby could hear it! Apparently he blamed her for her suggestion of handling house practices in this manner as none of the students turned up for house practice yesterday. You see, Jay was made one of the house mistresses this year. They had a meeting and the teachers were consulted as to how the house practices could best be carried out. She gave a suggestion that was approved and Y, as the HOD, was the one who carried out the whole planning. He did not think about the details of the whole programme and when things went wrong, he pushed all the blame on her. He even asked her just now,"What are you going to do about it?" I cannot believe that!! He, as a friggin HOD of the entre PE department, cannot even be smart enough to think of a solution to the problem, and worse, he goes around looking for people to blame and to push the entre responsibility to!!! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!
I have ZERO respect for people like that. ZERO.
I have ZERO respect for people like that. ZERO.
Just sent an email to Sherena telling her we're interested in the diving session at Outram Sec School. Its a one-off session for exploratory purposes. We're going diving!! yippee!!
ok better go before I am late for school...at the moment, I am not exactly dressed and I have a towel wrapped over my head like a turban. In the privacy of my own room of course!
ok better go before I am late for school...at the moment, I am not exactly dressed and I have a towel wrapped over my head like a turban. In the privacy of my own room of course!
Ahhh...my favourite piece being played on 89.3FM now....you should really try it at night, if you love new age music, that is.
I try to blog as frequent as I can. Being able to blog everyday will be ideal but sometimes I'm just so tired and sleepy that I collapse into bed. At other times (like last night), I would log on and then fall asleep on my table with the computer buzzing merrily in front of me.
Had a great time with the gals over dinner and dessert on Tuesday. Told them about my financial problem and they really gave me very good advice. Thanks Jen, Min and Qing! I will take your advice and strive to settle the problem asap.
I was so touched when they told me that they actually read my blogs regularly. I mean, they bother to log in and check and read about my life and my thoughts and my nonsense. Where can I find friends like that?
Before this, I thought he was the only one reading my blogs regularly. :-)
Spoke to dear for a long time over the phone just now.
oops...fell asleep at the peecee again...zzzz
I try to blog as frequent as I can. Being able to blog everyday will be ideal but sometimes I'm just so tired and sleepy that I collapse into bed. At other times (like last night), I would log on and then fall asleep on my table with the computer buzzing merrily in front of me.
Had a great time with the gals over dinner and dessert on Tuesday. Told them about my financial problem and they really gave me very good advice. Thanks Jen, Min and Qing! I will take your advice and strive to settle the problem asap.
I was so touched when they told me that they actually read my blogs regularly. I mean, they bother to log in and check and read about my life and my thoughts and my nonsense. Where can I find friends like that?
Before this, I thought he was the only one reading my blogs regularly. :-)
Spoke to dear for a long time over the phone just now.
oops...fell asleep at the peecee again...zzzz
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