How shall I put it? hmmm....

I am happy and excited about the new lifestyle now, but at the same time I have fears too. I think that sometimes I am just too affected by my past. These old familiar feelings come back to haunt me and I keep trying to tell myself that I should not worry and that I must look ahead and not back. I should take everything positively and I should not fear. When he asked me that question just now, I tried to be rationale and I had to tell myself that it was nothing at all. I should trust him. In fact, it's not that I don't - I do. But the old familiar feeling of having the trust betrayed when you gave in too much just came back and I felt so fearful of having to face situations like those in the past again.

What is with some people? I have a colleague who lives in the block next to mine and he drives too. He's married and has a daughter and he's Malay. There shouldn't be any problem or suspicions to be aroused if he gives me a lift to work everyday. But despite the clarity of it all, I will not ask for a lift. I doesn't even cross my mind at all. I don't understand how some people can blatantly and thick-skinly ask to be driven to work. Are they really that helpless? Don't they feel that they will always be oweing that colleague a favour? I mean, I'm the girlfriend and I don't even ask to be driven, I don't even expect to be driven to work, and I have no problems travelling to work myself. So, what is with these people? Sometimes I cannot understand the female of the species myself....

I'm not angry or bitter or pissed or anything about this whole thing. He himself decided that he would not be her driver and he did ask for my opinion after all. I guess I am just appalled at how some thickskinned some people can be. Reminds me of some of my own colleagues at work. Absolutely no consideration for others at all.