I'm listening to Crucify My Love by X-Japan now.

It reminds me of our first few weeks together. That time when we went for our BBQ at east coast. This song puts me in such a dreamy mood. It reminds me of him. It's soothing. I am calmed by this song and its melody. Somehow it sounds kind of sad, but then again, its up to your interpretation isn't it? It's up to the current mood you are in and how you want to interprete it.

VOILA. That's how I should look at my current mood now. Like a song. I can hear it, I can feel it. How I choose to let it affect me, whether it soothes me, saddens me or cheers me up, its all up to how I want to interprete it. Again, I CHOOSE how I want to interprete it, right?

Oh well, the song's beautiful. I'm replaying it over and over again. (I am inspired to play the piano like the way the piece is played in the melody) I am calmed. But I know when I switch off the radio later, my duties are still sitting there waiting for my completion, my problems are still there waiting to be solved, my negative feelings towards the unseen competition will still be there. It's all there, waiting. I cannot procrastinate. I must do something about it.

That's the crux of the whole problem. I cannot procrastinate. If these were things that I could postpone to later dates, I would'nt be so stressed. I cannot procrastinate. The duties cannot wair.

But I'm so tired. So very tired.