I received the following article through an email from Prakash, my Nepali friend whom I met while I was in Nepal in 2000.
If you've been to Nepal before, you'd be able to fully understand what he means when he talks about the people and especially the children.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Betraying the American Revolution in Nepal:
The Hypocrisy and Harm of US Policy
By Ramesh Burathoki
Student, Tribhuvan University
Nepal
Few Americans are aware of Nepal, much less that it is the site of a civil war. The American media, when they report on my country at all, serve up misleading propaganda in support of US imperialism. Nepal is not, as reported, a democracy. The army and police answer only to the King, who has the power to dismiss the democratically elected parliament and, did so in October 2002. There has breen armed struggle between the Royalist Forces of the Shah dynasty and Maoist rebels. George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, Christine Rocca and the other architects of US foreign policy would like the world to believe that the King and his forces are the 'good guys' and the Maoists the 'bad guys.' For those who wish to see through the distortions, simplifications and self-serving lies, here is the truth.
A ceasefire is now in effect and negotiations between the Maoists and the Palace are ongoing, but the constitutionally elected officers dismissed last October are not permitted to participate.
His Royal Highness King Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev took the throne a year and a half ago after his brother, King Birendra, his wife, sons, daughter and dog were slain at the palace. Gyanendra's son Paras, himself previously implicated in several murders and rapes and having been dismissed from university in the UK for drugs offences, and his mother were present but miraculously survived the carnage that killed Birendra's entire family. The official version is that Crown Prince Dependra slaughtered his family and shot himself in the left temple, although he was right handed, then hid the pistol 10 metres away; no Nepali believes it. Gyanendra then obtained the crown and the family's estimated $650 million private fortune, as well as
the 20% of our national budget devoted to his stylish upkeep.
The Hypocrisy and Harm of US Policy
By Ramesh Burathoki
Student, Tribhuvan University
Nepal
Few Americans are aware of Nepal, much less that it is the site of a civil war. The American media, when they report on my country at all, serve up misleading propaganda in support of US imperialism. Nepal is not, as reported, a democracy. The army and police answer only to the King, who has the power to dismiss the democratically elected parliament and, did so in October 2002. There has breen armed struggle between the Royalist Forces of the Shah dynasty and Maoist rebels. George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice, Christine Rocca and the other architects of US foreign policy would like the world to believe that the King and his forces are the 'good guys' and the Maoists the 'bad guys.' For those who wish to see through the distortions, simplifications and self-serving lies, here is the truth.
A ceasefire is now in effect and negotiations between the Maoists and the Palace are ongoing, but the constitutionally elected officers dismissed last October are not permitted to participate.
His Royal Highness King Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev took the throne a year and a half ago after his brother, King Birendra, his wife, sons, daughter and dog were slain at the palace. Gyanendra's son Paras, himself previously implicated in several murders and rapes and having been dismissed from university in the UK for drugs offences, and his mother were present but miraculously survived the carnage that killed Birendra's entire family. The official version is that Crown Prince Dependra slaughtered his family and shot himself in the left temple, although he was right handed, then hid the pistol 10 metres away; no Nepali believes it. Gyanendra then obtained the crown and the family's estimated $650 million private fortune, as well as
the 20% of our national budget devoted to his stylish upkeep.
Nepal is one of the world's poorest nations, with a per capita GDP of $210. In purchasing power parity, this would be the equivalent of $1327 per person for Nepalis, against $35,401 for Americans and $2358 for Indians. Most Nepalis live in rural villages without electricity, telephones, plumbing, education or health care. Life expectancy in some areas is 36 years; overall it is 59, against 63 for India and 77 for the US. Babies often die from polio, tetanus and other diseases, and 91% are born without medical assistance. Nepali women face a lifetime risk of 1 in 21 of death while giving birth, while Indian women have a 1 in 55 risk and Americans 1 in 470.
People often have to walk miles up and down mountains to fetch water and live several days' walk from the nearest road. Half are illiterate. A house is an unheated hut with no glass or screens upon the windows, and the toilet is the field. Most Nepalis are subsistence farmers who till their tiny fields by hand or with oxen, living medieval lives in the 21st century.
Foreign aid pours in, mostly from Europe and Japan, but less than 5% ever reaches the people. Government officials steal the rest. Roads, irrigation projects, schools, health clinics and other facilities never find their way from the grandiose plans, used by our government to bamboozle donors, to the backward villages. Our poverty is their sales pitch. Donated medical equipment is sold on the black market, so the few hospitals we have lack even the most basic equipment. The US has over 100 times more doctors per capita than Nepal, and most of the ones we have are greedy and incompetent, and live in the cities where they treat only those few who can pay. Bribery is the lubricant without which nothing in government happens.
People often have to walk miles up and down mountains to fetch water and live several days' walk from the nearest road. Half are illiterate. A house is an unheated hut with no glass or screens upon the windows, and the toilet is the field. Most Nepalis are subsistence farmers who till their tiny fields by hand or with oxen, living medieval lives in the 21st century.
Foreign aid pours in, mostly from Europe and Japan, but less than 5% ever reaches the people. Government officials steal the rest. Roads, irrigation projects, schools, health clinics and other facilities never find their way from the grandiose plans, used by our government to bamboozle donors, to the backward villages. Our poverty is their sales pitch. Donated medical equipment is sold on the black market, so the few hospitals we have lack even the most basic equipment. The US has over 100 times more doctors per capita than Nepal, and most of the ones we have are greedy and incompetent, and live in the cities where they treat only those few who can pay. Bribery is the lubricant without which nothing in government happens.
Our police and army extort money from villagers. They visit weddings and rape the brides. They gun down groups of children and summarily execute suspected Maoist collaborators, usually on the flimsiest pretexts. They torture suspected Maoists or collaborators, often by forcing them to watch soldiers rape their wives or daughters. All this is done to force upon the people a King and government that over 90% fear and detest. American and Belgian arms companies greedily supply the weapons used for such human rights abuses, and the US funds the King's attempt to maintain his hold on power and frustrate the will of the people. Now, the US and Nepal have signed an agreement to shield one another's nationals from the International Criminal Court, assuring that the torturers, murderers and rapists will never be brought to justice, giving further incentive to the brutal antidemocratic royalist forces. Over 150 journalists have been jailed or murdered to keep the world from knowing the truth. My writing this essay could lead to my imprisonment or death, but my silence would contribute to the veil of ignorance behind which those who exploit and abuse the gentle people of my land operate. Despite condemnation of the atrocities by Amnesty
International and the EU Parliament, westerners continue to support the oppression of Nepal. While the well-publicised use of adolescent soldiers and attacks on military personnel by the Maoist forces are regrettable, they pale in comparison to the large-scale, hushed-up atrocities of the Royalists.
The Royal Nepal Army has announced that it will "use any means necessary against those who insult the King." The police were ordered by the royally appointed Home Minister to "break the bones" of peaceful unarmed protesters, and recently shot down a group of students, provoking weeks of strikes and protests which were also dealt with cruelly.
International and the EU Parliament, westerners continue to support the oppression of Nepal. While the well-publicised use of adolescent soldiers and attacks on military personnel by the Maoist forces are regrettable, they pale in comparison to the large-scale, hushed-up atrocities of the Royalists.
The Royal Nepal Army has announced that it will "use any means necessary against those who insult the King." The police were ordered by the royally appointed Home Minister to "break the bones" of peaceful unarmed protesters, and recently shot down a group of students, provoking weeks of strikes and protests which were also dealt with cruelly.
The King and government officials lead lives of luxury while children die for lack of a few rupees' worth of medicine. They drink champagne while children drink water tainted with bacteria and arsenic. Sixty percent of Nepalis lack safe drinking water, and 54% of children are chronically malnourished. The children of the elite go to the US or Europe to school while village children go to work at age 5, never learning even to sign their names. I was fortunate: my father was a mercenary in the British army, so I was able to have a western education. Joining the British or Indian armies for men, and prostitution in India for women, are the only ways out of poverty so dire that most Nepalis would gladly trade places with an American dog or cat. The high-caste, Indo-Aryan Hindu Brahmins and Chhetris dominate commerce, education and the professions, systematically excluding the lower castes, people of Mongolian heritage, and Buddhists. There is now great alarm within the government over conversion of Dalits, or untouchables, to Christianity. Proselytising for Christianity is a crime in Nepal, but the 25% of the population constituted by the Dalits has suffered
horribly at the hands of the officially Hindu government, with an average annual income of $39. Meanwhile the King, who claims to be, and demands to be worshipped as, a god bestows favor upon his cronies.
horribly at the hands of the officially Hindu government, with an average annual income of $39. Meanwhile the King, who claims to be, and demands to be worshipped as, a god bestows favor upon his cronies.
So why did US Ambassador Michael Malinowski object when the King expressed an interest in negotiating with the Maoists to allow multi-party rule and bring peace to his impoverished, war-torn kingdom? Could it have anything to do with the recent contract with American oil companies to drill in south Nepal? Is that why the US government labeled the Maoists 'terrorists' and told the King to fight on? Given the fact that Mr. Bush's dread 'axis of evil' seems always and everywhere to run parallel to oil pipelines, it's a safe wager. After all, Saddam Hussain, the Bushes' erstwhile client and current demon du jour, has done far more good for his people in a few years than the Shah family has for ours in two centuries. Before you bombed their power and water plants and hospitals and imposed your sanctions, he had developed the kind of impressive educational, health care and utilities infrastructures that we can only dream of. Saddam is a thug and tyrant by anyone's reckoning, but your newfound concern for his ethical shortcomings has yet to extend to Gyanendra. The US is repeating its pattern of support for such brutal dictators as Pahlavi (the Shah of Iran, whose cruelty gave rise to Muslim militancy), Somoza, Noriega, Marcos and Pinochet.
Yes, there are some good Americans in Nepal, teachers and doctors and Peace Corps workers, whose courage, sacrifice and compassion inspire us, but their contributions cannot begin to offset the damage done by your foreign policy. It is interesting that American conservatives rightly condemned the Taliban's persecution of Christian missionaries, but Nepal's religious policies are met with a stony, dishonest silence. Consider this: the grievances that led the founders of your country to rebel against King George III were downright trivial compared with the grievances of the Nepalese people. A modest tea tax and quartering of troops are nothing compared with the privations and miseries of my country. You elect your leaders (well, usually), while ours are forced on us. Although I'm merely abrown-skinned, slanty-eyed, low-caste Buddhist, I learnt about Jesus in the UK. I read with admiration the Gospels your Mr. Bush says changed his heart. But I'm confused. He cannot possibly be talking about the same chap who said to love your enemies, love your neighbour as yourself, turn the other cheek, feed the hungry and care for the sick.
We do not want your SUVs (although your highly paid NGO officials here tool around in them), shopping malls, palatial houses, nuclear weapons and colour TVs. We would consider ourselves very blessed to have enough goat milk, rice and lentils to keep us alive, an open air school so our children could learn essential skills, a doctor to deliver and immunise our babies and a well to provide clean water in our village. Compared with your need to exploit any oil we might have to fuel your petrol-guzzling behemoths and massive homes, do the lives of our humble people count at all in your geopolitical and economic calculus? Did you learn anything in Vietnam about trying to force an undemocratic, elitist government on an unwilling populace? Are the ideals of liberty so stirringly enunciated in your Declaration of Independence for you only, or for all of God's children? Do the words of your Jesus mean anything at all? If so, and if you are unwilling to help us, at least leave us alone and let us govern ourselves as we see fit. We do not want your military advisors and CIA agents and M-16 rifles and night vision goggles; we would rather have doctors and teachers and medicines and books. What would George Washington and Jesus do?
If you want to help, write letters to the editor in your publications , let your elected officials know that you are concerned about the disappearance of democracy in Nepal, and spread the word that the Nepalese people want to leave the middle ages and join the world of the free.
If you want to help, write letters to the editor in your publications , let your elected officials know that you are concerned about the disappearance of democracy in Nepal, and spread the word that the Nepalese people want to leave the middle ages and join the world of the free.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
I have many things to do!! My exam papers have come in today for marking. That can still hold out for some time.
I am stressed and worried about the coming camp! Don't seem to get very good support from the other side. Have been asking for updates on the participant's details as they are crucial for planning of activities. But they have not responded back to me! What's going on man!? I am working too and I do not have the time during office hours to call them to ask for such things. After all, this is not my job and I should not be using my office hours to do my volunteer stuff! And when I want to settle down in the evening to do all these at home, I don't have the neccessary information that I need.
Camp is in about 1 month's time. Stressed!!!!
I am stressed and worried about the coming camp! Don't seem to get very good support from the other side. Have been asking for updates on the participant's details as they are crucial for planning of activities. But they have not responded back to me! What's going on man!? I am working too and I do not have the time during office hours to call them to ask for such things. After all, this is not my job and I should not be using my office hours to do my volunteer stuff! And when I want to settle down in the evening to do all these at home, I don't have the neccessary information that I need.
Camp is in about 1 month's time. Stressed!!!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
I was so exhausted today. Practically had lessons from 7:30am all the way till 5:30pm. Non-stop! My only free periods were the first 2 of the day and I spent it coaching one of my students who had to be sent home for a high body temperature. This girl has a regular high body temperature and she is not ill. But according to the MOE regulations, she had to be sent home as her temperature was at 37.7 today. She was already sent home yesterday for having a temperature of 37.6. Anyway, I sat down with her in the canteen and went through the maths past-year papers with her before she went home - so that she would lat least have some revision and time with me for questions and all that.
After spending those 2 periods with her, she was sent home and I began going to class for lessons. That was 9am. At 2pm, I was really feeling the exhaustion from standing and speaking for such a long time. I did not have any break - even recess was filled with students who had problems and papers to clear, marks to key in and so on. At 2pm, I told my students that I would see them at 2:15pm and I quickly rushed back to the staffroom to have a quick coffee and 2 slices of bread. Then I went back to the classroom to sit down with a small group of students who wanted to go through revision for the exams. I brought my coffee along with me and managed tro stay awake. It wasn't a bad session - I wasn't feeling so exhausted. I was sitting down with them and we were going through problem after problem for ttheir Emaths exams on Thursday.
When I finally finished with them at 5:30pm, I went back to the staffroom to work. I had to key in all the CA marks for Term 2 into the computer system and I had to get it done by tomorrow since I won't be around.
What a day.....
Oh, what was really nice about the day was that we had breakfast together before he sent me to school! :-)
After spending those 2 periods with her, she was sent home and I began going to class for lessons. That was 9am. At 2pm, I was really feeling the exhaustion from standing and speaking for such a long time. I did not have any break - even recess was filled with students who had problems and papers to clear, marks to key in and so on. At 2pm, I told my students that I would see them at 2:15pm and I quickly rushed back to the staffroom to have a quick coffee and 2 slices of bread. Then I went back to the classroom to sit down with a small group of students who wanted to go through revision for the exams. I brought my coffee along with me and managed tro stay awake. It wasn't a bad session - I wasn't feeling so exhausted. I was sitting down with them and we were going through problem after problem for ttheir Emaths exams on Thursday.
When I finally finished with them at 5:30pm, I went back to the staffroom to work. I had to key in all the CA marks for Term 2 into the computer system and I had to get it done by tomorrow since I won't be around.
What a day.....
Oh, what was really nice about the day was that we had breakfast together before he sent me to school! :-)
Monday, May 26, 2003
Exams start on Thursday!! Whooppee!!! That means no more teaching until July! Woohoo!!!! What a relief!
My papers come in this Thursday too. Big thank you to the Exam Committee for arranging for the Emaths paper for that day! This gives me lots of time to complete my marking and I can do it at my own pleasure and pace. Got the whole of June to mark! I don't think I will ever get such a luxury again in my entire teaching career - all thanks to sars.
My UPA leave for this Wednesday was approved by the P. Tomorrow will be the final day for any revision for Maths and I have yet to let my students know. I think they will panic. Then again, they mustn't be too reliant on me, right?
Meeting Jonathan and Boon Hiong tomorrow evening at West Mall to discuss Jonathan's wedding ceremony details. With me and Boon Hiong being the emcees, I think we'll have a good time disturbing the couple! But then again...hmm...don't know his wife too well so it may not work out. Besides, the rest of the invited guests from our group (colleagues from my school) are not the type that will be game for games. It may even be boring...you know, the usual stuff and the usual procedures. I think weddings should be fun and lively! Provided the couple is sporting...
My papers come in this Thursday too. Big thank you to the Exam Committee for arranging for the Emaths paper for that day! This gives me lots of time to complete my marking and I can do it at my own pleasure and pace. Got the whole of June to mark! I don't think I will ever get such a luxury again in my entire teaching career - all thanks to sars.
My UPA leave for this Wednesday was approved by the P. Tomorrow will be the final day for any revision for Maths and I have yet to let my students know. I think they will panic. Then again, they mustn't be too reliant on me, right?
Meeting Jonathan and Boon Hiong tomorrow evening at West Mall to discuss Jonathan's wedding ceremony details. With me and Boon Hiong being the emcees, I think we'll have a good time disturbing the couple! But then again...hmm...don't know his wife too well so it may not work out. Besides, the rest of the invited guests from our group (colleagues from my school) are not the type that will be game for games. It may even be boring...you know, the usual stuff and the usual procedures. I think weddings should be fun and lively! Provided the couple is sporting...
Sunday, May 25, 2003
I have 3 weddings to attend in June! This is a record for me. I can't attend one of them and that is kind of a relief on my pocket. Jonathan has asked me to be the emcee for his wedding dinner. He had wanted me to do the Mandarin part and I nearly freaked out. Anyways, we've settled that I will do the English part.
The flow's been pretty heavy these 2 days. Don't think I've had such heavy going flow in the recent months.
Mum's going for the day surgery at Mt Alvernia this coming Wednesday. I will apply for UPA leave to be with her. Hope it will be a smooth and simple one. Just realised that we're doing the staff training for the resutls entry in the school cockpit system on Wednesday. Some of my students will also be looking for me for last minute revision for their maths papers on Thursday. Wednesday does not look like a good day to be away from school. But my mum's more important than all else!!
The flow's been pretty heavy these 2 days. Don't think I've had such heavy going flow in the recent months.
Mum's going for the day surgery at Mt Alvernia this coming Wednesday. I will apply for UPA leave to be with her. Hope it will be a smooth and simple one. Just realised that we're doing the staff training for the resutls entry in the school cockpit system on Wednesday. Some of my students will also be looking for me for last minute revision for their maths papers on Thursday. Wednesday does not look like a good day to be away from school. But my mum's more important than all else!!
Saturday, May 24, 2003
I feel as if we've not really spent quality time with each other over the past 3 days or so although we did meet up. I think it's because we've been meeting up after work and rather late too and I am always very tired and drained of energy. My period is giving me the cramps and I don't like this feeling. It's uncomfortable and painful. I feel bloated and my lower abdomen just feels swollen and tight. My thighs are aching too and so is my back.
Think it's PMS I've been having over the past 2 days...all the unnecessary but very real and very "me" kind of anxiety was just coming at me.
Sometimes I cannot tell if it's my past or is it just me that makes me feel all this anxiety and fear. If I had not gone through all that in the past, would I feel this way and feel like that? Would I have more confidence than now?
I miss you baby....
Think it's PMS I've been having over the past 2 days...all the unnecessary but very real and very "me" kind of anxiety was just coming at me.
Sometimes I cannot tell if it's my past or is it just me that makes me feel all this anxiety and fear. If I had not gone through all that in the past, would I feel this way and feel like that? Would I have more confidence than now?
I miss you baby....
How shall I put it? hmmm....
I am happy and excited about the new lifestyle now, but at the same time I have fears too. I think that sometimes I am just too affected by my past. These old familiar feelings come back to haunt me and I keep trying to tell myself that I should not worry and that I must look ahead and not back. I should take everything positively and I should not fear. When he asked me that question just now, I tried to be rationale and I had to tell myself that it was nothing at all. I should trust him. In fact, it's not that I don't - I do. But the old familiar feeling of having the trust betrayed when you gave in too much just came back and I felt so fearful of having to face situations like those in the past again.
What is with some people? I have a colleague who lives in the block next to mine and he drives too. He's married and has a daughter and he's Malay. There shouldn't be any problem or suspicions to be aroused if he gives me a lift to work everyday. But despite the clarity of it all, I will not ask for a lift. I doesn't even cross my mind at all. I don't understand how some people can blatantly and thick-skinly ask to be driven to work. Are they really that helpless? Don't they feel that they will always be oweing that colleague a favour? I mean, I'm the girlfriend and I don't even ask to be driven, I don't even expect to be driven to work, and I have no problems travelling to work myself. So, what is with these people? Sometimes I cannot understand the female of the species myself....
I'm not angry or bitter or pissed or anything about this whole thing. He himself decided that he would not be her driver and he did ask for my opinion after all. I guess I am just appalled at how some thickskinned some people can be. Reminds me of some of my own colleagues at work. Absolutely no consideration for others at all.
I am happy and excited about the new lifestyle now, but at the same time I have fears too. I think that sometimes I am just too affected by my past. These old familiar feelings come back to haunt me and I keep trying to tell myself that I should not worry and that I must look ahead and not back. I should take everything positively and I should not fear. When he asked me that question just now, I tried to be rationale and I had to tell myself that it was nothing at all. I should trust him. In fact, it's not that I don't - I do. But the old familiar feeling of having the trust betrayed when you gave in too much just came back and I felt so fearful of having to face situations like those in the past again.
What is with some people? I have a colleague who lives in the block next to mine and he drives too. He's married and has a daughter and he's Malay. There shouldn't be any problem or suspicions to be aroused if he gives me a lift to work everyday. But despite the clarity of it all, I will not ask for a lift. I doesn't even cross my mind at all. I don't understand how some people can blatantly and thick-skinly ask to be driven to work. Are they really that helpless? Don't they feel that they will always be oweing that colleague a favour? I mean, I'm the girlfriend and I don't even ask to be driven, I don't even expect to be driven to work, and I have no problems travelling to work myself. So, what is with these people? Sometimes I cannot understand the female of the species myself....
I'm not angry or bitter or pissed or anything about this whole thing. He himself decided that he would not be her driver and he did ask for my opinion after all. I guess I am just appalled at how some thickskinned some people can be. Reminds me of some of my own colleagues at work. Absolutely no consideration for others at all.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
He got the car today! We went for our first spin together. It was also his first time on the expressway in a car. We drove all the way to Changi beach and than had dinner at Changi Village. Then we were saying....we drove all the way here to eat "zhi cha"? (It wasn't even tasty)
It was great. He was relaxed and cool throughout the journey. There were times I gave little instructions here and there. But I think I get carried away to easily and he told me that I need not tell him exactly what to do for everything. :-) heh..naggy me....
I am starting a car expenses spreadsheet for him so that we can track and monitor our expenditure on the car.
Very tired now...got to go to bed cos he will be coming by to send me to work tomorrow. Better not be late...
Been exercising fhe past 2 days in the school gym. Hope this will carry on....
It was great. He was relaxed and cool throughout the journey. There were times I gave little instructions here and there. But I think I get carried away to easily and he told me that I need not tell him exactly what to do for everything. :-) heh..naggy me....
I am starting a car expenses spreadsheet for him so that we can track and monitor our expenditure on the car.
Very tired now...got to go to bed cos he will be coming by to send me to work tomorrow. Better not be late...
Been exercising fhe past 2 days in the school gym. Hope this will carry on....
Monday, May 19, 2003
We went to Little India last night. We wanted to go to Serangoon Plaza as he found a listed branch of Auto-Bacs there. It seems that that particular branch is closed now. Anyway, we managed to buy some of the accessories at the one-and-only Mustafa Centre. Speaking of which, its really a HUGE store will almost everything that you can think of under its roof for sale! From pink-coloured gel pens to car perfumes, branded watches to tiger balm oil, handphones to PDAs, carpets to branded sports wear, imported Indian rice to maggi mee....it's really "a store and more"!
We had thosai, chappatti and masala chicken at a little coffeeshop opposite Mustafa's. After which I requested for a walk down the red light district of Desker. As we walked along the dimly-lit back alley, there seemed to be an eerie silence in the air as shadows and silhouettes passed us. Men stood in front of the open doors, arms folded, checking out the lady sitting inside watching television. Some gathered at makeshift stalls selling x-rated VCDs under a small white flouroscent lamp. The ladies seemed undisturbed by the staring men. Some leaned forward with interest, fanning themselves coyly with a paper fan. Some just sat and watched television, oblivious to the roving eyes. Some looked like women, but were not.
Everytime I quickly glanced into the rooms, I would always feel a mixed feeling of wonderment, curiousity and embarrassment. Why do I feel embarrassed? I guess it's because I do not know how these women feel to see another of their species looking in at them. I was obviously not there to give them business. I was there to gain an eye-opener. How do they feel when they see me? Many times I looked into the eyes of these women and I quickly looked away. I guess I was afraid that they would not like the idea of me looking at them.
On hindsight, I think it's because I am judging them already. I think that they would be uncomfortable when I look at them. I think that I might have made them ashamed when they see me looking at them. But all these is just what I think! I am judging them. I think that's why I am embarassed.
We had thosai, chappatti and masala chicken at a little coffeeshop opposite Mustafa's. After which I requested for a walk down the red light district of Desker. As we walked along the dimly-lit back alley, there seemed to be an eerie silence in the air as shadows and silhouettes passed us. Men stood in front of the open doors, arms folded, checking out the lady sitting inside watching television. Some gathered at makeshift stalls selling x-rated VCDs under a small white flouroscent lamp. The ladies seemed undisturbed by the staring men. Some leaned forward with interest, fanning themselves coyly with a paper fan. Some just sat and watched television, oblivious to the roving eyes. Some looked like women, but were not.
Everytime I quickly glanced into the rooms, I would always feel a mixed feeling of wonderment, curiousity and embarrassment. Why do I feel embarrassed? I guess it's because I do not know how these women feel to see another of their species looking in at them. I was obviously not there to give them business. I was there to gain an eye-opener. How do they feel when they see me? Many times I looked into the eyes of these women and I quickly looked away. I guess I was afraid that they would not like the idea of me looking at them.
On hindsight, I think it's because I am judging them already. I think that they would be uncomfortable when I look at them. I think that I might have made them ashamed when they see me looking at them. But all these is just what I think! I am judging them. I think that's why I am embarassed.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
I slept from 10pm last night till 11am this morning! It's been a long long time since I had such a good rest.
I was dreaming about him. In my dream, we were sort of sitting at a table and he was on my right. Then suddenly I woke up and he was kissing me goodnight. It was so nice....
I bought a a new hair-dryer and a new fan for my room. Figured that I need a good hairdryer that can blow cold air too. Too much heat is not good and it will give split ends one day. At the moment, my hair is very healthy! No split ends or dry ends despite its length! The fan is something that I've always wanted to get. The old one can still be used but I need to turn it on full blast for it to work - it's too cold for me! So that one can be left in the living room. This new one is compact and can fit into the corner snugly.
Tomorrow, we will issue thermometers to all our students and we will carry out temperature taking twice a day. Once at 7:30am in the morning and another at 12:15pm. The procedures were spelt out very clearly to us, teachers. We will not have any flag raising ceremonies except on Mondays. From next week onwards, all students will report to school and go straight to their classrooms. When the teachers come into class, they are supposed to have their thermometers, a piece of tissue paper and their temperature log book with them. Once they greet the teachers, they will put the thermometer into their mouth and take their temperatures. When they remove the thermometer, they must record their temperature and have their buddy next to them counter-check that the temperature recorded is correct. Then, they must use the piece of tissue paper to wipe their thermometer clean and then drop the tissue into the white plastic bags issued to the class vice-chariperson. The vice-chairperson will then tie up the plastic bag and dispose of it in the big bin outside the toilet and wash their hands really clean before they come back to the classroom.
Any student with a temperature of 38 and will be sent home. Those with a temperature of 37.5 - 37.9 will be sent to the canteen where they will rest and then have their temperatures taken again. If it falls to below 37.5, they will be sent back to class. If it is still at 37.5 - 37.9, they will be sent home.
I believe, no matter how very systematic the procedures are, there will be hiccups along the way. Let's see about it tomorrow...
I was dreaming about him. In my dream, we were sort of sitting at a table and he was on my right. Then suddenly I woke up and he was kissing me goodnight. It was so nice....
I bought a a new hair-dryer and a new fan for my room. Figured that I need a good hairdryer that can blow cold air too. Too much heat is not good and it will give split ends one day. At the moment, my hair is very healthy! No split ends or dry ends despite its length! The fan is something that I've always wanted to get. The old one can still be used but I need to turn it on full blast for it to work - it's too cold for me! So that one can be left in the living room. This new one is compact and can fit into the corner snugly.
Tomorrow, we will issue thermometers to all our students and we will carry out temperature taking twice a day. Once at 7:30am in the morning and another at 12:15pm. The procedures were spelt out very clearly to us, teachers. We will not have any flag raising ceremonies except on Mondays. From next week onwards, all students will report to school and go straight to their classrooms. When the teachers come into class, they are supposed to have their thermometers, a piece of tissue paper and their temperature log book with them. Once they greet the teachers, they will put the thermometer into their mouth and take their temperatures. When they remove the thermometer, they must record their temperature and have their buddy next to them counter-check that the temperature recorded is correct. Then, they must use the piece of tissue paper to wipe their thermometer clean and then drop the tissue into the white plastic bags issued to the class vice-chariperson. The vice-chairperson will then tie up the plastic bag and dispose of it in the big bin outside the toilet and wash their hands really clean before they come back to the classroom.
Any student with a temperature of 38 and will be sent home. Those with a temperature of 37.5 - 37.9 will be sent to the canteen where they will rest and then have their temperatures taken again. If it falls to below 37.5, they will be sent back to class. If it is still at 37.5 - 37.9, they will be sent home.
I believe, no matter how very systematic the procedures are, there will be hiccups along the way. Let's see about it tomorrow...
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Amazingly, I don't feel the monday blues at all. I think it's because I have all my lessons planned and my materials are all ready for the week.
The pressure of the coming examinations are building up. I am so worried that I will not be able to complete the syllabus with my students. The Maths tests that I gave last week were disastrous. Especially the A Maths test! Out of a class of 40, only about 5 passed. The rest scored less than 5! These kids have not been revising their work well enough and this makes me so worried for them. The interesting thing is, there was one student who had a PERFECT score!
It's Vesak Day this coming Thursday. That means we miss school again. I am so pressed for time and I am trying so hard to squeeze out time to see my students after school for extra lessons.
I bought my mum a new handphone for Mother's Day. :-)
The pressure of the coming examinations are building up. I am so worried that I will not be able to complete the syllabus with my students. The Maths tests that I gave last week were disastrous. Especially the A Maths test! Out of a class of 40, only about 5 passed. The rest scored less than 5! These kids have not been revising their work well enough and this makes me so worried for them. The interesting thing is, there was one student who had a PERFECT score!
It's Vesak Day this coming Thursday. That means we miss school again. I am so pressed for time and I am trying so hard to squeeze out time to see my students after school for extra lessons.
I bought my mum a new handphone for Mother's Day. :-)
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Oh, I have extra lessons with my 2 maths classes tomorrow from 7:30am to 10am. Was browsing through Cold Storage just now trying to think of what I could get for them. I found it!! Sunmaid Raisins!! It's a good deal because it's cheap ($2.90 for 12 small boxes) and its nutritious food! Also bought sweets to give away as prizes for my CME class this coming monday. Giving them a quiz and prizes to go with it! :-)
HEY!! The my left speaker suddenly went bust! So irritating! This is the 2nd time this has happened! I thought I really did a good job in sticking those wires into the sub-woofer that time?!?! I made sure it was really inside and really secure! It SO troublesome to have to crawlk under my table, drag out the subwoofer and then fiddle around with all the wires again. What a chore!
Argh....feels as if my left ear is deaf...
Speaking of deaf, the sign language lessons are real fun!
HEY!! The my left speaker suddenly went bust! So irritating! This is the 2nd time this has happened! I thought I really did a good job in sticking those wires into the sub-woofer that time?!?! I made sure it was really inside and really secure! It SO troublesome to have to crawlk under my table, drag out the subwoofer and then fiddle around with all the wires again. What a chore!
Argh....feels as if my left ear is deaf...
Speaking of deaf, the sign language lessons are real fun!
So I queued at M1 for more than an hour thinking that I was going to get the super deal of the nokia 6610 at $68 for my mum. To my utter disappointment, I was told that the promotion was only applicable to prime plans and above crap. So hers being the family 1+1 line, I cannot get the phone at that price. In the end, I got the simple 2210 at $198 for her.
Queued for 1hr 15min to get something that I can get on any other normal day.
Oh well, it's Mothers' Day... :-)
Queued for 1hr 15min to get something that I can get on any other normal day.
Oh well, it's Mothers' Day... :-)
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
I don't like to go to bed feeling angry and upset.
Sometimes, I don't have a choice.
What do you do when you got a sibling who keeps sucking off your parents? A sibling who's old enough to take care of himself/herself? And who is already a working adult?
Oh, and what do you do when your parents seem to allow themselves to be taken advantage of by that bugger?
You go to bed feeling angry and upset.
Sometimes, I don't have a choice.
What do you do when you got a sibling who keeps sucking off your parents? A sibling who's old enough to take care of himself/herself? And who is already a working adult?
Oh, and what do you do when your parents seem to allow themselves to be taken advantage of by that bugger?
You go to bed feeling angry and upset.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Have been living like a workaholic for the past 2 days. I actually feel happy to "do my stuff" at work. It's taht satisfaction that you're getting things done and clearing up future time. But then again, I always clear future time...but the the so-called future comes, there'll always be something to take up that time. Vicious...
Will be conducting extra lessons every saturday until the exams. J and I went to see the P yesterday to ask about the sars measures that that the school is taking for Saturdays. A plan has been made out. Then, we thought about why there seemed to be insufficient time for us (in particular, me and J) to complete our syllabus on time. We explored other options and even went up to talk to the HODs together (the P and us) about reducing the exam syllabus. Then, when I went to speak to the other Maths teachers of the same level, they told me, to my horror, that they are almost completing their syllabus! And I'm like about 3-4 chapters behind!? Then Mrs G reminded me that I was away on MC for an entire week after the sars break.
I actually forgot all about that.
And that on miserable week os MC is causing me all this headache now.
Anyway, life at school now is on the whole pretty good.
One more thing - I am attending an informal sign language course at a friends' place every Wednesday. She has 3 very big and wonderful cats! I love those feline creatures!! Her cats are huge and very tame. The only thing now is, I just discovered that I could be allergic to cat hairs. I sneeze non-stop when I'm at her place!! I had to wear a mask the last time I was there and amazingly I did not sneeze. Then when I took the mask off to drink water, I began sneezing immediately! It's unbearable. I find it so difficult to concentrate when my eyes are tearing away. How can I be allergic to cat hairs? I had a cat once and I was fine. I think it's basically because her cats shed ALOT. And I mean ALOT. There was SO MUCH cat hairs stuck on his pants when we went home after the last session! And he was sitting on her sofa...
Tomorrow is lesson 3 of our course. I have not been practicing....
Will be conducting extra lessons every saturday until the exams. J and I went to see the P yesterday to ask about the sars measures that that the school is taking for Saturdays. A plan has been made out. Then, we thought about why there seemed to be insufficient time for us (in particular, me and J) to complete our syllabus on time. We explored other options and even went up to talk to the HODs together (the P and us) about reducing the exam syllabus. Then, when I went to speak to the other Maths teachers of the same level, they told me, to my horror, that they are almost completing their syllabus! And I'm like about 3-4 chapters behind!? Then Mrs G reminded me that I was away on MC for an entire week after the sars break.
I actually forgot all about that.
And that on miserable week os MC is causing me all this headache now.
Anyway, life at school now is on the whole pretty good.
One more thing - I am attending an informal sign language course at a friends' place every Wednesday. She has 3 very big and wonderful cats! I love those feline creatures!! Her cats are huge and very tame. The only thing now is, I just discovered that I could be allergic to cat hairs. I sneeze non-stop when I'm at her place!! I had to wear a mask the last time I was there and amazingly I did not sneeze. Then when I took the mask off to drink water, I began sneezing immediately! It's unbearable. I find it so difficult to concentrate when my eyes are tearing away. How can I be allergic to cat hairs? I had a cat once and I was fine. I think it's basically because her cats shed ALOT. And I mean ALOT. There was SO MUCH cat hairs stuck on his pants when we went home after the last session! And he was sitting on her sofa...
Tomorrow is lesson 3 of our course. I have not been practicing....
Saturday, May 03, 2003
What a great feeling to wake up and then go back to sleep, and then wake up, and then go back to sleep, and then wake up again to find that you still have time to do what you need to do before you go out. Ahhhhh.....
Meeting at Awwa at 2pm later. I am printing out all the stuff that we prepared on out part. Will blow their socks off later. I don't think they expect us to be so damn organized. Haha. Make them eat their own comments back. Hmpf!! Mess with the HFC volunteers?!?! Just you wait...I emailed "Mr Ego" that day asking them what's already been done on their part. MY GOD. They have not even sent out the pamphlets to the kids. He has not yet contacted "The Ex-Commando" for that "motivational talk".
Ok before I start blowing up, I must give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was sars that caused everything on their end to slow down (or even stop). I might be a good idea that the pamphlets are not out yet because we should add the extra bit about us taking proper sars measures during the camp so as to allay the parental fears about this camp. Hmm...but that would mean that "Deadly Stare" will have to do the pamplets all over again. Hah! Better be careful later...she might shoot her stares at me...
Meeting at Awwa at 2pm later. I am printing out all the stuff that we prepared on out part. Will blow their socks off later. I don't think they expect us to be so damn organized. Haha. Make them eat their own comments back. Hmpf!! Mess with the HFC volunteers?!?! Just you wait...I emailed "Mr Ego" that day asking them what's already been done on their part. MY GOD. They have not even sent out the pamphlets to the kids. He has not yet contacted "The Ex-Commando" for that "motivational talk".
Ok before I start blowing up, I must give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was sars that caused everything on their end to slow down (or even stop). I might be a good idea that the pamphlets are not out yet because we should add the extra bit about us taking proper sars measures during the camp so as to allay the parental fears about this camp. Hmm...but that would mean that "Deadly Stare" will have to do the pamplets all over again. Hah! Better be careful later...she might shoot her stares at me...
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I feel horrible now. I am sure I had a fever this afternoon and my head threatening to break into one major headache. I just measured my temperature just now and its ok. But my whole body is aching like crazy! I am having muscle pains...feel as if my entire torso, back and front, is blue-black. The slightest press or rub hurts like I've been punched. I am in pain.
Maybe it's got to do with the hangover from last night. It's been a long time since I downed my body with so much alcohol. What a horrible feeling. I don't ever want to subject myself to tuch torture anymore. It certainly isn't worth it. Well, I go hope what I have now is due to the excessive alcohol and not anything else. Headache, fever, muscle aches....to be honest, I'm a little worried.
Maybe it's got to do with the hangover from last night. It's been a long time since I downed my body with so much alcohol. What a horrible feeling. I don't ever want to subject myself to tuch torture anymore. It certainly isn't worth it. Well, I go hope what I have now is due to the excessive alcohol and not anything else. Headache, fever, muscle aches....to be honest, I'm a little worried.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)