What an ass I am. I don't pity him anymore. I have learnt my lesson. I want my money back. But I am afraid that if I were to give any deadlines to him, there will not be any way that he can pay either. Unless of course I approach his mother or his family member. The way things were going over the phone just now, I sense that he was pissed off and I was pissed off too and I know that I get confused and lost when I'm pissed. I lose rationality. Honestly, I want to make the settlement as amicable as possible but he short-fused for nothing and I got angry at him for giving himself the right to be angry.

I hate to have to ask for money. I really hate it. Even if its my money and I have every right. I hate it. Why is it so difficult? Why can't I be like other girls who can just easily call up their ex-bf's mother to ask for the money back?

I cannot wait to settle the whole thing. I want to wash him out of my life completely. Here I am desperately trying to clear my bills and there he is not treating this as top priority. Min, Jen and Qing, you were so right. Its not his priority to pay back these loans. I called one of the banks to clarify certain issues and found out that there was no transactions made in the entire of 2001. But the outstanding balance is still very near to the credit limit. He has only be paying off the interest! He emailed saying that he tried to get loans to pay off these 2 accounts but were not successful, and that he will keep trying so that he can pay me back. He's still using those old methods! Leopard never changes its spots! He still has not learnt his "lesson"? Loan after loan after loan....a whole life of debt...he can lead his life anyway he wants but I want to be free. I don't want to have anything to do with him or with debts anymore...

Had the strong urge to throw away everything that he gave me. They're all stashed away in the top-shelf of my cupboard, behind my clothes. I figured it would be too troublesome and I would be wasting my time.