It's been such a long time since I last blogged. Almost like this diary thing is dead.

J is getting married tomorrow. I can't bring myself to congratulate her. I can only say "all the best". I pray that she will be happy and I hope things will work out for her. Personally, I think nothing can be compared to the physical intimacy that she has to psycho herself to accept. I don't think that I will ever be able to do that.

Things have come to a point where we all don't talk too much about it anymore. We used to talk alot about it and we used to try to help her get out of the whole thing. There was still chance that she would do something about it herself, to reac hout for her own happiness and to break away from these chains. We gave her a million and one opinions, suggestions and what not. But ultimately the decision still lies with her. She chose to please her mother and to betray herself. She chose not to hurt or embarrass him and to trade her whole life for it. What more can we say? I have so many things to talk to her about. To warn her about. But I think it's too late to talk now. I'm torn between helping a friend and breaking up her marraige.

I want to scold her. I want to say "You brought this upon yourself", "You had choices which you refused to see nor use" etc etc. But it's too late and its pointless now.

All the best Jay. I love you alot and the last thing I want is to see you hurt and unhappy. I can't bring myself to like your husband because of what is is forcing you into, but that's beside the point and that has nothing to do with you. I will be here should you need my help in anything at all. You still have us to run to if things don't work out. I just hope you don't bottle it all inside and hide it from us for fear of us saying "I told you so". I will never say that to you because it's just not constructive anymore.

Take care Jay.