I'm sick.

I have been in a foul mood at work lately. I think it began since I came back from the camp. I don't really know why. Maybe my patience for childish and pampered behaviour was really worn to the bone during that camp and my "wounds" are still raw and open till now. I've not been the teacher they knew before. I stress so much on discipline that my classes are considered to be very well-disciplined by general standards but I think I am setting my expectations too high on them. *sigh* The one week break from teaching next week will be good for me to really nurse that "wound" and restore my patience level.

They all asked me why I was in school. Why didn't I just go on MC? I just said that I had no choice but to go to school to teach because I cannot afford to miss school anymore. Come to think of it, I do have a choice. I COULD have chosen not to go to school. So I chose to go, so I should stop harping on how circumstances have trapped me and that I was "suffering" from lack of choice and lack of rest.

When I'm sick, I get abit whiney inside. This little person in me just wants or expects care and concern from those around me. Then I take a step back and remember that they are all busy with their own work and hey, I should stop feeling like they owe me something just because they're my friends! I should stop pitying myself.

Yeah. Self-pity. Stop.

That was why I was feeling miserable the first half of the day. Thereafter having realised that I was miserable because I made myself so, I stopped and the day brightened.

So I learnt something today.