The Beaufort was excellent! We checked in and prepared our BBQ food in the hotel and left them all in the fridge before ee went out for a walk down the hotel staircase that leads to Tanjong Beach. We walked across the bridge to the Southern-most point of the Asian Continent and decided that that would be a good spot for our BBQ. Then, we took the monorail round the island and decided to visit the cheapest attraction on the island - Fort Siloso. ($5 per person only) It was raining but we still went ahead ('cos we already paid, that's why! haha...)

Our BBQ was fantastic. We found a good spot with a shelter, a table and benches, and 3 little (fake) tree stumps. We put out little portable, disposable pit on one of the stumps and sat on the other 2 to BBQ. No hassle! No groundsheets needed! Everything was perfect. The food was delicious, the amount was just enough, the beer tasted SO good with the BBQ food. (Baron's Strong Brew -- good stuff) and we even had sparklers.

I burnt my left index finger while trying to light one of the sparklers. So much for coordination...ouch.

We woke up at about 9:30am for breakfast, thinking that we were the latest people to turn up. But it seems the entire hotel guests slept late! It was full house and we were lucky to manage to get a table......

OOps, I'm late....
Got to go...going out to buy things with R. Things for the first 2 days of school. No time for now....

We saw Lord Of The Rings again just now. Yes, it's that good and we like it that much. :-)

Suddenly the thought of having school to start again next thursday is really scary. Now I know what it means to actually go for a holiday to feel that you have had your holiday before school starts. I seem to have been busy most of this holiday! It's either band stuff, or Happy Friends' Club stuff, or school stuff. Where's my holiday? Where's my break? We will be going to Beaufort to spend Christmas Eve and Day. I hope that somehow I will have that feeling of having a holiday abroad when I'm there.

We're going to do our outdoor picnic thingey at Sertosa on Christmas Eve. It's kind of like a "tradition", since we did the same last year. We went to Giant at Turf City today to get the stuff we need, minus the perishables. We even bought a little cooler box to put our raw food in! It was fun planning for it.

We agreed that being at Turf City made us feel as if we were in Malaysia. Maybe it's the sheer size of the entire mall, maybe its the lack of proper facilities like shelters, taxi stands, wide escalators, ample trolley ramps, or maybe its the lack in numbers in the crowd in comparison to the mall. The whole food mall outside looked like it was going to close down soon. Business looked bad for a place that should be popular.

I bought Diana Krall's "Live In Paris". There is one song in it that I really love -- "Just the way you are". It's so romantic and the lyrics are so meaningful.

Since I went through that bad patch with the previous relationship, I've always wanted to be loved for who I am. I wanted someone to see who I really was inside and to love and appreciate me for all that, the good and the bad. I wanted someone who would not take advantage of my weaknesses nor to use them against me. I had enough of that from the previous experience, in which I was deeply hurt. It took me a long time to get over it and to put it behind me. I told myself that I will not allow another person to make me feel less than I am. I will not allow another to put me down and to take away my self-esteem and self-believe. It took me a long time to collect all the bits back and to piece them together again.

This is partly why this song is so special to me. I have found someone who can see who I really am and who loves me for all that. It's magical. We just came to each other over a cup of coffee and it all started from there. We were honest about ourselves and I fell in love with whom I saw.

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

We caught Lord Of The Rings just now! I am absolutely overwhelmed by the whole movie. It's fantastic. Go watch it quick!! We might catch it a second time with a group of friends this weekend. It's worth it man...

Jeffrey emailed and said he would like to withdraw from the HFC committee. Ian called me this noon to talk about it. He thought that I knew about it beforehand. I did not. Anyway, I would like to know what are his reasons for withdawing. Ian also mentioned that Pam might know some things and that his fear was the big group of volunteers might just go along with Jeff. He asked me to talk to Pam to check out how things were. All these, I do have the intention of doing, even before Ian called.

It just dawned on me that this is a responsibility for me now, since I am supposed to have officially taken over the position from Ian. It's up to me to make those phonecalls and to do such PR things. The thought of having such a big responsibility falling on my shoulders is really quite a scary thought. Ian's phonecall was kind of like a reminder that "Hey, it's your call now. You call the shots, so you got to handle this."

All of a sudden, there's this little conflict in me with the "want to do it" vs the "have to do it". It's a thin line to draw. I suppose with the first one, I still have the choice. I want to do it but if I have no time, then my "wants" change and I won't do it. But if I have to do it, then the whole thing becomes very different. Almost a dread.

I wonder if I am this kind of...well...what do you call it...PR(?) person. Some people love to make phonecalls and chat over the phone, even if it's something serious to discuss about. Personally, I hate making phonecalls. I can chat with you for hours over the phone if you call, but I won't actually sit down and pick up the phone and make a call to anyone just for a chat.

So as much as I hate to make phonecalls, I want to speak to Jeff about his withdrawal from the committee and etc. So, I have to make that phonecall anyway.

Ming Keong's brother, Ming Hui was admitted to NUH A&E on Saturday evening. I got a shock when Ian called me to tell me about it. I am worried and this has been on my mind. My heart would skip a beat if I see Ian's name on my handphone when it rings. I just pray hard and hope that Ming Hui will be fine. He experienced difficulty breathing at home and his mother sent him ot the hospital. At NUH, he had another seizure. I hope he will be strong. In his condition, to give up is simply too easy and if he gives up, it will be difficult for him to will his weak muscles to work for his body.

I try not to think about what can be going on in his mind. To have experienced and seen your own brother pass away from the exact same condition just about 2 weeks ago is already truamatic enough. Ming Hui has always been the stronger of the 2 brothers. He has never had any complications to his condition. This is his first time to experience something like that and to be sent to the hospital. He is under close observation right now. If I have the time later, I will go and visit him. (It's my cousin's wedding lunch today at Shangrila Hotel)

I hope the Tan family will be strong and pull through this together. I really do not know if there can be anything that I can do to help them. I thought of brewing coffee and bringing it to them in a flask. I also thought of buying some snacks for them. My own family has been through such ordeals when we kept close watch over my father in the hospital. Not only does the patient need the encouragement, moral support, love and care, the immediate family is also under alot of stress. Lack of sleep, constant worrying, lack of proper meals and mealtimes...it all leads to fatigue.

I pray hard that they will pull through this together. If anything happens to Ming Hui, it will be another terrible blow to his sister and his parents.

Our own problems are so trivial.

We brought mum to Kinara for dinner tonight. It was a good dinner. I had wanted to take my mum to Kinara for a long time. After dinner, we introduced her to Jazz@Southbridge and we sat there and listened to the music for some time. Louis seemed to be able to recognise her as my mum! I was wondering, do I really resemble my mum so much? I never thought so...anyway, Louis was very sweet and he made us very comfortable and even bought my mum a drink.

Met Alwyn on my way to the ladies. He was shocked that my mum was with me. He thought she was very happening.

Merlin came by later on. She also said my mum was very happening.

Hey man, cool...you must see who her daughter is man....

Jay once said that she could see my purpose in life. She said she saw that I was here to do something for others. Volunteering was in me.

Perhaps it's true. But I do not see volunteering as helping. Volunteering is a duty. It's my duty as a person.

Maybe because of Ming Keong, I explored the possibility of going into special education. Or rather, I am exploring the possibility. I found out that I am not adequately equiped with the skills nor the appropriate credentials to contribute significantly to special eductaion. I need to have studied psychology or something like that. NIE offers training for special education but I don't trust NIE. A good friend of mine advised me recently :

Ian : Do you want to hold a higher role in planning and policy making or do you want to be directly involved with the kids?
me : Directly involved. I don't even see myself being a HOD or any other higher "rank" in teaching, mainly because I want to be directly involved.
Ian : But if you hold a higher role, you call the shots to whether you will be directly involved at the same time. Special education is not currrently well-runned.
me : I suppose, but I do not have any relevant background.
Ian : exactly. You give yourself some time, go and take a masters in the relevant area, and then when you go into it, you can take the bigger roles. People will listen to you.

Hmm...that's a thought....

Anyway, Ian introduced me to the Director of TeachMe services yesterday evening before our meeting with the other volunteers. Our meeting lasted from 7pm to about 10:45pm. But it was a good feeling to have ironed out some issues and to have a certain structure in place. The next meeting is on the 30th.

Following this link and scroll to the bottom of the page to look at the group photo. Ming Keong is the 2nd one from the right. His brother Ming Hui is the 2nd from the left....

I attended the funeral at Singapore Casket this afternoon with Ian, John, Min Jie and Mun Hin. Mok Jia Yong's mother and sister, Jia Min, attended too.

I was very sad. I cannot imagine how much worse his family must be feeling, if I, just a mere volunteer who have only met them on a few occasions, am already feeling the grief and the sense of loss. His mother looked distraught and his dad was trying to hold back his grief. Ming Hui tried to be strong too and he was in fact very strong. I hate to even imagine what might be going on in his mind. When the monk came for the final round of chants, the only person that could stand at the altar to hold the incense was his younger sister, Yoke Min. When the monk told everyone to move forward to take their last look and to pay their last respects, all their relatives huddled beside his casket and wept. His mother broke down, so did his father. And then Ming Hui cried too.

Ming Keong was cremated at Bright Hill Crematorium. His sister did not speak at all from the moment I saw her this morning till the time I left. She just moaned softly and cried. She's only Pri 3.

His father told us that he really enjoyed the Malacca trip and was looking forward to the next trip. His demise was sudden, although the family was aware that this was the final outcome of DMD.

I am glad that we did the Malacca trip. I am glad that the brothers attended our camps. I remember them on their first camp about 5 or 6 years ago at Sembawang Sea Sports Club. Ming Keong was the shy one. Both brothers could not sleep and wanted to sit up on their mattresses. It was their first camp and the first time they slept away from home without their parents and slept out in the open. We even took them on boat rides around the Seletar Islands. I am glad that HFC did this for them.

The reason why I have been and am still in HFC for such a long time is simply because I believe that we made a difference. No matter how small, we made a difference. This alone is my drive to want to stay in the club. The friendships we have fostered with our Happy Friends may not be a close one, but it certainly is a significant one. I have learnt more from these kids than they have from me or from us, for that matter.

I cried today, not because of the emotional scene at the funeral, but because Ming Keong is a friend. Someone whom I see coming back for subsequent camps. Someone I would look forward to meeting for whatever other of our MD camps. Someone I will miss for future camps. I felt the grieve of having to say goodbye to a friend.

Rest In Peace, Ming Keong.

Ah Huay jie jie

Ming Keong passed away on Sunday morning. Ian woke me up with his phonecall and told me.

I cried in the bathroom.

*sigh*.......

The concert is over!! It was good. I was really so very nervous in the beginning because of the excitement of the whole event becoming a reality. Relaxed a lot after the first half. In fact, after the first part of the piece that I was playing with the jazz ensemble. I played the piano for the jazz ensemble. Many of the other teachers who attended the concert did not even know that I could play the piano. Haha. Why should I tell you? So that you can exploit me and ask me to play for school functions? hehe...I'm not that dumb! Hmmm...but then again, NOW they know....hmmm

Anyway, I had a great time. The feeling of the whole completion of the event, the concert, is just GREAT. I look back at the past months of hard work, the rush I had to go through to produce the design of the concert logo, to get the tickets printed out and the frantic search for the perforation of the ticket...and then getting hte band ready, making sure they all ahd their uniformas, getting hte tailor to come down to take the measurements for the kids, getting the programme sheet ready, buying the paper and the string, printing it etc etc.

One word to describe : PHEW!!!!!!!

Guess what, it's 1st December! We have been together for ONE WHOLE YEAR! We have not had any quarrels in this year. Believe it or not, its true. Maybe little tiffs, in fact only one...but NO quarrels. Well, it says something doesn't it?

I love you baby....happy anniversary....*hugs*

Darling had a fever this evening. We visited the doctor and were told that it was unlikely to be caused by the sinus. *phew* The doctor seemed to have contacts with the doctors over at SGH and he could actually make some calls to expedite and bring forward the appointment scheduled on Dec 16! That would be great...

We watched American History X in vcd just now. I believe I watched it a long time ago when I was still rather immature or something. All I can remember was that it was a great movie. After tonight, I think the movie has etched itself deeper in my mind. The racist issues in the movie really hit me and the brutal scenes really gripped me.

Met Alwyn at the market while on the way to withdraw money. Chat for awhile. He has put on so much weight....

Spoke to James for a long time on cars and all today in school. Came home just now and spoke to my brother about the same issues. Just pray hard that nothing goes wrong for him. I think I am resigning myself to having this brother who has this weakness. *sigh*

By the way, we went to Mawai from Nov 2 - 4 for the outdoor camp by Happy Friends Club for all the volunteers. It was great great fun! We played games in the disused pond, went trekking and reached the summit of Gunung Panti, went for a night river cruise to see fireflies, star-gazing and saw so many shooting stars, had a fun campfire, slept in a loghouse that had a roof but no walls....we did so much! It was SO fun!

Darling was the first handicap to reach the summit of Gunung Panti! I am so proud of him. Gunung Panti was actually relatively more difficult to climb than those mountains that I trekked in in Nepal. It was uphill most of the time and at one point, we had to scale a cliff that was 90 degrees to the sea level! In other words, while climbing up that rocky cliff, the next person after you would be directly below you. And we had to use the same path to climb down the mountain. It was exciting, dangerous but very fun too. Imagine the difficulty level for him! He can't really feel with his right "foot" so how is he supposed to know if his "foot" was already resting properly on the rocks before he descends down any further? We could not have done it without the help of our friends. Not to mention having a lack of water supply as we really depleted our water on the way up. We had to settle for brownish water that came from the steam near the summit. The water was certified ok for direct drinking.

The camp commandant took photos of our trip and posted them up in the website. They are here and here.

I listened to him just now and tears just welled up in my eyes. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life, I tend to "forget" that he faces certain things everyday that he has to live with for the rest of his life. Some of these things are beyond any of our comprehension or imagination. I tried to imagine what it was like as he told me just now and it was pretty vividly explained and etched in my mind and I just felt so emotional about it. I wish there was some way in which I could take away all that daily inconveniences and hassle he faces and also put some of those little luxuries that we take for granted back to his life for him.

One simple luxury : standing under the shower with your eyes closed. Ever done that? Try doing that by standing on one foot. How does that feel?

I am drained by my brother. I do not know if what I am doing right now is the right thing to do. By telling him all the consequences of his decisions and asking him to make a choice from there, at the same time knowing very well what his choice will be, I am also telling myself the consequences that I have to face should things turn out bad. What if he gets into an accident? What if he the other party he signed the papers with decides to make things difficult for him? What if he refuses to let go of that car in 2 months' time?

To certain extent, I think he will deserve every bad consequence if any of them were to happen. But I do not know if I will or if I should feel bad because I had the power to put a stop to it right from the beginning. Or do I? I was just talking to mum just now and I realised, as I was telling her, that he could have gotten that car behind our backs if he wanted to. So that would mean that I do not really have the power to stop him, wouldn't it?

I wonder what it would take for him to learn his lesson. When will he ever learn to make wise decisions and to listen to advice? So many people from so many different backgrounds have given him sound advice on what he should do and he has been presented with so many examples of others who have gone through this path and crawled out wounded. Yet he must still insist on taking that path. He is SO typical of the type of person who simple must go through it to know it and just by listening and seeing is not good enough.

Two months. We will wait for 2 months and we shall see how things go. I do not know what will happen in 2 months' time. Of course I hope that he will make it big and earn the money to return to mother. I just cross my fingers that he will learn from this.

It's been such a long long time since I came in here. Got reminded by Jen that I have not update since 10/10. woopsss...

So much has happened in this one month! So many things happened in school. It's a wonder how I survived. Ok, maybe I will blog the significant events down one day, but right now, I need to go shower and then get to school. I have been busy with the coming Happy Friends' Club Camp (its next weekend!!) and my band concert. Will be going to school to zap the campfire songbook and also to print out the volunteer handbook. The volunteer training will be at Pam's house later from 2pm to 6pm and after that the 5 organizers, Jeff, Pam, Jason , HF and myself will be going down to Sembawang Park to recce the place one more time.

Mum flew to Myanmar yesterday morning. She will be back next Friday.

I highlighted my hair!!! It's in streaks of red. And one (relatively) large chunk of my fringe is also reddish. WOW. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel Cheah or Julian Cheah? Who's who?
hehehe.......they're SOOOOO adorable........

Today might just be my nephew's birthday!!!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!

I slept so well last night that when I woke up, I was asking myself "huh? Where am I?", only to realise the next second that I was at his place....

Got to go off now. Staff Seminar today at Warren Golf Club. WHOLE DAY. whole SATURDAY.

my blog is stuck.
I learnt today that privilege is spelt without a "d".

The SIngaporean Dream vs The Singaporean Plan.

Read it.

I wonder if I can really have the courage to make my life different. I certainly do not want to go through the same cycle as everyone : get married, get a house, renovate it
to my personal taste, have children, blah blah blah....something has to be different somewhere. Do you realise that all the people living in your block of flats go through the same cycle everyday? What's the difference? The government has moulded us and made us think that what we have now is what we WANT. Oh dear....

But honestly, I really see my life (and most of our lives) moving in that direction.

Sometimes I feel so trapped in this Singapore system that I can just scream. I resolve by saying that it's what I can make out of it that makes the difference. It's what you can do, given the constraints, that's unique and special to you. But sad to say, our lives will probably all boil down to the same structure in the end...

Frankly, I don't even have the time to think about the possibilities that I can explore...

"faith never fails"

Something I quote from the email that Prakash sent to me.

Profound upon deeper understanding......

Ever heard the soundtrack of The Phantom of the Opera? It's just SO good its beyond description. I can memorise every song, I've read the book, I have the piano score...

I should never have missed it when I came to Singapore.

I want to do these at least once before I die:

(1) Watch a spectacular sunset out at the ocean.

(2) Watch The Phantom of the Opera at least once. And it has to be the one with Michael Crawford as the phantom and Sarah Brightman as Christine.

That's all for the moment.

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssss

I recieved a letter from Prakash today! After such a long long time, he still remembers me and he still bothered to write snail mail! He said that his computer had broken down and he lost all his email contacts. He still remembers Jay, Const, Boon Hiong and Taufiq! What a pleasant surprise all the way from Nepal. I am feeling so guilty for not replying to his mails nor to his letters. He sent me a simple scarf in 2001 and I did not even reply to him. I must maintain this friendship as it is indeed special. You don't normally meet such warm people when you travel, people who are from poorer countries from yours who bother to keep in touch just for the sake of friendship. This guy may only be 18 when I met him but he is really mature beyond his years and he has so much love for everyone it is unbelievable.

Been on MC the past 2 days. I have a bad throat. It can be pretty ok for awhile in the day but then extremely painful otherwise. Right now, it's very painful. Doctor said my throat is swollen and he prescribed some medication to take care of the swelling as well as my voice box. My precious voice box....without which, I cannot be a teacher at all.

Missed school for 2 days. I had a good rest at home but I am worried about the work at school that is piling up like crazy. I have tons of things to do. Top priority being the completion of syllabus for my classes. Worried about that. I also have to source for another concert hall for my band's performance. I saw SP Band's performance at the SP Auditorium. Their band is smaller than ours and they cannot fully fit on the stage. Got to look for a hall that has a bigger stage...

Xiuqing's wedding was beautiful. Everytime I attend a wedding, I always imagine how mine would be like. I mean, I'm not dying to get married, but I do think about my own wedding and what I would do on that day. Oh well, that is just the beauty of the whole thing...a whole lot of preparation goes into one such occasion. Not to mention the money...it's really not easy!

School tomorrow...got to go prepare....urgh...

Sailing at Changi Sailing Club today. We went there as there was a hands-on session for handicap people to tryout sailing to see if it is their cup of tea. I thought I would be able to sit in the little boat too but I was wrong. Was very sleepy waiting in the heat. But it was fun and hey, we got into the sun! Abit of Vitamin D sure feels good. After that, we went to Pasir Ris Farmway 2 to get his aquatic plants and also to get some aquarium fishes. Every aquarium there was selling "Lou Han". Honestly, I don't see the big deal in that ugly fish. I don't think it tastes good either. What's the big deal man? Anyway, we bought 2 apple snails, some "rainbow fishes", 2 "puffer-looking" fish, I sucker fish and some plants. There was a pet farm and pet hotel there too. Had a fun time checking out the puppies on sale.

I have put on weight. The gowns I wore for my sister's wedding are tight as hell now. I look like the marshmallow man when I put on my white cheongsam. What am I going to wear for xiuqing's wedding dinner tomorrow?!?!

On top of all these, I have not been getting enough sleep lately. *dark rings*

It's been so long since I last blogged. A few things have happened :
1) Got over stress by crying in first week of school. He was there with me, for me.

2) Met up with JC classmates for "chi cha" and then went to Jazz@southbridge with them. Caught up with each other quite abit. Found out that Alwyn ROM'ed last November and Ho Kit is already ROM'ed and is living with his wife in Tampines. His wedding dinner will be next January. Alwyn told me he got into a car accident some time back and has since had a phobia while driving. He was saved by the Airbag. Nissan Airbag. Tried and tested!

3) MOE ExCEL day competition at Changkat Changi Secondary School. Been working so hard for it, together with the 4 othe teachers from my school and 5 other teachers from Swiss. We competed against other schools. Three prizes (in no order of merit) were given out for those in our category and we clinched one of the prizes! Well, at least all the hard work and stress was not wasted.

4) Xiuqing's wedding day after MOE ExCEL competition. Jenny and I turned up the latest, I think, but at least that gave us the opportunity to sit and chat together for the whole afternoon at Xiuqing's place. I learnt about the financial requirements in order to get married and to set up a home. It takes so much to settle down! (for the house, I mean)

I cannot tell if I am complaining in the usual way or am I really under stress. I have gone through stressful periods before but have pulled through. I woke up on Monday morning feeling extremely negative. I was up early and was actually rather awake when I sat up on my bed. Then I muttered a very sincere "shit..." and I proceeded to the bathroom.

This morning, I woke up in a jolt and actually felt this sense of fear. The kind where you feel your whole body shiver as if you've woken up late on the day of your O Level English exams. It took me awhile to look at the clock and to register the time and recognise that I was not late for school.

Dear Diary, I worked so hard in school today. People pissed me off and there were many halts to the smooth flow of my work as I needed to gather my information from many different people who could not give me exact answers on the spot. I was frustrated but I knew I only had one direction : ahead. I could only move ahead. I could not pause to take a breather (or even to take my lunch) as every free period that I had was precious and had to be used wisely and as efficiently as possible. I was in the constant fear of things not turning out right should I not get this issue settled by the deadline. The responsibility on my shoulders is far too great and there is no way I can shake it off or lighten the load. I am tired. I wish I had 48 hours a day. We had a half-day yesterday to celebrate our school's good O level results last year and everyone could leave at 11am. I had wanted to leave early too, to take the day off and really enjoy the benefits of the half-day given. But on and on I worked, settling each of the many different areas that I was in charge of. I finally left at 6pm. I was the last person to leave the school. I left without managing to clear all the work. In this line, you can never finish clearing everything.

Am I stressing myself too much? Am I managing my time badly? Am I being too much of a perfectionist and therefore giving myself all this undue stress? I don't know. But what if I do not do all those work? What if I slowed down my pace and strolled along instead? I wouldn't meet the deadlines on time. And who will suffer the consequences? Other people who are depending on the efficiency and speed on my part to get the job done.

Life is not fair. Who said it was meant to be fair in the first place? Some of us have to work harder for our bread and butter. I think I am turning into a robot. I think I have little or no more passion or positivity in the adminsitration duties that I have.

But I am not a robot. I am human. I have feelings. I tire out too. I feel fatigue too. I have limitations to the maount of work that I can do at one time. It's getting harder and harder to prioritize as everyone tells me everything that I am doing now is a top priority.

Tell me, should I see a shrink for help?

I AM HAVING MONDAY BLUES. I AM IN FEAR OF WORK. I AM IN CONSTANT FEAR.

"In joy or sadness, flowers are our constant friends. We eat, drink, sing, dance and flirt with them. We wed and christen with flowers. We dare not not die without them. We have worshipped with the lily, we have meditated with the lotus, we have charged in battle array with the rose and the chrysanthemum. We have even attempted to speak in the language of flowers. How could we live without them? It frightens one to conceive of a world bereft of their presence. What solace do they bring to the bedside of the sick, what a light of bliss to the darkness of weary spirits? Their serene tenderness restores to us our waning confidence in the universe even as the intent gaze of a beautiful child recalls our lost hopes. When we are laid low in the dust it is they who linger in sorrow over our graves"

Kakuzo Okakura
The Book of Tea

Dear friends

I chatted with a friend online last night. His name is Kelvin and he's just home from being hospitalized at SGH.

Kelvin as soft tissue sacoma. Its an unusual type of cancer that attacks the soft tissue in our body. Because of his cancer, he had his left leg amputated from thigh down sometime last year. I got to know him from a sports event by the Handicap Welfare Association at Ngee Ann Poly some time early this year. He was perfectly fine at that time and was one of the most positive young amputees I got to know. He showed keen interest in being a volunteer for the camps I organize. He volunteered and was very active in helping other amputees at Alexandra Hospital.

Kelvin's cancer has reoccurred. They found it in his lungs this time. He was hospitalized for chemotherapy. He is now home for 3 weeks of rest, and then followed by 5 days in the hospital again for the chemo treatment. Chemo is painful. It kills the bad cells as well as the good ones. Side effects include loss of appetite, loss of hair, nausea, vomitting, diarrhea, fatigue etc.

Kelvin is struggling to be positive. It's so easy for us to tell him to be positive, be strong, fight, etc. But its really difficult when he's the one facing the treatment and undergoing the physical and mental trauma. He can still smile and joke with me and with Jason, but he is at a loss of words to describe how he feels. He had only one word. Lost.

I have so many thoughts about him. About cancer. About my father (who lived with it and fought with it for 7 years). About life. Life is so fragile. We have our health and hey, I think that's the most important thing. We may already know this fact but we tend to forget to cherish what we have.

Please, in whatever way, help me pray for Kelvin.

Thanks...

President's Charity 2002 was ok. The Istana is beautiful at night. So very romantic.

I got to know 2 other persons from tonights reception. We arrived at the same time at the gate and took the shuttle bus into the Istana grounds together. A girl and a guy. We hit off very well and were chatting and hanging around each other the whole time. It was fun. What a small small world it was, they were from the same sec school and college (but did not know each other till now). We took photos and I will be waiting for them to email me...

Darling going for the operation tomorrow. I hope stumpy feels better after the op.

Happy Teachers' Day man!!

I was at the bus intercahnge last week and I came across this old lady who was selling packet tissue there. She was sitting on the floor and everytime the crowd watlked over from the MRT station, she would raise her voice and say "tissue paper" in Hokkien.

I thought to myself, why not get some tissue from her and just give her $5? After all, the $5 would not mean much to me but I could be a decent dinner for her.

So I went forward and took $5 from my purse. She was selling the tissues at $1 for a whole strip of 12 packets of tissue. I asked for one and she packed it into a bag for me. I gave her the $5 note and told her to keep the change. She insisted that she gave me my change. I tried to tell her it was ok but she insisted and she fumbled through her little purse to get $4 to return to me. There and then, while trying to insist that she took the money, I came to a realisation.

She is earning a decent living. She does not want pity or charity. She has her pride.

The whole episode made me reflect on my actions. Why had I assumed in the beginning that I would be doing her a service by giving her extra money? True, she did look old and frail and pitiful sitting there but she has her pride too. She was not begging. She was trying to sell tissue paper to people like me who need or want tissue.

I am so sleepy.

We met Delwen at Bugis Junction today. She was on her way to meet her friends. We always meet her huh? hehe ....we're fated to meet....

I bought some farewell gifts for my trainee teacher and a checkered shirt from Arthur Yen for myself.

So sleepy now.

We actually learned the Fun Dance today during contact time. Imagine, 70 teachers standing up from their seats in the theatrette, watching a video of instructions on the steps for Fun Dance. It's for Aces Day, which is some major workout session with the entire school after teacher's day celebration on Friday. I was standing at the back laughing at those in front who were making mistakes, going the wrong direction and looking absobloominglutely ridiculous. Of course, I did not subject myself to that level of stupidity to join in the steps. And of course, I logged the 25 minutes into my training for this year. Cool.

I'm in a CRAZED mood. Fishing CRAZED.

Kill me. Just kill me.

Apparently my super long-ago homepage at pacnet is still visited by people once in a blue moon! Some guy emailed me saying that he was surfing around the icq sites and came across my homepage. Then he emailed me, hoping that we could be friends or something. He gave me his homepage, which I will share with darling -- apparently this guy is the founder of some famous blues band in Singapore and he's a Blues fanatic. Want to befriend some musicians?

We were at Jazz@Southbridge last night with M and AW. It was a great night as the music was fantastic. I think we are building up our contacts with the people at Jazz. Listening to them last night was great fun. You should have seen the way Louis works at the drumset. Pretty strenous for an old man his age...

Just wrote a very long email to Wanteng telling her about the latest events in school. Wrote a shorter email to Audrey before that, conplaining about almost the same things.

I still have one stack of marking here next to me. I can just die now.

Watched "Practical Magic" on TV just now. Was watching the first part of it at his place, and then rushed home during the commercial break (because the show ends at 12am and I didn't want to be walking home at that time) I like that show. I loved watching all the women's long hair. Its long, almost till their waist. I want to have long hair like that. It'll take ma another year I think, to get hair that long, but I will wait! I think we must try out such things once in our lives. If I don't have such long hair now, I will not have the chance next time. I don't think a woman in her 30s or 40s should have such long hair...unless it suits her. Otherwise, people are going to say you're a ghost or a wannabe-young.

What shall I wear to school tomorrow? I hate to think about this. I have to wear something that is "approved". Shit. Not that I want to be a racist, but hey you want me to wear a head scarf or not huh? Dammit...

Back to marking first....darn....Monday blues...

21 August was my dad's birthday. We used to celebrate it together when were young. We would buy a cake, make some tea, put on some good oldies on the cassette and my father would set his video camera on the stand and let it run and film down our little celebration at the dining table at home. We would sing him his birthday song and then he would blow the candles and cut the cake. Then we would give him our presents and kiss him on the cheek too. Then he would open the presents one by one. My mum would cut the cake and we would eat the cake and drink tea together. Of course, during all these, we (esp my brother) would be busy playing around and doing "things" (cant remember what though).

I have the recorded tapes somewhere....but I think they're mouldy....

What a long day! I have so much to say...

To begin with, the day started off bad. I was urgently called into the boss's office in the morning at about 7:45am.
Boss (as if scolding a primary school kid): I told you that morning assembly is very important! Were you there just now? I did not see you.
Me : I was there. I was standing next to 2E1. One of my girls was ill and I took her aside after pledge-taking.
Boss : You were there?
Me : Yes
Boss (realising that I had done nothing wrong) : Ok. I want to speak to you about a few things. Firstly, let me tell you very frankly, your attire is not appropriate. What you're wearing today is not appropriate. Now I'm telling you on a one-to-one frank manner and I hope you will do something about it. There is nothing wrong with your work but its these things that will affect your ranking later. Do you understand?
Me : (knodded)
Boss : The next thing is, why haven't you spoken to me about KC?
Me : (surprised)
Boss : You have not come to me to tell me if he is performing well as a conductor. Have you accessed him and do you want him to continue being the conductor of your band? If so, you need to discuss about his contract and how much you want to pay him, by hour or bu month. This contract has to be drawn up before the year-end.
Me : (knodded) (the contract was done the end of last year and it lasts till end of 2003. What the fish is he talking about?)

I don't feel like blogging that conversation anymore. So negative.

Anyway, I am feeling better now. Had a great dinner with Jen, Min and Qing. Dim Sum on a conveyour belt. Sounds interesting huh? Yeah. Do try it. It's not very good foor, but try it anyway. Just for fun. It's at Bugis Junction.

I still have TONS of marking. Just kill me. Please?

I can't find the instrument register 2002 that I created a month ago! ARGH! All the hard work! I don't know where it is. Can just die...

Have a meeting with some other teachers from Swiss Cottage Sec tomorrow afternoon. I have absolutely no idea what is involved. I foresee that the meeting will take quite long. Its for some cluster competition on innovative lessons that tap on the multiple intelligences......what again???

Everyone in school's going "Mohhhle....Moley Moley....mmmmmmmoooooohhhhhhhLLLLLeee" Austin Powers. Very Shagadelic baby....

We had a great time last night. It has been some time since I drank till I was high. The feeling is just great. Things were extra funny and everyone had so much fun together. Elgin made arrangements for some of us to send those who were more drunk home. We had to send Benson home.

Had strange dreams last night.

School tomorrow. YUCK. I still have a great deal of marking yet to be completed!

Just kill me, will ya? Just kill me...

I am dead fat.

I cleared the fridge of some expired material just now. There was an entire bag of goodies from Lush that my sister got a long time ago. All the interesting soaps anf scrubs that are made from fresh ingredients that had to be kept in the fridge. I threw away those that were expired and kept the rest...

I cannot send emails out. Something's wrong with my computer.

Enough rest. I need enough rest. I also need to exercise. The school gym is just there but its such a hassle to have to walk all the way to the toilet to change, and then go to the office to get the key, and then exercise, and then return the key, and then walk all the way to the toilet to change again. I mean, it sounds simple but it really is a hassle. I won't bother to explain why it really is a hassle. It just is.

I'm trying to stop feeding myself. It's hard when your stomach is growling and on the verge of lapsing into serious gastric. You just can't ignore it, can you? But I'm not about to allow myself to balloon back to that roly-poly figure I used to possess. Not that I am slim now or what, but hey, those who've known me for some time, you would know the kind of achievements I have made.

I was just thinking, what if I don't have any, or if I lose all the commitment that I have at work? What if I can't motivate myself to do anything anymore? That would be sad wouldn't it? I mean, the obvious answer would be to quit the job and search for something else to do but that in itself is another problem. What can I do with one cheap Arts degree?

i feel better after i focused on doing other things. (like reading other more recent blogs)

Aren't I silly?

Better go sleep now. I have a STRONG urge to go on MC tomorrow because I have some duty on in the noon that I dread. Argh....the battle of good and evil in my mind. But hey, if I take MC, I can focus and complete all my marking and even complete the CD covers for my students. Besides, I'm only teaching 2 periods tomorrow. But then, I'm observing her lesson tomorrow.

shucks....honestly, I don't feel too good. I had the urge to step into the clinic when I was walking home in the evening. I was having a bad headache and I wanted to complain about my work to the doctor. I don't know how else to let her know that I am stressed at work. My brain is close to explosion.

ok bedtime. night.

I got jealous while reading his old blogs. "It's illogical", my logical mind told me. Jealous of who? Of what? I know its incoherent and silly, even pointless. But still, that's how I felt. Insanely jealous.

I can't believe myself.

But still, arghhhhhhhh...............*super green*

I recieved an invitation for a tribute reception for volunteers with President SR Nathan on 29 August at the Istana. I was nominated by AWWA TeachMe Services. Was quite surprised to recieve the invitation. I suppose it sounds grand, to be invited for a reception with Mr President himself. But I think it's going to be just a simple social fuction where you go and smile at a whole bunch of strangers, take some finger food and then fade into the background after 5 minutes.

Nevertheless, I'm going for it!

The last time I went to the Istana was when I was about 3 or 4 years old. My dad took the whole family there for a picnic when the grounds were opened for a day at that time. He took many slides of us. Yes, slides. I have a slide projector at home. Maybe I should take it out to dust it and then put on the whole slideshow for him to watch.
Err...him as in my boyfriend. Not my father.

Anyway, the Istana...yeah....it will bring back memories....

I have not been eating more than usual, but I I've been feeling very bloated lately.

We met at Al Azhar for a late dinner after his lesson. Coincidently, Eric, Elgin and his girlfriend turned up at Al Azhar too. Had some food together and arranged to go drinking on Saturday night. It's been some time since I drank till I was high. I like that feeling.

I over-ate today. I feel terrible.

Forgot to mention, he bought Earthworm Jim for me!! I was so amused and so happy that I couldn't stop laughing and giggling when I saw the game. I'm surprised he remembered...hehe....

I have managed to play till Stage 3 : What The Heck? It's not easy ok...

I have succesfully scanned in about a 1000+ photographs of my band. Completed the bulk of it today. I am trying to digitize all the photographs as an archive that the band can keep. I'm going to burn them onto CDs for the graduating members.

I am having cramps. I am in pain.

We are going to catch Austin Powers at 7:30pm later at west mall. Groovy Baby Yeah!!!!!!!

I kinda like this new look here...

I put the archives back in because I want to read them and I don't know how else to get access except through here. It's good to look back upon the past and refresh your memory on what you did, and to reflect and literally see how much you've grown and maybe even changed.

I'm in the mood to reminisce....(correct spelling?)

We went to Clifford Pier to catch the fireworks tonight. Got quite a sensational view from where we were but the duration of the fireworks was a disappointment. I got reminded of the flares that we saw on New Year's Day at East Coast Park. Amidst the smell of our BBQ food, the distant music from other picnickers, the cool breeze from the sea, the sound of the waves and the blaring of the foghorns, the bright red flares were a sight to behold. We will do it again on 31 Dec 2002!

He's going for that surgery to remove that bleeding "blister" on Stumpy. (That's the name we've given to his stump). I hope I will be able to be there on that day. I might have to work. But I will try by hook or by crook!

Lets not waste our time talking about the past. It's past anyway. I want to look ahead, be progressive and not regressive.

At 2:30am this morning, I recieved this rom Wanteng :
Thank you for your friendship! I am very glad our paths have crossed. All of you are my first colleagues since I started work and you have made it memorable! Bye and take care!

I only read the message this morning when I woke up. Then it dawned on me that she was probably getting ready to go to the airport at that time. It made me even sadder. I can't even come close to describing why I feel this sadness in me. I don't even realise it myself that of all my friends, WT has one of the most beautiful hearts. She's someone I can share my problems with and she listens with an open heart and and open mind. She has given me advice on how I can handle my work better and all that. She was also there when my previous relationship was on the rocks. I just hope that she will be happy over in Texas and that she will cope well.

I was at work till 8:45pm today. I was the last teacher to leave the school. It was kind of spooky in the staffroom, so I turned on the radio loud wnough to drown the silence. Managed to get quite a few things done. Tomorrow is another battle. I have to do lots of printing...of exam and common test papers.

I'm so tired. M and S both got MCs for stress. How do I approach the docter to tell him I'm stressed at work?

I almost cried too, when saying goodbye to WT. We all got so emotional. The thought of not seeing a good friend for the next 5 years because she's halfway around the globe was sad. Though we're sad, I'm so happy for her - she will have so many new experiences over there with Joel, she will be a "tai tai" staying at home while her husband works. Five years is a long time. They saved up for Joel's studies and so they have got no spare cash to fly back and forth from the States. She won't be back at all for the next 5 years....

WT was one of the few friendly faces that greeted me when I came to this school. Our friendship deepened when we were allocated to sit next to each other in the new staffroom. When I moved to sit elsewhere, I remember she cried. That really pulled my heart strings. She's one of the kindest people I have come across. She's calm and collected and she's always courteous and warm. I have never seen her break and lose her cool under stress. It's no wonder that she was promoted to be the HOD of pastoral care within 5 years of her career. I've always treated her like a big sister. Though we're not close as in we do not share details of each other's everyday lives together, she will always be a good friend. Maybe if she had left the school for another, I might not see her in the next 5 years anyway. But knowing that she's going to be in Texas for the next 5 years is different because that means even if we wanted to meet up, we woouldn't be able to.

Goodbye is so hard.

----------------------------------------------

Anyway, today i also Jay's birthday. We celebrated it at Bali Thai and I bought her a cake too. Happy Birthday Miss India!!!!! Stay Beautiful!!!!!!

Ever seen an illuminated computer keyboard?

The moment I think about school, I feel this sense of fear. I'm not kidding. I think about the things that I have to do and I really freak out. I have to tell myself to stop thinking and just handle it one at a time. I go through the entire process of thinking through about the things that I need to get done and the priority of each item. Just the thought of it all makes me feel like I really want to take an MC tomorrow to stay home, not to rest of escape from it all, but so that I can use the time at home to complete some things without having the interruptions of having to conduct lessons.

The past 2 days being away from school was pure bliss. I had no stress. I attended my course with the enthusiasm of a keen student and I met up with ex-students on both days for lunch. Chatting with the teachers from other schools was also interesting. You learn from each other that its the same stress everywhere regarding your CCA and we all face the same type of problems when it comes to teaching and planning for the subject. But this once incident got me thinking : we were talking about the subjects that we were teaching in school. The majority of these teachers wre teaching Maths ans CPA. When it came to my turn, I said "maths, english and CPA". Everyone had the same expression of shock and disbelief on their face. There stopped sipping their coffee and eating their cake for that split second. I was faced with questions like "how come like that?", "It's no joke man, how do you cope?" and all that.

I realised (once again) that I am overloaded over here. It seems stress and CCA duties are the same everywhere but 3 teaching subjects is almost unheard of. I am going to speak up this time and request that I teach only 2 subjects next year. And if I may choose, please please please give me Maths and CPA. I don't want English....but then again, BM is not likely to release me from her tentacles....she's like Ursala...

Speaking of BM, she wants to observe my English Lesson next term. I don't understand why. She's not my reporting officer. Yes I do belong to her department and so? She wants to do a routine quality check on all of us. *sigh*....the thought of it makes me sick. Term 4 is an extremely busy term for me. Being the only person in charge of the PMS, almost every week in term 4 is taken up for printing the result slips and leaving certs of each graduating level (starting with the 4NA students). I am going to just die....

Attended a course at Singapore Poly today. Will be there tomorrow again. I love missing school and I miss schooling life! *sigh*

I had so much more to blog last night but I was too sleepy. There was actually a 3rd paragraph but my finger landed on the backspace key while I dozed off for the mere few seconds and when I jolted awake, the entire paragraph was gone.

Anyway, any plans for today? I want to do something outdoor but I don't know what. Well, we'll see about that...

The concert was a success. I was running around the school till about 3:45pm, arranging and getting the guitar ensemble to rehearse with the mic system. We were all supposed to be ready at 4pm! Anyway, I excused myself and called for a short meeting at 4pm to see all the leaders of the performing groups for a short briefing. Then I ran to the staffroom to get ready for everything. I was quite amazed that I managed to wash my face, change and put on my make-up all in 15 minutes. Could tell that the guitar ensemble instructor was rather surprise at how different I look (or something). Talked to them and when done, he said," by the way, you look very pretty". That caught me. Cos I think I look more harrassed than anything else.

Anyway, I'm so proud of my band. I love their music. They were all in full uniform and so I decided that it would be a perfect opportunity to take a band photo. I was rather frustrated with the camera though. Will not bother to explain what it was that made it so frustrating. I actually missed many "golden moments" just because the camera wasn't ready at that time.

I have lost all my email contacts since I got my computer reformatted. Jen, Min or Qing, if you're reading this, could you send me an email? What are you guys busy with lately? Been some time since we met up...

Anyway, today's Annual Award Ceremony in school. My band is reporting at 1pm. It's going to be a busy busy day.

I went to Ikea last night to buy some box files for the different sections to store their music files in the band room. Stayed back in school till 6pm yesterday to do the final bits of cleaning up in the band room and I finally managed to neaten up the place a little and to clear up some things around. Some of the kids were in the room with me, helping me and playing around with their instruments at the same time. It's these times that I get to chat with them on a more personal level and get to know them a little bit more. Cai Jing asked me "why you so good?" (as in, why did I bother to clean up the room and clear unwanted stuff and all that). I just told her that I'm the band teacher and this room belongs to the everyone in the band. I'm only doing my part. Besides, I'm such a neat freak. Of course, I didn't tell her that.

Desmond has shown so much more improvement in his attitude towards the band this year. I used to have to chase after him to get him to turn up for practice. He used to promise me over IRC that he would want to be a good boy and come for practice regularly but he disappointed me many times. Now, his attitude is really different and he is starting to feel that sense of belonging to this band. Maturity level in a student is one big factor how some of them eventually learn to be responsible and reliable. Must remember to mention about him in my speech during our POP in August.

The construction right outside my window is driving me nuts. I'm going to shower and get to school before I go crazy....

I've decided...I'm going to wear my white cheongsam to school tomorrow...that punjabi suit? I wore that last year...

Happy Racial Harmony Day!

We had the Annual Awards Ceremony rehearsal today at 4pm. It was rather chaotic. I found at the very last minute that the PA supplier was not employed to supply the sound system for the concert in the concourse for today's rehearsal. How then can you call it a REHEARSAL when you don't even have the most important item? I mean, the PA system was the main reason why we needed to rehearse today....*sigh*...I'm so tired of this crap in school. Somebody somewhere not directly involved with the item making the decision without knowing what is really required and what the problems are. And worse, making the decision known only in the very last minute so that the people directly involved have got no way of making other arrangements. This place is like this. Decisions are made by people "up there" who are not aware of what's really happening "down here".

To top it off, I had to discover for myself that I had 4 students who did not have a band coat to wear for our performance this Saturday. They did not even have the decency to inform me. How irresponsible! I was SO mad because they really gave me a BIG headache. It was unimaginable. I scolded the whole group and my blood really boiled when one of the 4 students was distracted as I was lecturing them. I really raised my voice this time and I could feel the blood rushing to my head. I nearly exploded. I had to walk off to cool down.

So yeah, I had a super day, minus the events above, which make up about 70% of today.

*aching feet*

Monday blues are setting in. I was having a game of mahjong with Pei, John and Jonathan when I realised that tomorrow's a working day. Wow, my mood was immediately dampened man.

So Limin turned 21 this year. Looking at her, man I think she looks like she turned 21 long ago. No offence but the trend seems to suggest that girls are growing up and maturing much faster and are going way beyond their true age. I have met my 17-year-old students on the streets and you wouldn't think that they were only 17. Their dressing, make-up skills and all that make them look much older. Like my age! Sometimes I feel like I'm younger than them...younger at heart, I mean. Do I look my age? (I hope not.)

She's the typical "little royal highness" brought into the world with a silver spoon in her mouth. Youngest in the family with a doting elder brother and another sister. Her mother fetches her everywhere, even when she wants to go for a movie with her friends, or even when she goes clubbing at zouk. Her mother will fetch her there and if she wants to, her mother would fetch her home too. What a lucky girl, everyone says. But frankly, I think she's spoilt. Her poor mother's been slogging her ass off for her birthday party. She apparently had one last night at her home with her friends and tonight's party is for family and relatives. So her mother was "lamenting" that tonight's crowd isnt as difficult to serve as last night's. I could imagine her running in and out of the kitchen, preparing and topping up the cordial, making sure there's enough serviettes to go round and cleaning up after the guests have left. Yeah, they have a maid too, which is why her little royal highness need not lift a finger to do anything. After all, it IS her birthday party.

I wonder if I will pamper my own daughter like this next time.

Isn't there a regulation to prevent contractors from exploiting their foreign workers? There are more than 5 workers who are still downstairs moving sacks of cement and sand down from a lorry onto the pavement. (One of the units in my block is undergoing renovations.) Working?! At 3am in the morning?!

The computer at home is down.

I am sitting in Computer Lab 2 waiting for my students to come in for lesson.

Broke a glass plate in the staffroom just now. Was trying to cut up at slice of pizza but I accidently let the plate slide off the table and it crashed into many pieces on the floor. Hmmm...did not get any cuts, otherwise I might have an excuse to leave school to seek medical treatment or something.

Been having bad gastric problems. I don't skip food. In fact, I've been gorging myself. Everyone tells me its stress. Well, maybe. The pain gets worse whenever I think of work. Might have to see a doctor soon if this persists.

Post-mortem of the TeachMe camp tonight at 6pm. All the way at Ang Mo Kio. I really don't feel like going. It's such a drag (I have to drag myself all the way there), especially since the camp took place a month ago. If it was a dead body, the decay would render the post-mortem useless by now.

Ok, got to go prepare for the lessons now. Bell will go anytime soon....

I'm running on Windows NT now....thanks dear for doing it up for me...I will try to be very careful in dealing with this virus crap!

I need new clothes. I have not been shopping for any clothes since November last year. Reason? I had to sacrifice shopping and all other luxuries in order to meet the credit card payments that I had set aside for myself.

I'm sick of wearing what I have. I may have 2 cupboards of clothes, but less than half are interesting enough to be given a second glance. They were pretty ok last year but you know clothes, they tend to get worn out after too many wears. Everytime I open my cupboard and pick a skirt or a top out, I would have an ideal matching item to it on my mind and wish I had it. My clothes are so boring.

Times like these, I wish I was rich. I wanted to go somewhere to shop after school today but then I remembered that I don't have enough money, so I came home instead.

Everytime I open my cupnoard to select clothes for the next day, I take at least 20 minutes...to select the clothing. A ridiculously long time, maybe, but I really cannot seem to decide on which piece to wear. I even have to think of matching shoes and bags (which I hardly buy). Stressful!!

The smell of success...ah....

I came home at 6:30pm. I've been rotting in the living room till now. What a beautiful way to spend my time. Just sitting, entertained by the tube. I didn't lift my ass off from the couch until 10pm. Have not done this couch-potato thing for some time now. What fun!

Ok. I'm at home. I'm typing this using my (suspected to be virused) computer. Let's see if this blog will appear on the webby after I scratch that orange "publish" button. Let's just see, shall we?

After this, I will log off, pack my room and clear the junk, and then back up the files in my computer....if I still have the energy, that is.

Okie....publishing of this blog begins NOW....

I'm not going to do any work today. I'm too tired to think.

I'm STRESSED. I'm so PISSED by this place and the people "up there" who have the final say. So what if you booked the meeting room way beforehand? I didn't know that I was the PE of the LC exam until last week. I couldn't have booked the room before you. Yeah, on BnW you have the right to use the room for your cluster meeting, but what we're having on Saturday is the O LEVEL Mother Tongue LC EXAM! I believe that should take precedence over your bloody meeting! Use the library? Find me a cupboard where I can lock the exam papers in then. Yes, I know you have emailed all your cluster who-ever to meet you in the meeting room, but you can just put up signs in the school telling them to detour to another room, can't you? Hey, this is the Mother Tongue Listening Comprehension exam ok. YOU are the Head of the MT department for goodness sake! What the hell are you doing?? Stop laughing in the sickening manner when you tell me about this. You know you should let the examiners have the room and yet you're hanging on to it. You just don't want the trouble of having to prepare signs to inform those people of the change in venue, right? Lazy!

And you! Who do you think we are? We are already stressing over the national day parade and that bloody march pass thing. We have our own concert to be focussed on. We have to be in school ONE HOUR before any other people for EVERY SINGLE rehearsal and on that actual day itself. We have to CARRY our instruments AND chairs down that highly-inconvenient spiral staircase from the THIRD floor down to the carpark and set up, just to play those 2 pieces for everyone. We already have THREE practices a week. Yet you still want us to put up a performance of any kind for the National Day concert in the school hall?? Are you out of your mind? Or is it too stupid to think? Or are you just simply cruel? Your arrows come flying at any convenient target! Just because my students are a talented lot does not mean that they can be asked or ordered to do anything for you! What about the other performing groups in the school? Why don't you ask them? We have not time to carry our instruments down to the carpark, play for you, carry everything back upstairs again, and then rush to the hall to perform. You're talking about 80 kids here. Not just a handful. EIGHTY kids to run around like mad chickens for you?? We have no time to practice or rehearse for your bloody concert. We have our own priorities here. You can forget about the concert. We're not performing. If you insist, then all 80 of us will see and know what kind of leadership qualities you have and how good you are at allocating duties and dividing workload.

This place is full of shit.

"The Art of Happiness."

I bought this book by Bertrand Russell a couple of years back but did not get past the first 2 pages. The language is too deep and the ideas, too philosophical. Maybe there's no such thing as "too philosophical". Maybe I was not mature enough to grasp the deeper meanings of it. I wonder if I will read it again. Sometimes, I do ask myself if I know how to make myself happy. Am I doing enough for my spiritual well-being? Am I taking care of my mental growth? It seems I have to conciously think of all these issues because if I don't, I will probably be where I am now for the next 20 years. Now that's a scary thought.

Then again, I must DO something. There's no point sitting here thinking about what I should do and I what I can do. I have to MOVE. I'm so tired everyday (physically). I wonder how he, and some of my friends, can actually attend night classes without falling asleep, not to mention, learn and absorb?

A driving license. I will start with that. Expensive as it may be, but it's money that's going to be spent one day anyway, so why not now? The thing is, I have to pay by credit and that turns me off a great deal. I am sick and tired of credit card bills. A souple of nights ago, I dreamt that I was driving. I had so much fun in that dream that when I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep to continue that dream. All my friends have got their licenses. Jen, Min and Qing can drive. Biqing, Weiqing and Donna can drive. The guys from my class can drive too. I think I will start by getting that basic theory test date. Soon.

There. Done.

It's one of those days where you feel that nothing, absolutely nothing can motivate you to do anything. I'm feeling so lethargic. Even eating chocolate does not make me feel better. I already popped a few into my mouth today, not to mention the number of butter cookies that I have taken. No use. Just feel fatter, that's all.

Maybe it's PMS.

I'm thinking of re-vamping my room. Taking out the little bits and pieces here and there that make it look cluttered. I seem to have so many little knic-knacs. The candles I bought for that little corner on top of the chest of drawers are all collecting dust. I do not burn them. I was just thinking, maybe I should wrap them up and give them away as gifts. They're brand new anyway.

The archive links do not work. I'm getting rid of them.

Chatterbox is a waste of space. I'm getting rid of it too.

Now.

I missed the Wolrd Cup finals, but my Sunday was more meaningful than any other that I normally had.

We brought about 18 handicap youths out to Suntec City. After that, we took a walk over to One Fullerton. Along Nicoll Highway, we stopped to enjoy the sea breeze and to let them feast their eyes on the view of the sea and of Benjamin Sheares Birdge. We had dinner at Lau Par Sat. Everyone was exhausted, but happy.

Sherena was telling me that some of these youths have never been to Suntec City, nor One Fullerton, nor Lau Par Sat before. One of the guys (he's 20 years old) had never been out of this home alone without his family. We hoped that the outing would open their eyes and help them on their first independent step into the society, instead of cooping themselves up at home all the time. We wanted to show them that there were many places in Singapore that were wheelchair-friendly and that they could visit these places on their own in future.

I'm glad we gave them something special that day. Somehow, some doors were opened. Despite their difference in intellectual level, in medical condition, in mobility and in race, everyone was able to have a good time with each other. I enjoyed myself very much too.

I've learnt so much from them. My awareness level is heightened everytime I work with these people. It's different with them and with HFC. At HFC, I'm the organizer. Ian and I "run" the show and do the background preparations. On Sunday, I was a volunteer. I simply interacted with the people and I was in charge of pushing Sherena from Suntec to Lau Par Sat. It was no mean feat. We had to manouver the wheelchair up and down the curbs and over the bumps and holes in the ground. I had to ensure her safety and make sure that I did not topple the wheelchair as I pushed her up/down the curbs.

Sherena and Judy are 2 very special people. If possible, I would like all my friends to meet them and even my mum to meet them. Their positive attitude to life, never-say-die spirit is so inspiring. Despite being wheelchair bound, they are still giving their time and effort to helping and guiding Singapore's handicap society.

When you know that what you do will bring smiles to their faces and their lives, when you know that with every outing and every be-friending you are opening a door, even if it is by a little creak, then everything, even a friendly hello, is worth all the effort, all the energy, all the time.

There's something very wrong with my computer these past few days. That's why I could not blog. The system refused to accept and who my "published" blogs.

Contracted the Klez Virus. Found out that it's low-risk but I'm still very irritated by it. Curse those computer nerds who have nothing better to do with their miserable lives than to create viruses and cause inconvenience to so many innocent people. They should be banished to a secluded island where no form of technology is available. Rot their freaking lives away. Or get electrocuted as they are trying to "grow" their next worm. Suffer from radiation from exposure to computers. Wear thick glasses (wait a minute, they already do). Lose their sight. Whatever.

We had fun during dinner last night. I have not been spending much time with them for quite awhile and last night's dinner felt good. We joked and laughed and made a big commotion at the restaurant. All 13 of us. I even "conducted" a mini chior to sing the birthday song for Sam. He was so embarrassed by it.

SS will be coming back for her practicuum of 10 weeks. I will be her CT again. I agreed as I was thinking of the glorious 14 free periods that I will have if she took my English classes. Woohoo!! BM told me that I will be given other duties to handle, since I will have more time in my hands at that time. I had no objection at all. I mean, anything is better than stressing over "what to teach" for my English classes.

huh???? WIERD

...

virus got my pc!!! I'm so irritated!! I have already been extremely careful..........argh

testing 2

testing 1

I was actually a little surprised that he had no objection when I suggested that we go take neo-prints (I had tremendous fun doing that with my friends when we met up for dinner that night). I had expected objections and comments that neo-prints were childish and all that stuff. On the contrary, he simply followed me up to where the
machines were! We even took 2 different sets (that's 32 different prints) of neo-prints. I love him for being so spontaneous.

Yellow pillow is too big. Colleagues thought that it was for a bed! I only have half a chair to sit on now...

I am so sleepy...

First day of school today, after the so-called 4-week break (it was in effect, only a 5-day break for me, which I spent in Bali..). Nightmare Part 2.

I get stressed up planning lessons for the next day. I get even more stressed up if I am walking to school with no plans of what I am going to do in class for that day. I hate that feeling. Very stressful! Sometimes I wish I was in a job that would not put me through such great responsibilities and such stress levels.

Anyway, I survived Day One.

We went to Ikea to shop around today. Took down specific measurements of the furniture that we were interested in and went home to take the measurements of his room. Bought some small storage items too. I bought a big yellow pillow to put on my chair at work. We packed up his stuff and the room actually looks pretty neat and spacious. There might be a problem arranging the furniture in the room if he buys a study table. We are still working things out...

Classes begin tomorrow for him....

It's been a hectic day. I was up at 6am and was greeted with a water problem. Apparently the toilets for the students in the school had NO water supply. The kids could not wash their face nor brush their teeth. They were also not able to flush the wc. I had to run around to check if it was the case for all the toilets and then I reported the matter to the office. The students were allowed to use the staff toilet to wash up.

I went jogging with them this morning!

Staff meeting was a drag. There was a presentation by BM and another HOD. They were talking about being matured adults who held authority in the eyes of the students. Quite a few statements were made that irritated me. She mentioned that the problem was largely present among the young teachers and that young teachers tend to be too friendly with students thus causing students to take advantage of them and discipline is hence lost. She said that there was no need for young teachers to concentrate of building rapport with their students as her studies have shown that secondary school students look up to teachers who delivered good lessons rather than teachers who had good rapport with them. What a crock of shit...I mean, I accept the fact that if certain lines are not drawn between teacher and student, then students will easily "climb over the teacher's head", but when teachers build with their students, they are not asking for a .....

I'm so sleepy......night...................zzzzzzzzz

Still miss you baby....

Man its so quiet I can actually hear the clock on the wall ticking, despite the soft humming of the air-con in here. C and Y and fast asleep. C in the sleeping bag in front of her table and Y on the sofa in the lounge. Me? I'm going to spread out my sleeping bag in front of my table (on the floor) and take my snooze....

It's 2am now and I'm sitting in front of the peecee in the staffroom. I have just finished packing up the external "mess" at my table and have just thrown away quite alot of things that I have not been using for some time. I'm trying to create an efficient workstation where what I have is what I need. Now that the external mess is cleared up, I have to look into the internal mess. That is, the reports and paperwork that I have to do before school re-opens next Monday.

Have staff meeting tomorrow from 8am till 1pm, followed by staff lunch from 1pm to 2pm. I foresee that I will be falling asleep in the meeting and that I will be walking in and out of the room to check on my band. By the way, I'm in school now as I am having my annual band camp.

Am able to stay awake till now as I had 2 cups of coffee in 2 hours jsut awhile ago. Glad that I was able to clear work but worried that I will not be able to wake up tomorrow. In fact, I just dozed off for a split second there....

Would like to blog more but I think I better go rest. Wake up time is 6:30am tomorrow. Camp commandant got to wake up and be the first to fall them in. I'm tired ....I just dozed off again just now....

I miss you baby....

Chronicles :
Day 3, 12/6, Wed :
We had arranged with Pande (our tour guide) for our complimentary half day tour this morning. Were supposed to meet him at 9am at the hotel lobby. We woke up late and had to ask him to wait for us while we had a hasty breakfast. Managed to start our day tour at 9:15am.

We went sightseeing and visit monuments and temples. Men and women likewise have to wear sarongs to cover their legs before entering the temples. Women who were menstrating were forbidden to enter the sacred grounds. So I had to stay outside while he went in to take a look and to take photos to show to me.

We also the batik printing "factory" and a wood carving "factory". We were not interested in any of those items so we did not buy any, much to the disappointment of the sales staff and our tour guide, i think.

We asked to spend the 2nd half of the day visiting the volcanoes in Bali. For US$20, we were taken up the mountain to view the volcanoes. The temperature up there was fantastic! The sun was hot but the air was cool and the wind was like full-blast air-con. It was nice to cuddle in the cold wind. We took some pictures and you can view there here. We had a buffet lunch at one of the restaurants in the mountains. Not exactly fantastic food but the coffee was really good. There were many peddlers trying to sell us all sorts of things like bracelets, t-shirts and keychains. We had to tell them "no, thanks" quite a few times before they gave up. Some of the peddlers were even children. There was a woman who offered her entire bunch of keychains at RP10,000. That's only S$2.00! But then I though, what can I do with so many keychains?

We had a traditional massage back at our hotel after the tours. It was soothing and pretty relaxing. Had a fantastic lobster and giant prawn dinner for a whopping RP444,475 and then we went back to the hotel to rest. We planned and confimed a snorkelling trip the next day back at our hotel. It was exciting to know that another day of adventure awaits us. I happily packed our little bag of barang barang for the snorkelling trip. We were not sure if we needed to bring towels, but we decided to just take oe of the pool towels with us. Illegal, I think, but....who knows? and....who cares?

Chronicles :
Day 2, 11/6, Tues : We had a simple (nicer word for plain?) breakfast at the hotel and we lazed by the pool the whole morning. Had a dip in the pool (it was sooo cold!) and sat in the sun to dry off. He tore off the gauze on his leg and after our swim, we discovered a swarm of savage ants crawling all over the bloodied gauze. I was lucky I did not get to see the whole thing. By that time, he had already burnt the gauze to get rid of the ants.

We learnt today : Gauze burns easily.

After our shower, we walked down to this very cosy restaurant down the road called Kopi Pot. It serves Satay (spelt as Sate on the menu) in the most elaborate manner I have ever seen. The steamed rice comes in a little cane basket lined with a piece of banana leaf. The sauce comes in a separate dish and the 10 sticks of meat were served on a miniature charcoal grill with pieces of burning hot charcoal in it. We sat upstairs and the ambience was really that of a little rooftop garden.

Did I mention that I had been drinking the local Bintang beer since i touched down? Had one at Mama's (German Restaurant) the night before and had one again during lunch. I don't normally drink beer you know.

We went window shopping after lunched. Walked down Legian street (which is pretty long and has 2 rows of shops lined up along both sides. Then we went back to our hotel for a shower and I called Sandy, MJ and Mel up for dinner. We arranged to meet at KFC, Matahari Square at 7pm.

We took a cab to the beach at about 5+ to catch the sunset. Little did I know that when we set foot on the sand, we were immediately bombarded with peddlers trying to sell scarves, bracelets, leather chokers, hair-braiding services, massage, manicure and pedicure, temporary tattoos and more. It was quite scary. They swarm around you, pushing their goods into your face. Women touting hair braiding services would shove a picture of a well-braided girl under your nose. This lady asked if I wanted a massage on my shoulders. She was kneading at my shoulders as she spoke and she even had the audacity to tell me that the kneading on my shoulders as she spoke were free-of-charge! I have not even mentioned about her outraging my modesty for rubbing my shoulders without my permission!

I had originally wanted to try out hair-braiding, so we bargained for a price and the lady spread out a beach scarve on the sand, on which I was to sit while she began braiding my terrified hair. Once I sat down, 6 other women knelt down next to me insisting that I purchase their services. One woman grabbed my hand and gave me a manicure on my left pinky for free as a demo. Subsequently, he bargained for a good price and I got all 10 fingernails done. To cut the long story short, there was 1 woman doing my nails, 2 rubbing my feet with lotion, 1 rubbing my hands and 3 braiding my hair. I have never had so many women "beautifying" me at one shot!

I am tired and will sleep now. Will continue this when I come back from the next camp , Camp Explorer, which starts today, 15/6. I got to wake up at 6:30am later!

We're back! Safe and sound, slightly tanned from the Bali sun.

I have so much to record down....let's try to put it in some logical order.

Chronicles :
Day 1,10/6, Mon : Touched down on Bali soil at about 8:45pm. Spotted our tour leader, Pande, holding a piece of paper with his name on it. We were whisked to Legian Paradiso Hotel and settled into our room. Was a little disappointed that the room's specifications were not as promised but we were assured of a change the next day. We proceeded to explore our surroundings and took a walk to a 24-hr German restaurant tht served fabulous sausages and beer.

There were many peddlers along the way to the restaurant. There was even a woman with her sleeping child and she was (or looked) homeless and hungry. She was begging. I was rather appalled that she chose to sit on the road, between the curb and the wheel of the parked van there. It was unhygenic and dirty, if not for her, for her child! Was she trying to create a pathetic image so as to successfully beg for a few thousand rupiahs? This night, I saw for myself, for the first time, what extremes poverty can drive a person to.

A handicap DIPLOMA holder in Singapore cannot get a decent job. She has to settle to work in DPA at $150 a month, after much attempts to secure a job.

Tell me, how can someone, who definitely needs to incur higher costs than us in terms of daily living, survive on $150 a MONTH?

Other than taking a longer time to move from one place to another, she is no different from any other able-bodied person.

Singapore. Disabled-friendly? I don't think so.

What's the reward?
When you see the wrinkles on their faces as they break into beautiful smiles, all the effort put into the organizing is well worth it and beyond.

Sometimes when I interact with the kids, when I chat a little longer with them, when I ask them questions about their lives and share mine with them, I'm not sure if its superficial. I mean, I defintely do not chat with them just to kill time. I sincerely want to talk to them and find out if they're having a good time and all that. It's just that I know that I will not get to see or talk to them after this weekend and until the next camp that I see them, provided they attend the next camp. Sometimes I wish I could do more. I could get their address and visit them but in reality, I'm too busy during term time to visit them and all that.

I wish I could have more time to reach out to them, more than just this once or twice a year. I've thought about going full-time into this, but I feel that when I start to get a salary for doing this, the whole thing will be different. I suppose, like teaching, admin work will probably become the primary job and reaching out to them is secondary.

These kids have a life so different from ours. We have so many more experiences that they can only dream of. Last night, I was sitting with Ming Keong at Newton Hawker Centre, accompanying him as his dad went to order food for the family. HIs mum and Ming Hui were sitting at another table. (You see, Newton Hawker Centre is not exactly disabled-frendly. You can't seat 2 wheelchairs at the same table. Both brothers are wheel-chair bound and have Duschene Muscular Distrophy) There was a group of 5 youngsters seated at the same long table as Ming Keong and I. He was looking at them drinking, chatting and laughing loudly and all that. There was so much activity going on around us. All of which, I suppose, is pretty new to him. You see, as both brothers are wheel-chair bound, the family hardly goes out together as it is indeed quite a hassle to have to carry and transfer them onto their wheelchairs.

I was thinking to myself, what's on his mind right now? Besides having to ignore some rude stares from the public, what else was going on his mind as he observed his surrondings?

Oh yeah....Jen, I had fun with you and Cai. Don't rebond your hair -- it's beautiful the way it is!!

I'm waiting for my p to come. I'm not looking forward to having it while I'm travelling!!!! But according to records, it should arrive on saturday night.....oh please let it come earlier...please please please.....

I think I did a pretty good job being the emcee tonight. Had more fun laughing with my co-emcee, C, who is as crazy as I am. We were laughing and joking while seated at our own table. Not on stage. Judging from the immediate relatives, we didn't think that they could take jokes, nor did they look like they had any sense of humour in them. C and I hit off very well. She asked me, in front of a few of my other rather prim and proper colleagues, if I went clubbing and all that. Luckily it wasn't my boss seated at the table. Careers like mine do not allow room for personal fun in the likes of clubbing, dancing or drinking. It would, in fact, be frowned upon, should you commit the offence of spending a late night out at a dark bar playing loud music and serving intoxicating beverages. Hmm...a definite no-no...

Frankly my dear, I don't give a hoot.

So, anyone getting married? Experienced emcee at your service....(for a small fee, or for a simple ang-pow discount.) What do you say?

So Elaine called me just now and confirmed that we will meet up at 5pm at the hotel ballroom. She said something about me being able to leave my things in the "day room" and all that. So I have the option of bringing a change of clothes along....hmmm....really wondering if I should. What does day room mean? It's not the room that she and her husband has upstairs I hope. Cos that would be very awkward for me to go changing in their room and to apply makeup and all that there. I'm not even close to her! I mean, if she was a close friend, I think it wouldn't be so wierd.

So anyway, I'm in a mini dilema now. To wear my dress there at 5pm, or to change there? You see, I'm wearing a gown. Don't want to be seen walking around Marina area in a gown. Very out-of-place isn't it?

One more thing. Quek (my mandarin emcee partner) has lost his voice due to flu and cannot be the emcee anymore! Elaine actually asked me if I could do the Mandarin version as well. You got to be kidding.....

She's looking for the other emcee now. The wedding is TOMORROW night. Stress huh? Well, I'm learning from all these and will try to make sure I don't get so stressed up during my own wedding. I mean, I want to be able to enjoy myself and entertain my guests during my wedding.

Hee, the way I talk about it, it's as if I'm getting married soon huh? Hmm....maybe....... in 2 or 3 years' time, right dear? hehe......

I had a strange dream last night. In fact, there were a few dreams and I'm not sure what the link is between them...I remember there was sambal sting ray, toilet bowl, poo, maggi mee soup seasoning, 2 malay aunties, television, a 3-room flat, lunch....

Hey, why aren't my archive links working???...put there "bai sui" only

My room is packed.

My room is in an absolute mess!

I am determined to get everything that has to be done done before we go off this Saturday. I am determined to enjoy my holiday.

Will be the emcee for Elaine's wedding this Thursday. Strange, I feel, as I'm not even her close friend. I would call our relationship as it is -- we are colleagues and mere acquaintances and that's all. She surprised me by asking me that day to be the English emcee for her wedding dinner at Pan Pacific Hotel. She got Quek to be the Mandarin emcee for the night. I was hesitant as I felt like I did not know her well enough to help her to host her wedding dinner. I mean, I would think that the emcee for the dinner should/would normally be close friends of the couple. That would be more meaningful, isn't it? Then the emcees will be able to talk and "expose" details about the couple and sabo them without remorse, isn't it? Personally, I would like the emcee for my wedding to be a close friend of mine. I would feel more secure that way I guess, rather than to let just any person who can speak in front of an audience be my emcee.

Anyway, I will try to be a gracious host for the banquet and will endeavour to say the appropriate things for her. I spoke to Quek today asking him if he had any more info regarding this emcee thingey. Apparently the both of us are pretty lost. She told me to be her emcee last week but she did not get my number (nor did the forgetful me remember to tkae hers). So I do not know how to contact her at all. She did mention that I could be at the hotel at 5pm to get ready and to rehearse. When I asked Quek what time he intended to be there, you would'nt believe what he said. THREE!!! "just to make sure that nothing goes wrong".....my goodness!! I think I have better things to do than to turn up that early to rehearse those few lines that we have. I mean, if I have to dress up and be at the hotel at 3pm, I'd be dead tired during the wedding man... 3pm is ridiculous. I'm just going to be there at 5 at the earliest. That's all.

I've put on weight. Don't know which dress to wear now....can't be too casual. I'm going to be stage man. Cold feet? not yet.....

I thought of S today and I just messaged him asking if he was free for coffee tonight. Turned out that he was meeting Cons and Lin for dinner. So we had dinner at NYDC and then coffee at his place.

He has many new additions to his home since the last time I went over. I think the last time I went over to his place was during the Xmas party last year. It's more cosy now and there are many personal touches that make his home really homely. We were just reminiscing....it's been a year since he last moved in! I still remember that time when J and I helped him to hose out his entire apartment with water when we were cleaning and scrubbing it. Now, the whole apartment is so full of soul.

Here's one of his poems, composed yesterday while crossing the road from Holland V to his place :

Withered wings along the pedestal
An angel stood within the stillness of dawn
Eyes sparkle
Question unanswered
The last stop
A love found.
S. Tarjalia

hehehehehehehehehhehee

I'm so excited about Bali!!!!!!!!!

what a crock of shit.....

Water
Give me water
Ice cold water
Any water
I'm so thirsty!
Attempt at Poetry - Poem1

The blister that he had been having for the past month or so has finally been diagnosed to be an ulcer. We decided to just go to a clinic today to see an ordinary doctor after being told that appointments with his regular doctors were not available today. So while we were chilling out and having a drink at TTS hospital atrium, he saw the "Walk-in Clinic" and we decided to just step in. Luckily there were no other patients so he saw the doctor pretty soon. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic cream and also a round of antibiotics to be taken over 10 days. The wait at the pharmacy was approximately 20 minutes. When we saw the pharmacist, she asked if he had any drug allergies. Apparently the blur doctor had prescribed a sulfur drug (even after being told that he had sulfur allergies!). The doctor could not be reached to change the medication as he had gone out for lunch. In the end we were advised to just take the medication and inform the doctor of any symptoms of allergy shows. (Symptoms could be rashes, swelling of the face or in serious cases, difficulty in breathing, to which a trip to the A&E was necessary!) We had no choice but to leave (and not wait for Mr Doctor to finish his lunch) as he had his physio appointment at AH and we were almost late.

Upon reaching AH, we realised that the doctor had only given him an MC till Friday. What about Saturday? The doc was (again) already told that he works on Saturday. So crappy!!!!! In the end, we took a cab back to TTS after physio to get the MC changed and also to change the medication. Due to the negligence of the insensitive doctor, we had to shuttle between the 2 hospitals today. Cab fare to and fro was a total of about $15. Costly, considering the fact that it need not be spent in the first place. The money spent is not the main concern. Can you imagine if he had taken the sulfur drug and developed serious symptoms of allergies in the middle of the night? Who's going to be responsible?