This sucks!

I'm totally chised off at work.

We had SMC meeting today and right towards the end of the meeting, the bomb was dropped.

"Ok look at this list here and take out your diaries. This is just tentative and you have to let us know if you're not available for any these dates"

And she flashes a list of dates for meetings and work activities that takes us through to 31 Dec 2006. We look at all the meetings and staff ranking and SEM discussions and strategic planning discussions and etc that will be coming our way.

My first thought was : So where's the time for teaching?

Then another bomb was dropped.

"We are trying to release all SMC members by 28 Nov so that you can go for a longer break. But the tentative date of release of the N level results are on 15 Dec so we all have to be back by that. Remember, this is your only holiday until Dec 2007. For March holidays next year, we will not have any holiday as we have the EV team to evaluate our school in that week. And we're moving in June so you can forget about holidays in June as well."

WTF?!?!

Count. 29 Nov - 14 Dec. 16 days. Only. I only have these 16 days to rest. To take a short trip. Put my feet up. And its not like you will immediately put your feet up from Day 1. I foresee that there will be things I need to do in school even in those 16 days. Prepare for 2007? Plans for student leadership for 2007? When am I going to have time to do all that?

This is crazy. It's so shitty!!!

It's not like I'm not enthusastic about work. I do find the new things coming up very interesting and very challenging. Lots to learn and to do. I am interested in it all. But the notion of not having much of a break from work at all really really puts me off.

I feel like a puppet. My time is not within my control. My schedule is subject to change, even at the last minute. People just come in and take away my time so conveniently. And it's not like I can say no. These are official meetings. I'm already thinking of using Saturdays to complete my work. My marking is so behind time. My students' exams are coming and I haven't officially started intensive revision for them yet. My band needs activities and I want so much to do things for the band too. All these are put on hold because....what do I have? That's right! Meetings.

Sigh....

After today's meeting, I was so moody. I feel like a puppet. I like doing the things I have to do but the thought of not having any break at all....just.... sigh.... sucks.

Suddenly, I feel so tired.

I have a work review session with the VP this Friday. I need to complete the work review document before I see her and pass her my record book as well. I'm in such deep shit. I've already chosen the very last slot to see her and still I do not have time to do these 2 items for her. I'm so screwed. I think I won't be able to sleep tonight. Got to do the work review and stuff. Can't use tomorrow because there are other things to do in school.

I've been so busy doing little things here and there. Little because these items do not really contribute to the big picture that I want the school to have as a leadership structure. I jsut haven't had the time to sit and put my thoughts into pen and paper. My thoughts about the leadership structure. Oh yes, I've thought about them. They're all in my head. *point* I just haven't had the time to WRITE them out.

Things are feeling a little hot at my ass. I hope I'm not going to get my ass burnt. *look*

HOW?!?!?