Mummy was angry at me last night. The usual complains of me getting home late and not having enough sleep and devastating my own health etc. I was a little apprehensive when I got home last night. She did not look at nor speak to me. I went on doing my usual unpacking and then I approached her in a more subdued manner ( I was feeling a little angry at her myself, initially)

Through these years of so-called growing up (from teenage-hood to adult-hood) I have learnt how to handle my mum. I mean, I've learnt more about her and her temperaments. She's like a string of fireworks. Once she sparks off, she will send herself into a whole series of angry thoughts and she will fire her anger and pump it up more and more. I learnt that I must not deal her anger with my own anger. And worse, I must not deal her anger with submissive silence (which I used to...because my mum can be really scary when she's angry!)

I sat down on her bed with her and the first thing I said was "Ma...don't be so angry lah..." in a calming (and loving) tone. That softened her up, I could tell. We discussed what she was unhappy about and I explained things to her. I told her that my life was dynamic and I was in control. I understood her concern for my lack of sleep and so on but I reminded her that I have not fallen ill due to fatigue in the past years. Basically I told her I was in control and I do take noon naps to compensate for lack of sleep, as and when I do really feel tired.

Will not go into the full detail of the conversation but I do feel good after it. I knew she was still a little angry but I knew that she takes time to cool down. I feel that I have handled it well. In the past, I would really be the submissively quiet one who will creep around the house if I knew she was angry. I suppose sometimes I must push myself to think one step further, as in, hey, I AM and adult and I'm not a totally ignorant person. I have to handle situations as such like an adult and not let her continue thinking that I do not have a mind of my own.

My relationship with her is improving slowly. I feel it. We are closer in a not-everyday-talk-and-chat kind of way but in the sense of communication level. I am opening up to her and showing her who I am in my own way.