It was so frightening. I was watching him intently as she chided him for refusing his bottle. His face was cramped up as if he was in some sort of silent scream. My fear mounted as we watched and waited for him to let out his breathe. Those few seconds felt like minutes. Suddenly, he lurched backward and his face began to turn blue. He still had not made any noise although his mouth was wide open and his eyes were tightly shut. He looked like he was choking in his silent scream. Mother shouted at her and rushed towards her. I was so frightened that I really jumped up and the first thing I thought of was to call for a doctor. Things happened so quickly in the next few seconds. Before I knew it, he was in his father's arms and he had started letting out a long and loud scream (which was a good sign as he was finally BREATHING). Mother was still frantically trying to pat his back and was still screaming at her. She was upset too and she shouted back. With the baby crying (finally), mother almost in tears and the exchange of loud voices, the other child began to cry and I realised that in all our frenzy at the apparent life danger of the younger one, the older one witnessed a dreadful and very frightening scene. I scooped her up into my arms and took her into the room. She was crying loudly. I was trembling and was trying my best to calm her down as I struggled to calm my own frayed nerves. She sat in my arms and I rocked her through and fro, holding her close to me and I kept telling her that everything was ok and that I love her. Finally, I sat by the window and pointed out at the lights and the swimming pool below and managed to distract her. She stopped crying and I was then calm enough to sing to her. We sat by the window for quite sometime, then mother came into the room to see is she was alright.

I still feel the shivers when I recall the scene when Julian's face literally turned blue right before my eyes. I felt this sense of immense fear and hopelessness. I did not know what to do. I thought of calling for a doctor or rushing him to the nearest clinic but even that alone something told me that it would take too long. I really don't know what to do if he had not started crying at all. It was really really frightening. It's unimaginable.

After Rachel had stopped crying, I took her out to the living room. My sister had taken Julian (who had recovered) downstairs for a walk. Her in-laws came home and her mother-in-law took Rachel to bed. After some time, I decided to look for my sis downstairs. I was afraid that she too would be psychologically and emotionally affected by what had happened. She was stronger than I thought. She seemed ok when I saw her downstairs and Julian was fast asleep in her arms.

I sigh a huge sigh of relief within me. Had anything major happened just now, everyone would be devastated. I realise that the life of a young baby is so very fragile. Little accidents like that can happen anytime and help would be too far away. I asked my sister if she knew any basic first aid like CPR for babies. She said she knew. I think it is of utmost importance for any parent to have basic first aid skills. I cannot imagine myself every put in such a situation - I would be totally lost and frantic. My sister said something was very true. She said that the situation was a crucial one but the adults need to try to stay calm. If the adults are frantic and start shouting, the child would be even more frightened and that might worsen the situation.

This is one lesson that I have learnt today. Quite a few lessons in fact.
(1) Basic First Aid skills must be learnt and never be forgetten, especially when we become parents
(2) Always try to stay calm in an emergency
(3) Ensure that the child/children are taken care of too, as they are equally traumatised.

On the way home, I discussed the situation with mother and got her to understand that we must not over-react when something like that happens. I realised that she was traumatised too and I tried to calm her and to tell her that this was not the first time that Julian has "pulled such a stunt". It was the first time we were witnessing it for ourselves but I told her that my sister had handled this before and we should try to stay calm in future.

Today, I realise (or rather, I am reminded of) how much I love Julian and Rachel. And I felt the strong sense of sisterly support for my sister.